Most sexually deviant thing you've done?

[WhereWeAt]

Farted while being blown.

Not a deviant one, but I was banging a lovely lady, everything was going great, and as soon as I blew my load I ripped ass something fierce. Still got seconds the next day, though.

Who didn't bang a 16 year old girl when they were 18/19/20? They were easy pickings because you were older than them and that was a status symbol for them to tell their friends about. In return you got pristine pussy.

This is some Cumia shit right here. A 20 year old dating a 16 year old has every fucking advantage, and everything you said could be applied to a 30 year old banging a 16 year old. It's fucking wrong, legal or not.

 

[Snake]

Not a deviant one, but I was banging a lovely lady, everything was going great, and as soon as I blew my load I ripped ass something fierce. Still got seconds the next day, though.

This is some Cumia shit right here. A 20 year old dating a 16 year old has every fucking advantage, and everything you said could be applied to a 30 year old banging a 16 year old. It's fucking wrong, legal or not.

Another fart incident happened with the same girl. She was blowing me, and I was going to jerk off on her face. But she decides that she wants to do it, but before she grabbed it I just starting nutting and she was all what the fuck since it went all over her clothes. I was laughing so hard I let out the most obnoxious BRAAAAAAAAAAAP and at that point I've never farted in front of her.

 

[MonsterSteve]

I have a lot but one funny story was how I was in the ICU for a few days and of course being a deviant I felt like jerking off. It wasn't easy because your entire room is windows so the nurses can see in at all times. So under my gown I tried jerking off but every time I got close to cumming a nurse would come in because my heart monitor kept going off b/c I was getting all worked up. They kept coming in and asking if everything is alright lol. I finally got off but I think the nurse had to come in the room like 3 separate times to check on me to see if my heart was giving out.

Another is when me and an ex were having sex everywhere and we thought some shitty movie playing at the movie theater would be good since no one would be there. Well after the beginning of the movie, we're sitting in the back and she's blowing me with my dick out and some old lady walks in and looks to the left, sees us, gasps and then walks out.

 

[WhereWeAt]

I was way for work in Alabama, got thirsty, and I cruised craigslist and found some bitch pushing 50 when I was in my mid 20s. We met up at a bar, brought her to the Hilton Garden Inn where I was staying and fucked 4 times. She looked something like the "before" in this one:

Not a proud moment, but I got my dick wet. Another time this very, very big gal came onto me really hard at a bar. Another, "fuck it, can't have a dry dick" moment. Took her home and into my bedroom where my bed was on these stilts so I could fit storage bins underneath. I push her on the bed and this hefty temptress broke the stilts. Without skipping a beat she goes, "Just fuck me on the floor," like this shit's happened to her many a time. She squirted all over the floor and deliberately left her driver's license so she could stop by the next day.

Turns out she was a grade school teacher in the small hick town where I lived and married to the principal. She came to pick up the driver's license, gave me her number, and I never called. If you saw the fucking shambles she left my bedroom in, you wouldn't have either.

 

[guest]

This is some Cumia shit right here. A 20 year old dating a 16 year old has every fucking advantage, and everything you said could be applied to a 30 year old banging a 16 year old. It's fucking wrong, legal or not.

Who said anything about dating, Ned Flanders?

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

Turns out she was a grade school teacher in the small hick town where I lived and married to the principal. She came to pick up the driver's license, gave me her number, and I never called. If you saw the fucking shambles she left my bedroom in, you wouldn't have either.

Teachers are comically slutty. Wish I realized that back when I was in school

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

It's not like you were 40. And 15 and 16 are both legal age in several European countries. I think it's 14 in Italy. It would be a social taboo for some middle aged guy to be banging girls that age in those places, probably get beaten up by the girl's male relatives, but no one cares if some 20 year old guy did the deed.

I dunno, man. Somone shot me her Myspace a few days later and I felt like a creep. She looked young af in the pics.

