Local cheater at a marathon thinks he can out run an NFL player.

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

I had to re-read that 6 times to even understand what rick is saying. Why did he write that so clumsily.
it should have been: "I would have the best chance of beating option #2 while simultaneously risking serious injury or death."
...not whatever the fuck he wrote.
Where is the irony?
getting injured or killed isn't pertinent to the ironic scenario at hand.
It would be ironic if he got to the 1 yard line and fumbled, or hit a ball to the warning track and it was caught (the ironic part being that instead of winning, he lost the challenge).
of course pat is a complete nihilist, no kids, no future, gunning for war from his fart couch, so he subconsciously wishes for his pain to end through debilitating injury or death.

retarded asshole.

You act like he’s an actual writer or something.