Bumping into celebrities

[guest]

I believe they call this "bug-chasing"

In my defense, I was hammered.

 

[RobertMewler]

I saw Jay Mohr at a gas station like 15 years ago. We made eye contact and then I just looked away and ignored him. I think he wanted to fuck me.

You reminded me of the time I saw him once. He was walking this tiny toy dog (probably Nikki's) by 5th Avenue and 57th Street. I was at my most beautiful then so I thought it'd be fun to be outwardly cruel to him. I locked eyes with him, looked at the tiny dog, then back at him in slight disgust and kept walking. This all happened in the couple of seconds it takes to walk past someone in Manhattan. I hope I humiliated him (even though I think he's a brilliant impressionist and nice guy actually).

 

[guest]

You reminded me of the time I saw him once. He was walking this tiny toy dog (probably Nikki's) by 5th Avenue and 57th Street. I was at my most beautiful then so I thought it'd be fun to be outwardly cruel to him. I locked eyes with him, looked at the tiny dog, then back at him in slight disgust and kept walking. This all happened in the couple of seconds it takes to walk past someone in Manhattan. I hope I humiliated him (even though I think he's a brilliant impressionist and nice guy actually).

PerfomaTive cruelTy for no reason? My kindred spirit...

 

[AntSucks]

I saw a bunch of celebrities at different film festivals, but the one I will always remember is Heather Graham. She was just wearing tight pants (or whatever they're called) and a nice top, but her body looked incredible. There was something about her that just elevated her above all other women. She could have been a major A list actress if she blew the right people. Rumor has it she had principles or something.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

Met deaf fucktard Lou Ferrigno. Guy is actually an obnoxious cocksucker that thinks the sun shines out of his ass. Fuckin deaf fucktard.

Ran into him at a Miner hardware store when I was a wee lad. My aunt said not to bother him because he doesnt like it.

 

[UnPRePared]

I met two British tossers from Genesis who asked me to sing for them until they cried over the record sales, but blamed me rather than their tepid songwriting abilities in comparison to the slapheaded drummer that left years before.

Scccuuummmmbbbaaaggggssss motherfucked me.

 

[guest]

I met Jeter one time and the scccccccuumbag motherfucked me.

Did you at least get one of his sleepover gift baskets?

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Tim Roth was a bit sketchy. Dave Grohl, sorry to say, was pretty cool. Puck from Real World was aces. Brian Regan's brother was cooler than Brian Regan was, but both are great. I've been lucky not to have to deal with too many shitty people in my life.

 

[ShutYourCakeHorn]

Did you at least get one of his sleepover gift baskets?

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I saw Owen Wilson once at LAX while I was waiting in line to get some of those Asian rice snacks at Hudson News or some shit. This was I think 2013.

Some woman came up to him and was so over the top, asking for an autograph and talking very loud. He looked haggard and very pissed off. When she asked for a photo he flat out refused and said he doesn’t do that, and she walked away stunned. I saw him shortly after and just said I like his movies. He said “Thanks so much, have a nice flight.”

 

[RaggotFetard]

I've met a bunch of celebrities through my job.

I once let a door slam in Billy Joel's face cuz I didn't know who he was. No one told me Billy Joel was a little, bald, 4 foot tall dwarf.

I rolled a joint for two of the 30 Seconds from Mars faggots cuz they didn't know how to. After I got done rolling it, I lit it up and burned the fucking thing for a few minutes while I mother fucked them about being faggots, then gave them their half smoked joint and dipped.

Once I had to share a car with the Darkness's manager after an event. I spent the whole time telling him about how I don't respect gimmick, joke bands.

At another event, I was hanging out with this reggae band, Pepper, and I kept telling them how much I hate pop punk bands, followed by "no offense"

I engineered a session with a reggae producer who was hot at the time - Michael (((Goldwasser))). He got all fucked up on pills and I kept asking him if he was going to do any actual work or just keep nodding off on the couch. That mother fucker made the studio bring in a real Hammond B3 organ and barely used it.

