Joe is stealing leftover food on the cruise 😆👍

[RealTonySchiavone]

You work in a library? You don't get to sit and read all day, you help others be able to do that. You work at a car dealership? You don't go test driving the cars all day, that's for potential buyers. If you work in a casino, of fucking course you don't get to sit and gamble. You're there to work.

Anyone who works knows this by like 18, but Joe is 70 and being forced to mind. This is someone's father lol

Reminds me of my friend who thought working at Guitar Center was going to be some kind of "dream job". As if he'd just be playing guitars and testing amps all day. Of course, he was 17 at the time, not someone who qualifies for AARP.

 

[Mick_Mickerson]

He's not allowed to drink, in his cabin or anywhere else on the boat.

Or be in possession of alcohol. Seems a bit draconian you can't drink during your off time in the cabin away from customers, but I guess since they're all packed together it isn't worth the trouble and there are enough foreigners who want the gig due to free room.and board

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I feel like Joe is what Dennis the Menace would've grown into. He's always up to mischief. He can't even stop himself. He's pathologically mischievous.

"Dey confiscated my SLINGSHOT."

 

[TorpidSloth]

I actually wonder if his room being inspected from time to time is related to the casino incident.

I'm sure it is. It'd be one thing if he was a 19 year old kid, but having to tell some 65 year old "no, you can't use the same facilities as the people you're paid to entertain" would lead any manager to say to themselves "there's something majorly off about this guy."

Like @bumbum8 said, it's the kind of thing you instinctively know, or at least learn quickly in your first fast food/pub summer job. If paying customers see the people who work there enjoying the same services as them, it subconsciously cheapens the experience for them. It looks horribly unprofessional to boot. If you don't know that, it suggests you've never worked a job like that before. Or you have, but you're nuts.

You can just imagine Joe's half cretinous/half indignant expression, acting defiant with his empty eyes and open mouth.

"Huh, I didn't know that. I mean I don't see what the big deal is with me playing a game of poker, but whatever. If those are the rules."

"Ya, as I said Joseph, it's all in the employees handbook that we sent you with your contract. Three months ago."

"Ha! OK. My bad!" (blood boiling)

Lukasz left the encounter feeling odd, like he'd just interacted with something different. When he got back to his office he sat down, woke up his computer, opened Google and typed in "Joseph Cumia."

 

[Dani's Thick Legsters]

Dont forget that this was a year in the making too. He was supposed to do it in 2023 but " Maui was burning". ( no idea why that was his excuse when he was going to be on the opposite side of the earth.) He had over a year to run the numbers and find out all the job entails. It feels like was talking about this since covid

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This retard claimed he was in "a different hemisphere" while being in Puerto Rico

 

[despacito69]

Alright, this is more humiliating than People's Court.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

 

[BoomerSperg]

I still want to send in glowing reviews so he might get another contract

this would be funnier than any nasty review could be.

JOE IN DISTRESS ON HIS SECOND, BETTER CRUISE.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I want more of these. Just little vignettes detailing Joe's misery. All entries welcome.

5:30am, sun blazing outside as the Princess cruises along the Norwegian shoreline.

“It’s Wednesday” the old cow thinks. “We have our muster in 15 minutes.” He rolls out of his twin bed rubs crusted sleep from his eyes. Joseph looks around the cabin and immediately thinks of home. Instead of his black rifle coffee, it’s instant shit from the local Scandinavian discount supermarket.

He waddles out for mustering and a perky young homosexual man from Indonesia says “Joseph! Good morning! You’re going to be the guide today, it’s your turn!” he then proceeds to hand Joe an obnoxious yellow baseball cap with “GUIDE” written on it.

“Hrmph” Moo thinks. “I’m a vet, this ain’t shit.”

Flash forward one hour and he’s getting crank from not having his breakfast (scrambled rubbery eggs and boiled hot dogs with ketchup. Only the best for “The Help”).

 

[DooDooBrown]

Except instead of making it to Mexico with a lot of money, Joe will be released older, broker and none the wiser. He should have stayed at home and got a job at Walmart.

He’d be shoplifting within a week. We’ll see how much he worships the vets after Rudy the 90 year old greeter rats him out for napping in the coolers on the clock.

 

[TorpidSloth]

He’d be shoplifting within a week. We’ll see how much he worships the vets after Rudy the 90 year old greeter rats him out for napping in the coolers on the clock.

He'd probably upload video of him chowing down on "free" food to social media, like that retarded she-boon did recently

 

[Cumiace]

THE JOSEIDON ADVENTURE

ACT I SCENE I

Camera slowly zooms in on Joe lying on a tiny bed(shot from above) 1000yd stare, mouth slightly agape
"Estonia.....Shiiiit, I'm still in Estonia"
Cut to a ceiling vent with a fabric softener strip duct taped to it, flapping in a breeze of stale recirculated air like a tiny flag of surrender
(PSYCHEDELIC FUNERAL DIRGE STARTS PLAYING)
(Series of clips of Joe ripping up towels, performing self-dentistry, sobbing while typing into a laptop, staggering around with purloined mini-bar jameson bottles, doing tai chi in his underwear)
LOUD BANGING ON CABIN DOOR. TINY WELL DRESSED VIETNAMESE MAN ENTERS WITHOUT WAITING FOR RESPONSE
TRANH(in broken english): "Juh wha duh fug why you no in puppet theatre! Get dressed and get down the! AND NO MO SWE-SHUH. YOU WEH SUIT!

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Hopefully we get some great material from his last couple days - he will be in “fuck it” mode which could give up some big laughs

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Hopefully we get some great material from his last couple days - he will be in “fuck it” mode which could give up some big laughs
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Its not the army you dolt.

Its funny that he lasted about half way before he was counting the days to go home.

 

[A House Nigger]

No doubt washed down with the leftover dregs of Jamieson he also collects from the passengers glasses and drinks in his cell/cabin.

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wtf Joe, is this supposed to be an "ace up his sleeve"?

 

[TorpidSloth]

Hopefully we get some great material from his last couple days - he will be in “fuck it” mode which could give up some big laughs
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He's literally crossing off the days like a prisoner in an old timey movie. The fact that he's hated every minute of it makes me so happy.

 

[RealTonySchiavone]

"It's an adventure"

Yeah, it's a real thrilling experience to spit out your teeth like watermelon seeds and stuff dryer sheets in the vent to kill the mildew/BO stench.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Dont forget that this was a year in the making too. He was supposed to do it in 2023 but " Maui was burning". ( no idea why that was his excuse when he was going to be on the opposite side of the earth.) He had over a year to run the numbers and find out all the job entails. It feels like was talking about this since covid

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jie you dope that is an invasive species. Just kill it, retard

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

wtf Joe, is this supposed to be an "ace up his sleeve"?

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Dammit, I was going to point that out. Can’t believe it took all the way until page 7. He’s such a buffoon that it doesn’t even rank that highly in his recent blunders.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

I’d love the company to dock Joe’s pay for all the violations he’s boasted about on Facebook.

I don't know if I've got the dark heart to fax them the images... although we haven't done any cow-tipping for a while. It's a tough one maan