I dunno if they were old pics or she just slutted it up with the make up and shit that night, but I def would not have fucked with the girl in those pics.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Long story short, I sharted on my way to a party and had no time to clean myself. Wind up getting my dick sucked with a ball of poop in my ass. She didnt even notice

 

[guest]

I dunno, man. Somone shot me her Myspace a few days later and I felt like a creep. She looked young af in the pics.

I dunno if they were old pics or she just slutted it up with the make up and shit that night, but I def would not have fucked with the girl in those pics.

I deleted that last joke as I realised it could be misconstrued and have this place on a watch list.

 

[aRTie02150]

I jerked off into a paper towel tube during someone's house party and left it on the counter where I found it.

I'm sure someone found it and was confused or grossed out.

 

[guest]

picked up this girl from a bar right after last call. Literally 30 second convo before we cabbed it home and I had unprotected sex with her, basically stuck it in every hole and orifice, no condoms, nada.

then mid morning, as she was passed out on my tiny twin bed, i didn't know her name so i go for her purse to get some ID. She wakes up as Im rummaging, calls me a thief, grabs her purse and leaves my place and never answered my calls.

 

[guest]

picked up this girl from a bar right after last call. Literally 30 second convo before we cabbed it home and I had unprotected sex with her, basically stuck it in every hole and orifice, no condoms, nada.

then mid morning, as she was passed out on my tiny twin bed, i didn't know her name so i go for her purse to get some ID. She wakes up as Im rummaging, calls me a thief, grabs her purse and leaves my place and never answered my calls.

One of my oldest mates had a similar experience when we were in our early 20s. Don't know about condom status or which holes he put it in but he went home with some floozy he met in the pub. Difference with your story is he woke up early while she was still out, realised he'd spent all his cash on buying her drinks so went into her wallet and took 20 quid. Got a cab back to a McDonald's near his place and bought breakfast on her and walked the rest of the way home. Probably not a big surprise that he's a lawyer now.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Rape

 

[WhereWeAt]

Long story short, I sharted on my way to a party and had no time to clean myself. Wind up getting my dick sucked with a ball of poop in my ass. She didnt even notice

#Ruizing

 

[WhereWeAt]

Teachers are comically slutty. Wish I realized that back when I was in school

Now that I'm a parent, it occupies most of my mental bandwidth anytime I'm in the same room as them. Like, "The fuck was this whore up to last night/this morning?"

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I came on my ex's ass while she was asleep one time. I told her in the morning, she literally said "that's hot, I'm into it" and then if we'd have a fight or break up she'd bring that up saying that I sexually assaulted her when I did that to make me feel like a piece of shit. I used to tie this bitch up and fuck her from behind while holding her head under water, backhand her tits and ass until my hands hurt and gag her on my dick until she puked, but the cum on the ass that she wouldn't have known about if I didn't tell her was an issue.

 

[guest]

I came on my ex's ass while she was asleep one time. I told her in the morning, she literally said "that's hot, I'm into it" and then if we'd have a fight or break up she'd bring that up saying that I sexually assaulted her when I did that to make me feel like a piece of shit. I used to tie this bitch up and fuck her from behind while holding her head under water, backhand her tits and ass until my hands hurt and gag her on my dick until she puked, but the cum on the ass that she wouldn't have known about if I didn't tell her was an issue.

I sometimes forget that you're a romantic at your core, Abe. Don't ever change.

 

[guest]

I sometimes forget that you're a romantic at your core, Abe. Don't ever change.

I wasn't taking the piss there Abe. That genuinely made me laugh

 

[Brooke Shields]

I used to tie this bitch up and fuck her from behind while holding her head under water, backhand her tits and ass until my hands hurt and gag her on my dick until she puked

 

[guest]

It's not like you were 40. And 15 and 16 are both legal age in several European countries. I think it's 14 in Italy. It would be a social taboo for some middle aged guy to be banging girls that age in those places, probably get beaten up by the girl's male relatives, but no one cares if some 20 year old guy did the deed.