Fathers, how hard is raising a baby?

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

The Backbone of America
I'm pretty sure if I really set my mind to it I could've driven a car and walked and talked and done all the shit that I do now as a baby, so I don't really see what the point of parents is anyways. They're just people who tell you to turn your music down and don't let you smoke pot in your room man.

"That bong stinks, get it outta here!"

YOU fuckin stink, old man! YOU get the fuck outta here! That's what I'm gonna say next time.
 

Leonard Rhomberg

Who are you gonna replace me with?
I'm pretty sure if I really set my mind to it I could've driven a car and walked and talked and done all the shit that I do now as a baby, so I don't really see what the point of parents is anyways. They're just people who tell you to turn your music down and don't let you smoke pot in your room man.
Parenting toddlers really is just saying no all the time. Always doing dumb shit
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

The Backbone of America
Parenting toddlers really is just saying no all the time. Always doing dumb shit
I watched a really little kid destroy a couch at a second hand store one time. It was hilarious. I don't know where this kid's family was but he found a hole in a couch and he just picked at it like a raccoon until he'd ripped the whole cushion apart. Super casual too. Obviously didn't enter his head that what he was doing was an asshole move, he was just doing a thing.
 

Mick_Mickerson

Which way?! Medium or well done?
Honestly until they're around a year old there's not much to be done. Change some diapers, make sure they get tummy time, take them from the missus when she needs a break. If they're breastfed you're really off the hook.
I thought first year was the hardest? Is that just because they don't sleep through the night?

I'm about to be a first-time dad and, yes, I'm now consulting the opie and Anthony forums for advice.

Oof
 

Leonard Rhomberg

Who are you gonna replace me with?
I thought first year was the hardest? Is that just because they don't sleep through the night?

I'm about to be a first-time dad and, yes, I'm now consulting the opie and Anthony forums for advice.

Oof
You will think the first year is the hardest until they are mobile. Everyone gives you the cliche of "enjoy this while it lasts" during the infant stage but they are correct
 

Former Prez Gerald Ford

Come over and we’ll have nachos. And some beer.
They’ll talk to you for 6 hours about it while you try to kill yourself like the scenes in Airplane talking to Striker.
And if you’re actually successful no one will care. Your fur babies will dine on your bloated corpse until the stink finally reaches your neighbors and the cops come to scrape your soupy remains off the floor Into a utility bucket. But at least you can say it was a life well spent, childless and posting on ONA with a bunch of antisocial schizos while you wait for the HIV to turn into AIDS
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

The Backbone of America
You will think the first year is the hardest until they are mobile. Everyone gives you the cliche of "enjoy this while it lasts" during the infant stage but they are correct
When I got with my one ex her son was 18 months. He's like the nicest kid ever and always happy but the terrible twos thing is legit. He'd have screaming freakouts in stores and stuff. He'd flip out and scream cry when he'd have to go to bed or have a bath or put his shoes on or whatever. It got to the point that it was literally making my ears ring every time and I'd have to fight physically cringing at the sound of it. Then he turned 3 and that shit completely stopped and he's awesome.
 

Turry Fawks

Good evening cowards
I thought first year was the hardest? Is that just because they don't sleep through the night?

I'm about to be a first-time dad and, yes, I'm now consulting the opie and Anthony forums for advice.

Oof
Make sure your wife knows how important breastfeeding directly from the tit is and you won't be waking up as often. Maybe it's because I grew up around lots of kids (huge family on my dad's side) but I never found the first year too bad. They can't really move fast enough to get into trouble. The scariest part is making sure they're breathing. You know they're breathing but you still feel compelled to check constantly.

There's a lot of faggot granola parenting psychosis that goes on but if you steer clear of those circles it's PFG.
 

Turry Fawks

Good evening cowards
When I got with my one ex her son was 18 months. He's like the nicest kid ever and always happy but the terrible twos thing is legit. He'd have screaming freakouts in stores and stuff. He'd flip out and scream cry when he'd have to go to bed or have a bath or put his shoes on or whatever. It got to the point that it was literally making my ears ring every time and I'd have to fight physically cringing at the sound of it. Then he turned 3 and that shit completely stopped and he's awesome.
Our toddler turned two a few months ago and I figured out pretty quickly that if you just preempt their tantrum with one of your own they settle down pretty quick. You wanna drop to the floor and kick and scream? Watch while a pro does it, kid. After about a month of that she's chilled out quite a bit.
 

Leonard Rhomberg

Who are you gonna replace me with?
Make sure your wife knows how important breastfeeding directly from the tit is and you won't be waking up as often. Maybe it's because I grew up around lots of kids (huge family on my dad's side) but I never found the first year too bad. They can't really move fast enough to get into trouble. The scariest part is making sure they're breathing. You know they're breathing but you still feel compelled to check constantly.

There's a lot of faggot granola parenting psychosis that goes on but if you steer clear of those circles it's PFG.
The amount of times ive accidentally woken one of them up shining a light on them trying to see the chest move just once or opened the door to their room just trying to get a clear look at them. They could never be safer than they are lying in the middle of the crib and you still think they are just going to die.

Never did any of that sleep training shit but my kids have always gone down to sleep on the first or second try and slept all the way through the night until 7 or 8 the next morning. I have no idea how I got so lucky but I hear about people having to get up every hour and I just have never had to deal with that. Breatfeeding rules and selfishly it puts the onus on the missus if they do happen to wake up. Sorry toots i got work in the morning
 

Turry Fawks

Good evening cowards
Breatfeeding rules and selfishly it puts the onus on the missus if they do happen to wake up. Sorry toots i got work in the morning
It really doesn't make sense for the man to get up unless it's a cholic problem and they just won't stop crying. I had no issue getting up and walking them around if it was something like that. They're hungry? Not my job.
 
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