"I have what most retards who are dumb and stupid think is an 'assault rifle.' I say this because I'm about to vomit a caricature of a liberal's take on gun control directly onto your chest, and when you call me a dumb libtard, I'll swing my dick and say I have guns, child, I cannot be a liberal."
"I am the only classic conservative (pro choice, pro gay marriage, LOVE taxes, especially getting other people's taxes, I hate rich people, but I like guns) on the right. The. Only. One. When anyone else on the right makes the argument that the second amendment is to fight a fascist government, what they actually mean is that they hate niggers and wanna kill niggers and exclusively bought their guns to kill niggers. There is literally no other reason a conservative can own a weapon besides furthering white supremacy. That. Is. It."
"This is coming from me, a classic conservative, who bought a gun because I'm convinced Cheeto Man, who is stupid and buffoonish and a turnip, is also the most diabolical evil genius of all time that can and will start the next civil war."
"So I know my liberal friends are retarded about guns but I, classic conservative Pat, know about guns, and why they are good and not bad. Anyone who agrees with my wildly hypocritical ideology can have guns, child. Nazis do not have guns. The definition of Nazi is fluid, child, like gender, and can be twisted and manipulated and bastardized on a whim."