Local cheater at a marathon thinks he can out run an NFL player.

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I’d pay money to watch Pat try and play basketball.

 

[DougOutDoug]

Even lowering it to
1) tally one stat in any category during an NBA game
2) get past the line of scrimmage one time during an NFL game
3) make contact with a ball thrown by an MLB pitcher
would still make it impossible for virtually everyone

 

[MonsterSteve]

I’d pay money to watch Pat try and play basketball.

 

[NoBacon]

Even lowering it to
1) tally one stat in any category during an NBA game
2) get past the line of scrimmage one time during an NFL game
3) make contact with a ball thrown by an MLB pitcher
would still make it impossible for virtually everyone

Not for trained knife fighter and rebel without a cause Torque Wheeler, child.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

1) tally one stat in any category during an NBA game

I imagine Pat could get a technical called against him pretty easily.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'm a big guy and I was a linebacker but everyone runs the ball in drills. I remember getting set up in a drill with one of the biggest guys on the team, 6'6", he looked 35 when we were 14 and went on to play in the CFL for a bit. It was like getting hit by a fucking car. He knocked all the wind out of me and I made some involuntary grunt/squawk that I've never heard myself make before or since. I was not prepared for how hard the fucker was capable of hitting and that was in a highschool football practice. That kid would crush Pat. Elite NFL niggers would crush that kid. It's like those guys that say they could fight a gorilla or something. They can say whatever delusional shit because they'll never have to prove it.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Exactly. Watch former NBA end of the bench scrub Brian Scalabrine, who's in his 40s, on YouTube make an absolute laughingstock of delusional idiots who think they can even score one basket against him one on one.

Like that show Pros Vs Joe's. They'd bring in retired players of the sports to face the contestants and they always got housed. Though I wanted someone to kick Bill romanowski in the face. Total cunt. Also the unathletic Jew announcer who would talk shit to the joes because clearly looked down on him in high school

 

[Antwan2]

Like that show Pros Vs Joe's. They'd bring in retired players of the sports to face the contestants and they always got housed. Though I wanted someone to kick Bill romanowski in the face. Total cunt. Also the unathletic Jew announcer who would talk shit to the joes because clearly looked down on him in high school

Bill romanowski is pfg certified, child.

Loved his lack of remorse for playing dirty and doing dirtbag shit

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Bill romanowski is pfg certified, child.

Loved his lack of remorse for playing dirty and doing dirtbag shit

That was another thing about the show that annoyed me. The pros were to always holding, grabbing jerseys and just generally cheap bullshit. They didn't even need to in order to win they just wanted to inflate their stats... Against nobodies in a game show. Like that drunk nigger Dennis Rodman

 

[Jenna]

1 is practically impossible if the other team is playing defense, you'd basically have to set screens the whole game and pray for any opening to shoot.

2 actually might be the easiest, because it's all about blocking and if a lane opens up, the average joe can sprint 10 yards. But getting tackled by a linebacker would wreck your shit.

I'd go with 3, if I only get 3-4 ABs like a simulated MLB game I'm shit outta luck, but if it's just batting practice I'll eventually make contact

 

[TorqueWheeler]

I'm a big guy and I was a linebacker but everyone runs the ball in drills. I remember getting set up in a drill with one of the biggest guys on the team, 6'6", he looked 35 when we were 14 and went on to play in the CFL for a bit. It was like getting hit by a fucking car. He knocked all the wind out of me and I made some involuntary grunt/squawk that I've never heard myself make before or since. I was not prepared for how hard the fucker was capable of hitting and that was in a highschool football practice. That kid would crush Pat. Elite NFL niggers would crush that kid. It's like those guys that say they could fight a gorilla or something. They can say whatever delusional shit because they'll never have to prove it.

Yeah there were guys in college who made it to the NFL and were like genetic experiments. I'd love to see Pat tossed into the middle of a NFL game.

 

[DougOutDoug]

Trevor Bauer pitches three innings against five elite Arizona high school players who are going to D1 schools and only one gets a hit. Laughable to think some fat Twitter layabout would even get the bat off their shoulder

 

[guest]

Ya know for an author he sure does write like a clumsy faggot.

 

[guest]

I had to re-read that 6 times to even understand what rick is saying. Why did he write that so clumsily.
it should have been: "I would have the best chance of beating option #2 while simultaneously risking serious injury or death."
...not whatever the fuck he wrote.
Where is the irony?
getting injured or killed isn't pertinent to the ironic scenario at hand.
It would be ironic if he got to the 1 yard line and fumbled, or hit a ball to the warning track and it was caught (the ironic part being that instead of winning, he lost the challenge).
of course pat is a complete nihilist, no kids, no future, gunning for war from his fart couch, so he subconsciously wishes for his pain to end through debilitating injury or death.

retarded asshole.

"I choose option 2, because it would bring the sweet release of the grim reaper's embrace into my miserable existence" - Pat

By the way, that fake quote I just attributed to him was more articulate than anything in all of his novels.

 

[Dog Eater]

Trevor Bauer pitches three innings against five elite Arizona high school players who are going to D1 schools and only one gets a hit. Laughable to think some fat Twitter layabout would even get the bat off their shoulder

Just swing at it every time and don’t worry about if it’s a foul or whatever they call it in baseball.

 

[guest]

Just swing at it every time and don’t worry about if it’s a foul or whatever they call it in baseball.

I would love to see him swinging a bat because he would make that same noise Steve does swinging a tennis racket on American Dad


[MEDIA=youtube]yvvE3vdOo9A[/MEDIA]

 

[DMbA]

I’d pay money to watch Pat try and play basketball.

if only theres an option for ice hockey so some nigger can have an accident with the stick and his throat

 

[EraGodless]

1 is practically impossible if the other team is playing defense, you'd basically have to set screens the whole game and pray for any opening to shoot.

2 actually might be the easiest, because it's all about blocking and if a lane opens up, the average joe can sprint 10 yards. But getting tackled by a linebacker would wreck your shit.

I'd go with 3, if I only get 3-4 ABs like a simulated MLB game I'm shit outta luck, but if it's just batting practice I'll eventually make contact

You wouldn't come within 5 inches of making contact with a ball thrown by an mlb pitcher. I believe average velocity is at 94-95 mph- with some guys who can throw high 90's into the 7th-8th inning. Then you would have to worry about offspeed, sliders and curveball. I'd seriously doubt you would be able to see the ball as it's released from the pitchers hand. You would hear a whizzing sound and a loud clap as it hit the catchers mitt- and then, maybe you would take a swing.

Even the best hitters in the world are successful only 30% of the time vs mlb pitching and.a lot of the best hitters are triple digits in strikeouts every year.

 

[EraGodless]

I would love to see him swinging a bat because he would make that same noise Steve does swinging a tennis racket on American Dad

They're making fun of Monica Seles who used to do that shit. It was fucking annoying.

 

[Uncle Floyd]

tally one stat in any category during an NBA game

An assist might be possible if the defense doesn't just yank the ball out of my hands any time I have possession.