Fireside Chats: 30 minutes with Patrick S. Tomlinson

[Stent]

"because my wife was attending a funeral"

Why the fuck wouldn't you accompany your wife to a funeral, I've never once heard of someone being at a funeral absent their significant other, this is confirmation to me that they're split.

Pat had to work. No, that can't be right.
Pat had to look after his daughter. Hmmm... again that isn't true.
Pat volunteers and takes his commitments seriously. No.
Pat had to visit a sick relative. Nope.
Pat was drunk. Niki probably was as well so that wouldn't stop him.

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

A few notes:

3. He ignored/did not respond to the comment about his tiny pecker. Using Pat Logic, that must mean it's true. He does have a little dick. It's actually the most believable thing about him besides the obvious fact that he is very fat.

Case closed

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

3. He ignored/did not respond to the comment about his tiny pecker. Using Pat Logic, that must mean it's true. He does have a little dick. It's actually the most believable thing about him besides the obvious fact that he is very fat.

The attitude is what gives it away. Everything about his personality is blatantly little dicked. Even if it weren't the case, he's so fat even a PCJ-style framing hammer would need to fight through so much flab to see daylight that only the tip would poke out.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Case closed