🚨 BREAKING 🚨 Patrick says he will BEAT UP the BLACKLISTED Ethan Van Sciever

[stealthygeek]

Patrick's wild use of commas is still baffling. I doubt he could even explain his own unique rules.

The chemicals in his fat brain must tell him to just scatter them about. What in Christ's thick cock is he doing?

It's the literary version of his grilled cheese pistachios; just randomly sprinkle them everywhere to really class everything up.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Once again I will dox myself and meet Fat Pat in the ring for hand to hand combat with rules of his choosing provided he sign a contract that prevents him from crying “assault” after he loses and gets pink bellied.

Tough Guy Pat is his worst iteration. I’m not “an actual tough guy”, but I’d love nothing more than to introduce him to the reality of fighting. His delusions of “neutralizing” people “immediately” will be corrrrrected.

He speaks like someone thats never been near a fight. We know he’s all talk and full of shit but I can’t believe he says that kind of nonsense like “neutralize” and thinks anyone believes him. No “tough guy” has to tell everyone they’re tough.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

Patrick's wild use of commas is still baffling. I doubt he could even explain his own unique rules.

The chemicals in his fat brain must tell him to just scatter them about. What in Christ's thick cock is he doing?

He uses them to mark a pause in speech. Kids are usually taught that is not appropriate use in writing at a fairly early age but we've seen Fat's transcripts and obviously he didn't learn the lesson.

 

[Phish]

He speaks like someone thats never been near a fight. We know he’s all talk and full of shit but I can’t believe he says that kind of nonsense like “neutralize” and thinks anyone believes him. No “tough guy” has to tell everyone they’re tough.

Exactly. Anyone who has actually been ina fight and got smacked with a few good shots to the face knows street fighting fucking sucks. Even if you get the W. The last bar fight i got in a decently long time ago i smoked this wasted drunk guy with a wooden chair while he was still sitting down (he threw a beer at my table). Knocked em right the fuck out. Then his buddies snuck up and got me from behind. They got me back good. It was either 2 or 3 of them. Talk about feeling stupid, walking around with a glaring black eye at age 27 or whatever i was. My jaw hurt for a solid 2 weeks after and my shoulder was fucked up too. Even at 27 i was too old for that shit. Pat is over 40. Grow up you fat homo.

 

[EraGodless]

Found on Reddit r/cummingonfigurines





Someone on Twitter ask Ethan for a comment, as we all know he totally doesn't post here under the alt @Ethan P. Schulman

(It's true Jackie, tell everyone)

You called him a fat tub of shit and he didn't correct the record.

I'm shaking rn

 

[EraGodless]

He speaks like someone thats never been near a fight. We know he’s all talk and full of shit but I can’t believe he says that kind of nonsense like “neutralize” and thinks anyone believes him. No “tough guy” has to tell everyone they’re tough.

He talks about being in multiple bar fights. In my experience- you will eventually get jumped/get your ass kicked. You will be banned by most bars- even if you didn't start it. And, you will eventually catch a charge as the police are almost always near bars that are in popular areas. You can get away with some shit out in the sticks and at some sawdust joints, but Roadhouse is a movie and not real life.

Bars have to worry about liability and getting their liquor license yanked if it becomes a nuisance. Tough guys like Patrick are a nuisance.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

He talks about being in multiple bar fights. In my experience- you will eventually get jumped/get your ass kicked. You will be banned by most bars- even if you didn't start it. And, you will eventually catch a charge as the police are almost always near bars that are in popular areas. You can get away with some shit out in the sticks and at some sawdust joints, but Roadhouse is a movie and not real life.

Bars have to worry about liability and getting their liquor license yanked if it becomes a nuisance. Tough guys like Patrick are a nuisance.

Also the last thing a bar wants to be known as is a “rough” place where fights are common. No bar wants that kind of crowd and will make sure those types aren’t welcome. Plus we’ve seen Hooligans, it looks kind of like an Applebees so it’s pretty clear no fighting is going on. Plus nobody wants to hang out with “that guy” who starts trouble at bars when they go out. I remember seeing bar fights more when I was in college (young 21-22 year olds first time drinking in bars etc) but to brag about fighting in bars in your 40s isn’t cool - it’s fucking pathetic. It’s like Randy Marsh on the South Park little league episode.

 

[Stent]

He always has to explain that he would take someone down immediately. Did that Jap Zero pilot teach him some kind of secret karate on that fateful day? The five point trotter exploding heart technique?

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

He always has to explain that he would take someone down immediately. Did that Jap Zero pilot teach him some kind of secret karate on that fateful day? The five point trotter exploding heart technique?

I dont think pat has been popped in the mouth as an adult. Im disappointed it hasnt happened in the 5 years he has been documented.

 

[CompoundBasement]

I dont think pat has been popped in the mouth as an adult. Im disappointed it hasnt happened in the 5 years he has been documented.

In that audio we heard, he sounded like he was trying to bait and antagonize the cops into beating his ass, and was unsuccessful.

 

[guest]

Patrick falls for a fake EVS tweet, checks his Twitter to oink back and then gets pissed off
[URL='https://ibb.co/Kjn6Vyy']

[/URL]

‘You’re bad at literally everything’ Melodramatic queen.

 

[MasterPosHonor]

The last bar fight i got in a decently long time ago i smoked this wasted drunk guy with a wooden chair while he was still sitting down

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I

In that audio we heard, he sounded like he was trying to bait and antagonize the cops into beating his ass, and was unsuccessful.

I think that was a rough idea how he would handle a high stress situation like the build up to a fight. He would scream like a 4th grader that got his toy taken away hoping to entice a physical reaction so he can say " He hit me first" to the police. In a fight he would just turn red and say corny oneliners like a comic book villain through his gritted teeth. I bet a solid open hand slap would make him clutch his pearls.

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

He’s not afraid of anyone? I wonder what he would do if this guy demanded his wallet…

View attachment 124119

No muscular N****r, child. I will not let you have my Velcro cape hero wallet.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

He always has to explain that he would take someone down immediately. Did that Jap Zero pilot teach him some kind of secret karate on that fateful day? The five point trotter exploding heart technique?

It’s another example of him exposing himself. People who think they’re tough but have never actually been in a fight since grade school often seem to think like they know exactly what to do to end any fight without getting hit. I’d love to see the confusion and terror wash over him as his fat face got lit up with punches.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

I really wish EVS would bless us random drawings of his take on pat.

 

[MasterPosHonor]

He’s not afraid of anyone? I wonder what he would do if this guy demanded his wallet…

View attachment 124119

Gimme yo fiddy cent, brother.

 

[Meownaw]

Instantly? Is he implying he would shoot him?

 

[RickReternal]

Instantly? Is he implying he would shoot him?

That’s exactly what it sounds like to me. Pat has a CCW, right?

 

[MonsterSteve]

Can someone ask Rick what belt he is in BJJ and where he trained?