Nikkki and pat Speculation Thread

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Cause it's sterile and he likes the taste.

"If you can dodge your parental rights, you can dodge court-ordered payments."

 

[FurBurger]

think you were the one that said this yesterday, about how he moved into one part of the hovel, so he could call in the Swat to the other half.

I did.

I'm sure he has sheets he can pop on the other bed...

What other bed? Up until recently it was rented out to other people, and if I recall SpaceEdge's "Lifestyles of the Poor and Fetid" tour of the joint on the previous board it's not a furnished apartment. Look, it's still up on Zillow, and there's no furniture - just a large family-sized fridge that was too small for Pat's circus animal sized appetite.

Either Pat was sleeping on the wooden floor of part 2 of the hovel, or he's moved his shit in there and is "taking a break" from Nikki, or he was doing indescribably foul things with his tenants that night and afterwards was unable to walk the 15 yards to his apartment.

My guess is option B.

 

[Treat Yourself]

Look, it's still up on Zillow, and there's no furniture

That ancient lean-to in that pepperoni-infested neighborhood is worth $282k? What the fuck?

 

[O-BLOCK NIGGA!]

They arent separated. They still go on all the trips together and were just recently together looking at that garden thing.

Here’s the deal. They live in denial. At their age they know this is it or die alone so any issues they have are ignored and washed away with alcohol and vacations. The trips are a way for them to have the facade of a healthy fun relationship, with none of the real meat of potatoes of being actually happy. They’re empty shells.
In an actual good relationship, you can just stay inside your shitty house and enjoy each others company, or at least tolerate it.
They have to leave the nation 6 times a year to even make it bearable.

That's a good point. Drinking is one thing, but high-ticket excursions like traveling - done excessively - is another.

 

[guest]

I wonder if rick makes niki dress up like a cat

Imagine her love handles pouring out of some pop-up strip mall halloween store costume with her special cat eye sunglasses on her head. It's incredibly gay to brag about banging a 22 year old who coulda been a fawkin model but she has too much dignity to fuck 50 photographers, but he brags about fucking some dumpy chick that got passed around by 50 bartenders and assorted menial laborers before she got the big prize. Ugly girls like that can sometimes suck a mean dick but I'm laying money that not a single person she has fucked has ever jerked off to the memory. What I'm saying is she's fat and looks like she smells.

 

[guest]

I think it's simpler than people make it out to be. They were both aging and it was clear neither were going to have a family at that point. Pat had a failed marriage and an abandoned child, and Niki was too old to have any children. Niki got together with Pat because she thought it was just some fat guy with similar interests and they'd live out the rest of their lives watching cape shit on NetFlix, playing the occasional board game, and having a drink here and there at a tacky Irish pub. It was a marriage like one you'd find in a retirement community basically, not someone to fuck, but someone to watch movies and play scrabble with. You could also think of it as a marriage between dykes.

I know we've shifted on our thoughts on Niki because of vacation pictures, glasses on head, "they're trying to kill us", etc. but I'd bet the vacations are the only thing not driving her completely up the wall. I'd imagine they argue a lot not just because of atalkers, but Pat's shitty attitude in general, and the vacations are a moment of excitement for Niki to not just drop this fat idiot full stop. But that's another thing she has to deal with. She's old now. What's after Pat? It's him or being completely alone and that being an actual tangible reality now.

TL;DR Niki realized she was old and washed up / connected with Pat to have a partner to watch NetFlix with til she dies / is now stuck with a manbaby screaming every single day and engaging strangers from the internet while she rolls her eyes.

edit: if it's also true Niki is bringing home the dough, she's probably reluctant to file for divorce because she doesn't want Pat making a claim to her income and her shit.

 

[guest]

As someone dealing with a hell of a roller coaster this year in a marriage....They're fucking roommates and they do not fuck