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Civilians are now referring to Pat as "Fatrick"
- Thread starter LongIslandchomper
- Start date
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My nigga.
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A nurse walked in to the small, sterile room with a cupcake and a thin unlit candle. "Time for your birthday cake! You hit the big 4-5! Make a wish!"
"I wish I had a nurse that would put her fat arse in gear and get me a birthday cake worth getting out of bed for, child," he said as he folded his arms.
"Sorry, I'll be back in an hour to give you the last ten pills of your medications for the day." The nurse walked out and sighed. Three days working to take care of this man, and she was already ready to throw in the towel. 'He's usually in bed by 3 A.M.' the nurse thought to herself. 'I can get some rope by then, and then when he's asleep...' She stopped herself from following that line of thought any further. She no longer wanted to think about giving this Santa Claus looking asshole his comeuppance, the same ride she was sure each reindeer wanted to extract from their domineering fat man with his brand new rope reins. "There was Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph," she sang. 'And Kathy,' she thought to herself. She sighed and hummed about a red nosed reindeer, and wandered off to her duties. Fatso ripped a huge wet fart that echoed through the hallway. Kathy sighed and turned around, grabbing an adult diaper on the way to the fat man's room.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL LIFE NURSES ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL
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Guest
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His gayboy-berserkers and smegma-crazies were less gay than Pat
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Literally everyone here is a better writer than Patrick.
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It's funny contrasting this guy's timeline with Patso's. In a rough situation, instead of forgetting his kids, cowering in fear from "the Monster" and putting up a false front as an actual tough guy, whoever this guy is isn't afraid to let his guard down and share a sincere feeling about his love for his offspring. He also reflects on mistakes he made and shows signs of remorse for them, instead of putting his energy towards overeating, arguing with strangers on the internet and building plastic replicas of stupid spaceships. Guess that's how it goes when you're an actual man and not Mama Raven's special pudgy boy wonder.
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lol
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Dr. Nigel Igger with a hard hitting question
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If anyone ever needs to give evidence, practice saying the 'p' & 'f' together subtly culminating in Pfatrick, he's gonna hear fatrick every time & get triggered, but there's enough 'puh' in the 'p' to make it deniable.
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Golly-gee Whilikers, I sure do hope Pat doesn't piss off someone with intimate knowledge of prison terminology who could one day decide he's got nothing to lose in going to Milwaukee and caving the skull of a posturing sci-fi author who defends pedos and thinks its okay to assault women in red ballcaps.
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I heard you were talking shit about Patrick S Tomlinson. He’s jacked, not only that but he benches 250lb and is trained martial artist with FIVE guns. He won’t say it because he’s too modest but if you come for him he will neutralise you IMMEDIATELY, you roided up loser. You don’t want to go down this road because Patrick will end you.
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Its been a while since Pat found a rando that got " I want to fight you" angry.