🎥How Twitter Ruined A Life - The Patrick Tomlinson Saga (Part 1)

[Brooke Shields]

Might I suggest some of his classic responses? “You did not fart in my wife’s vagina, child.” is good but there are literally tons of others.

Yeah, literally gotta get the attention in the first 15 seconds.
Just start immediately without context the "You have AIDS, child" "I do not have AIDS, child" "You do have AIDS, child" and ridiculous Fatrick-non-sequiturs which make people think 'What the fuck?'

We live in a time where even the 60yo Boomers have the attention span of their Tiktok loving Zoomer co-horts, they all use the same brain draining apps.
I'm just saying by experience, if i randomly see this as a related video and click it, I'm prob realizing it's gay and leaving it when it starts off with the boring "skip here past the warning"

But you already posted the video so you're prob not planning on changing it, so once again it's just a video for the brothermen to share to maybe 1 outsider and have them think we're loons

 

[Ha Ha Ha Holeee Shit!]

I hate the voice it sounds like a bad AI Keanu Reeves. Also that trigger warning has got to go. I nope out right there.

Otherwise good effort. Keep working on it.

 

[Sue Lightning]

Wow this is really good, or bad, idk i didnt watch it

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

I think the best way to hook viewers is to juxtapose the interview clips where he's claiming victimhood with clips of him being an absolutely maniac against Josiah.

That would do a good job of giving his perspective while letting the viewer know that there's more than meets the eye.

There's a reason why every respectable outlet that has covered this has gone along with his narrative, and it's the fact that it is easier to relate to a story about someone harassed relentlessly. They're going with the "it could happen to you" angle and making people wonder what they would do in this situation. I think it makes sense to frame the story in the same way and then gradually make the viewer less and less sympathetic with him. This is basically what Javier did, but he didn't go all the way with it.

Cold open with

"This is what your teachers must have felt like"

"Shut. Your. FUCKING. MOUF!"

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Cold open with

"This is what your teachers must have felt like"

"Shut. Your. FUCKING. MOUF!"

Or better yet his other lines fro J5 “shut your little baby infant mouth, child.”

 

[quasi101]

Look we wanted pizza and this is hamburger.

 

[RobertMewler]

A few remarks:

It wasn't so much Pat's anti-Norm tweet that set us off. It was his pompous response about follower counts to the original reddit guy's mockery that got us interested enough to dig deeper into him. If he hadn't responded to the rascal in such a shitty way he would have been immediately forgotten.

Pat promoted his cat's account:

Also, quasi was not one of his trolls (as mentioned at the end).

Edit: That's all that really stuck out to me. Other than that (and the AI voice and unnecessarily long intro), good job. It's hilarious how quickly this was made compared to Porsalin's attempt so far.

 

[The Talking Dead]

It's hilarious how quickly this was made compared to Porsalin's attempt so far.

Porsalin could put out the documentary-equivalent of Apocalypse Now or The Godfather and it would still be a disappointment at this point. There is no reason for any documentary to take this long, let alone one about such a frivolous (and fat) subject matter.

 

[CQ Beans]

I haven't watched it yet but the opening of a Pat doc should always be, "I've been SWATted 47 times because I said Norm MacDonald wasn't funny." Instant hook and it always sounds ridiculous and hilarious at the same time.

This faggot has got ideas!

 

[CQ Beans]

This is the correct approach. Porsalin’s all encompassing doc as opposed to a piecemeal approach was never right for the Fat-verse saga. It’s also been noted how this story needs a straight man narrator who can contrast the ridiculousness of this tale with seriousness Pat thinks it deserves.

 

[Daddy Warbucks]

Part 2 is being cooked up now, I think it will be a little more interesting. I appreciate all the suggestions and Im going to keep them in mind as I edit this together. Part 2 will start a little more interesting and hopefully will hook viewers in more than a trigger warning
-Warbux friend

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

That AI voice is horrendous. Even if you have a swishy lisp like Nana, just use your real voice or hire someone to read it.

 

[The Talking Dead]

Part 2 is being cooked up now

Is it?

I think it will be a little more interesting.

Do ya?



Ah I'm just busting ya stones

 

[Turry Fawks]

this story needs a straight man narrator

Everyone involved is a faggot tho

 

[John Wayne Gacy]

How long did it take to make this? I got a feeling your answer will make me want to wring that Limey cunt's neck.

 

[Daddy Warbucks]

How long did it take to make this? I got a feeling your answer will make me want to wring that Limey cunt's neck.

last Thursday night, around 1 am, was when this was all conceptualized between me and my friend, over a couple lines of blow. By the next morning episode one was nearly complete.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

Thank you for using Pats shiny cruising for gay sex shirt as the thumbnail.

 

[CQ Beans]

Everyone involved is a faggot tho

Ok literal, @Boberry!

 

[Pat the Simp]

I thought it was ok. The voice didn't bother me.

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

You know what, I really hated that you picked the dramatic tryhard AI voice at first but I laughed out loud when it went into the whole cat account thing. Guaranteed this will be funnier than Porsalin’s over engineered shit pile