I worked with Aaron Carter on a single and I kept bringing up how famous his brother was. I told him that it must be cool being related to a celebrity.

I was in a local bar/seafood place earlier this year and watched this dumb rube walk up to Dog the Bounty Hunter while he was at a table, mid-meal, and ask for a selfie. One of Dog's hoes was a real bitch about it, but Dog shut her right-the-fuck-up, then made her take the guys phone and snap a couple of pics of the two of them together. I bought a round of drinks for his table after that and he came over and thanked me, shook my hand, etc.

I tried to work with HR from Bad Brains on a project, but he is legit schizophrenic crazy. We accomplished nothing and I never heard from him again.

Ever worked with Mate’s Cartage in N. Hollywood? Maybe we’ve crossed paths.

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

Ever worked with Mate’s Cartage in N. Hollywood? Maybe we’ve crossed paths.

Nah, I'm in South FL

 

[Matt from Tinder]

Summer '06 at Navy Pier in Chicago, my dad and I went on a boat tour and as we were getting off our boat I see Norm from Cheers sitting on one of the boats about to leave. Didn't seem like anyone recognized him and I pointed him out to my dad who immediately yells, "Hey Norm, how's it going?!" at him. Somewhere at my parents' house is an undeveloped disposable camera with a picture I took of Norm from Cheers looking pissed at my dad for blowing up his spot.

After Cheers ended, Norm would get really bent out of shape and even walk out of interviews if people called him Norm. He eventually embraced it probably after he realized being Norm was the only thing he'd ever have going for him.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I tried to work with HR from Bad Brains on a project, but he is legit schizophrenic crazy. We accomplished nothing and I never heard from him again

Definitely gonna need details on this one

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

Definitely gonna need details on this one

Not really much to tell. He was supposed to drop vocals on a track I was working on with a reggae producer. He was an hour late, then when he finally showed up with his "handler" (which was just some dude - i guess a friend of his) he hadn't prepared anything. He could barely walk and he just rambled on about the bible or something in a barely coherent murmur. Eventually we were out of time and that was that. Nothing recorded.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Not really much to tell. He was supposed to drop vocals on a track I was working on with a reggae producer. He was an hour late, then when he finally showed up with his "handler" (which was just some dude - i guess a friend of his) he hadn't prepared anything. He could barely walk and he just rambled on about the bible or something in a barely coherent murmur. Eventually we were out of time and that was that. Nothing recorded.

That's hilarious. I remember hearing a voicemail message he left some band where he just kept repeating "kind love!" over and over again like a damn nut

 

[Calculating Bovinity]

I met David Liebe Hart, of Tim and Eric fame, briefly. I'm pretty sure he's Bobo-level of retarded where he's incapable of forming meaningful connections with people, and they exist purely to facilitate his basic wants and needs.

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

I met David Liebe Hart, of Tim and Eric fame, briefly. I'm pretty sure he's Bobo-level of retarded where he's incapable of forming meaningful connections with people, and they exist purely to facilitate his basic wants and needs.

He seems like such an odd dude. What happened when you met him?

 

[Calculating Bovinity]

He seems like such an odd dude. What happened when you met him?

Bought him a non-alcoholic drink at his request. He was interested the rail transport system we had in the city. Kind of aloof, but not aloof enough to not make sure he wasn't motherfucked out of his show money. He wasn't aggressive about it but at the time it did feel like he was pestering the organizer a little too much, but he's probably been screwed out of a paycheck before so who knows. Later on a drunk guy offered him a place to crash, don't know if he took him up.

Not an exciting story, he's just really autistic and likely mentally ill.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

I was in Times Square with my mom around 2002. She swore up and down that she saw Reuben Studdard (American Idol was yuuge at the time), but to this day I dont believe her. It was definitely just some random obese nigger. Couldve even been Patrice