Pat has the sentencing hearing all planned out.

[Meownaw]

His fantasies are Rupert Pupkin levels of delusions. You were right Pat and we were wrong!

 

[RacistPigeon]

Victim Impact Statement


Yeah, that’s how a real man handles things. What a pathetic faggot

 

[DoctorSteveCarlisi]

"Welp Judge child, I was born at a very young age. And I recall that my father had a sign on the fridge that said #DLTIW, even though hash tags wouldn't be invented for decades. He was a particularly virile man and definitely not gay. My mother taught me all the tricks of Psychology. Anyway, as I was saying, in grade school one of my teachers once said of me..."

"Sir, don't do that."

 

[fusciasomething]

Love the actual pfp compared to his current one.

 

[iBangedQuasi]

"witness impact statement" fawkin incredible 1.2gpa really shining

"They called me fat on the internet which lead me to gain weight!"

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Guarantee this dope has spent more time drafting, revising and polishing his “witness [sic] impact statement” than he has spent on his WIP book. What they have in common is that neither will ever see the light of day, but I’d pay good money (to anyone but Pat) to read them.

There are actual templates out there for writing these statements. Let’s see how well we think Pat would be able to stick to the requirements and restrictions:

No comment necessary.

One of the key inclusions suggested by them all is detail on the counseling and therapy the crime required you to seek. Uh oh! Pat will never seek therapy and prides himself on it. He thinks “I’m so mentally strong that being stalked and harassed every day for five years couldn’t affect me” will make him sound admirable rather than full of shit.

All of these statement templates highlight exactly how much of a weakling Pat is. Look at this breakdown of paragraphs and the fact that an adult male would write one of these about being called fat on the internet is side-splitting.

 

[justice4bernell]

When will Bernell's friends and family be able to read their "witness impact statements"?

 

[N64 Cube]

He really is insufferable, isn’t he?

 

[Will Tate]

Guarantee this dope has spent more time drafting, revising and polishing his “witness [sic] impact statement” than he has spent on his WIP book. What they have in common is that neither will ever see the light of day, but I’d pay good money (to anyone but Pat) to read them.

There are actual templates out there for writing these statements. Let’s see how well we think Pat would be able to stick to the requirements and restrictions:

View attachment 133009

No comment necessary.

One of the key inclusions suggested by them all is detail on the counseling and therapy the crime required you to seek. Uh oh! Pat will never seek therapy and prides himself on it. He thinks “I’m so mentally strong that being stalked and harassed every day for five years couldn’t affect me” will make him sound admirable rather than full of shit.

All of these statement templates highlight exactly how much of a weakling Pat is. Look at this breakdown of paragraphs and the fact that an adult male would write one of these about being called fat on the internet is side-splitting.

View attachment 133010

Come on, Pat, writing prompt, show us what you got!

 

[Salted Earth Truffle]

Come on, Pat, writing prompt, show us what you got!

Insert your own childs:

Your Honor,

I stand before you today as a victim of relentless stalking, seeking to share the profound impact it has had on my life. This ordeal has caused immense emotional distress, leading to physical consequences that altered the very fabric of my existence.

The persistent and malicious actions of the stlaker shattered my sense of safety, leaving me in a perpetual state of fear and anxiety. Every step I took, every decision I made, was overshadowed by the constant threat lurking in the shadows. The weight of their unrelenting presence pressed upon me, suffocating any remnants of peace or tranquility.

As time wore on, the relentless nature of the stalking began to chip away at my self-esteem and self-worth. The ceaseless barrage of unwanted attention tore at the fabric of my confidence, leaving me vulnerable and shattered. Slowly, the weight of their torment manifested physically within me, as I sought solace in unhealthy coping mechanisms and struggled to find comfort in food.

The consequences of this malicious intrusion extended far beyond my emotional well-being. The strain and stress placed upon my marriage were insurmountable. The constant barrage of stalking behaviors poisoned the trust that once bound us, leading to irreparable damage. The weight of this burden grew heavier with each passing day — literally — until my transition to morbid obesity crushed very foundation of our relationship. When it crumbled, we were left with no choice but to part ways.

Divorce, a word that carries immense emotional weight, became an unfortunate reality for me. The toll that stalking took on my mental and physical health strained the bonds of love and commitment that were once unbreakable. The haunting presence of the stlaker left no room for harmony or happiness, instead inflicting pain and discord upon everything I held dear.

Your Honor, I implore you to consider the gravity of these consequences as you evaluate the impact of stalking upon its victims. The weight I have carried, both metaphorically and literally, is not one that I bear alone. It extends beyond my physical appearance and encompasses the very essence of my being. May my testimony shed light on the devastating repercussions of stalking, not only on an individual's emotional well-being but on their relationships and the course of their lives.

Thank you, Your Honor, for your attention and consideration.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]

 

[Cartoon Redux]

I hope it goes to court so the prosecutor can say Pat’s toilet etc. what’s some of them other Twitter names we got?

Penis Piglinson was a favorite of mine

 

[T. Booth Willy]

I would take it all the way to a trial. No plea bargain. Half the jury will be texting pat by the time it's over. I'm going to represent myself and ask him all kinds of questions. And I'm going to make him read shit from his evidence folder on the stand. If he sees anyone laugh he'll have a complete breakdown and start childing everyone in the courtroom. Then the bailiffs will have to kick his ass and drag him out kicking and squealing. I'll be found not guilty and then have sex with a few of the women that came to watch the trial.

 

[Antwan Kumiya]

I bet it starts with Welp,

He probably edits it weekly with the latest happs.

You know how many commas are in that bitch by now?!?

 

[peckafacce]

Piggy on the stand would be the most glorious thing ever. He would break after the 1st question. "Mr. Tomlinson, why did you continue to respond after all this time"

 

[Meownaw]

Penis Piglinson was a favorite of mine

StealthyGook is my favorite.

 

[NoBacon]

can't wait to hear the recording and laugh at how faggy he sounds

He couldn’t even say his own name properly the first time when he lost against BDA.

 

[AntSucks]

Anybody can write a victim impact statement and send it to the judge. Sometimes the whole community gets together and writes before a sentencing. As a local Wisconsinite my ribs were heavily impacted your honor.

 

[WifeStoreWill]

Fuck this is one of the most embarrassing things Rick has said. Imagine an “actual tough guy” being excited about reading a victim impact statement. What a humiliating beta thing to say.

Plus Rick, you don’t even know what crimes Bobby Jr. actually committed. You’re not going to be able to sit there and talk about every stalking and swatting bullshit that you say ever happened to you and put it on one person. Plus I don’t think they have victim impact statements for misdemeanor phone harassment cases.

 

[Matt from Tinder]

" My impact statement". He has a fantasy of having that " A few good men" moment.

We live in a world that has nazis and those nazis have to be guarded by science fiction writers with twitter accounts.
Who's gonna do it, Hildy?!?
We use words like Honor, Code, Loyalty.
You want me on twitter! You need me on twitter!
You're goddamnded right I swatted myself!!!

 

[Kurt_Love]

This motherfucker thinks he's gonna take the witness stand and his testimony will be like Matthew McConaughey at the end of A Time to Kill. Porcine simpleton.

Close your eyes. Now imagine that Firstname Lastname is a black lesbian trans Muslim spaceship captain.