- Forum Clout
- 121,157
Well he was a heeb
“Historical Jesus” insults about how he would “actually” look from the location and time is the mark of a retard, FYI.
I don’t think you are retarded, for the record.
DMCA, complaints, and other inquiries:
Well he was a heeb
He was Jewish. I don't think anyone who looked like this“Historical Jesus” insults about how he would “actually” look from the location and time is the mark of a retard, FYI.
I don’t think you are retarded, for the record.
He was Jewish. I don't think anyone who looked like this
View attachment 223028
could have inspired such a following though.
This seems more palatable
View attachment 223029
Jewey, but charismatic
Caviezel, no? How could Mel be wrong?He’s about 6 foot tall, with shoulder length wavey hair parted in the middle, a full beard with light eyes and muscular from a life of hard labour, fasting and travel.
He’s about 6 foot tall, with shoulder length wavey hair parted in the middle, a full beard with light eyes and muscular from a life of hard labour, fasting and travel.
enough about me, what did Jesus look like?He’s about 6 foot tall, with shoulder length wavey hair parted in the middle, a full beard with light eyes and muscular from a life of hard labour, fasting and travel.
Caviezel, no? How could Mel be wrong?
You're going to need to start citing shit that isn't a dream someone had because if you're asking me to believe you and the visions of some dumb bitch over the biblical archaeology review I'm afraid you're out of luck.The only first hand accounts of his description in history are by two romans, who say he had a regal bearing, He wasn’t some little tunnel building rat looking jew.
So let me ask you this: Judas kisses Jesus to point him out to the people that want to betray him, right?We are awash in Jesus fiction. It’s not surprising. Jesus is the best-known figure of history, but in many ways he is also the least known. This makes a great subject for the novelist.
Most ancient bioi (Greek plural of the word for “life”), like modern biographies, describe the subject’s appearance. Even Old Testament descriptions of King David, for example, allude to his physical attractiveness (1 Samuel 16:12; 17:42). But the New Testament Gospels contain no reference to Jesus’ appearance, much less a description of him. We don’t know what he looked like.
He is average height for that place and time.He’s about 6 foot tall
You're going to need to start citing shit that isn't a dream someone had because if you're asking me to believe you and the visions of some dumb bitch over the biblical archaeology review I'm afraid you're out of luck.
What Did Jesus Really Look Like?
What did Jesus look like? In “Painting a Portrait of Jesus,” D. Moody Smith examined the difficulties in answering this question.www.biblicalarchaeology.org
So let me ask you this: Judas kisses Jesus to point him out to the people that want to betray him, right?
Why Did Judas Betray Jesus with a Kiss?
Judas Iscariot, not to be confused with Judas son of James (LukeOne of Jesus’ original twelve disciples, Judas betrayed the Master with a kiss—a betrayal particularly grievous because he was part of the Lord’s inner circle. What was the significance of this disciple’s treacherous act, and what...www.biblestudytools.com
If Jesus is the only 6"4 blonde Aryan chadbro in the Levant why the fuck would he need to do that? Surely you could just casually mention it or, more obviously, his reputation as being the only non "tunnel building rat looking jew" in town would precede him.
The secret is to cut it into really small pieces.We've sunk a lot into R&D here at Panera trying to figure out how he pulled that off
lol, as-salamu alaykum to you too, wahalli.View attachment 223047
I'll cite the icons that have been handed down through the church for millennia now.
The demon "Allah" and his "prophet" Mohamed are in hell where they belong.lol, as-salamu alaykum to you too, wahalli.
A lot of people will be disappointed but last time I talked to Jesus he told me he just wanted to be friendsImagine if Mary and Joseph had turned Jesus in to @NoBacon's Aborted Child . He’d have no savior to die for his sins (sins such as aborting his baby)
everyone would be wearing tiny coathangers around their necksImagine if Mary and Joseph had turned Jesus in to @NoBacon's Aborted Child . He’d have no savior to die for his sins (sins such as aborting his baby)
A height of 6'1" would have been notable at that time. It's just not realistic.
This forum is dedicated exclusively to parody, comedy, and satirical content. None of the statements, opinions, or depictions shared on this platform should be considered or treated as factual information under any circumstances. All content is intended for entertainment purposes only and should be regarded as fictional, exaggerated, or purely the result of personal opinions and creative expression.
Please be aware that this forum may feature discussions and content related to taboo, controversial, or potentially offensive subjects. The purpose of this content is not to incite harm but to engage in satire and explore the boundaries of humor. If you are sensitive to such subjects or are easily offended, we kindly advise that you leave the forum.
Any similarities to real people, events, or situations are either coincidental or based on real-life inspirations but used within the context of fair use satire. By accepting this disclaimer, you acknowledge and understand that the content found within this forum is strictly meant for parody, satire, and entertainment. You agree not to hold the forum, its administrators, moderators, or users responsible for any content that may be perceived as offensive or inappropriate. You enter and participate in this forum at your own risk, with full awareness that everything on this platform is purely comedic, satirical, or opinion-based, and should never be taken as factual information.
If any information or discussion on this platform triggers distressing emotions or thoughts, please leave immediately and consider seeking assistance.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) Website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/