Bobby Kelly sucks and is ruining The Bonfire.

[turdstew]

I want to see Bobby above a bonfire with an apple in his mouth

 

[ScrotesMcgoats]

I like Bobby more than most of the NY comedians, but yeah, he’s not a good fit for the bonfire at all. They should have just started a new show but Sirius probably wouldn’t have been on board with that, rebranding. It would still stink though

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

I am going to keep this thread alive and post whenever Bobby is awful.

That's going to take up a lot of your time.

 

[Jack_Horner]

He sees himself as a "tech guy" but that apparently only means buying the latest Apple products and talking about how superior they are to everything else.

Back in the day, my GF at the time took me to meet her family. They lived in poverty like I've never seen in my life; I had no idea. One day we hung out with her grandparents. They lived in a "house", if you can call it that, THAT HAD DIRT FLOORS. Even a fucking mobile home has a FLOOR.

They were 70-something and chain smoked 24x7, the walls were yellow with nicotine, and the smell was so overwhelming, I kept walking outside to get fresh air. It was 100X worse than the oldest casino in Atlantic City.

I'm an I.T. dork, and she wanted me to "talk to her cousin about getting a job in I.T."
I met with the kid, and he was perfectly nice, but knew absolutely nothing about I.T. He'd never installed an operating system, knew nothing about hardware, couldn't fix a printer, couldn't even fix a phone. His only connection to "technology" was that he liked to play PS3 and he watched "The Big Bang Theory."

My Dogbrain of a girlfriend thought this was enough to get into I.T.

When I tried to (gently) tell her that he needed to put in some work first, she got mad at me and implied that I was a racist piece of shit. (Her Aunt was a big titty coal burner.)

 

[Jack_Horner]

"You know what dude? That reminds me of this time I was hitchhiking through the PNW and this small time sheriff started giving me shit. I gave him shit & his goons locked me up and tortured me a little bit. That was where they was fucked up: once they drew first blood, I fucked them up and waged a one man guerrilla war against them. It turned into a whole thing untill it was it was time for my set at the Capital Hill Comedy Club in Seattle."

It's over Johnny.

 

[BUBBLER]

Back in the day, my GF at the time took me to meet her family. They lived in poverty like I've never seen in my life; I had no idea. One day we hung out with her grandparents. They lived in a "house", if you can call it that, THAT HAD DIRT FLOORS. Even a fucking mobile home has a FLOOR.

They were 70-something and chain smoked 24x7, the walls were yellow with nicotine, and the smell was so overwhelming, I kept walking outside to get fresh air. It was 100X worse than the oldest casino in Atlantic City.

I'm an I.T. dork, and she wanted me to "talk to her cousin about getting a job in I.T."
I met with the kid, and he was perfectly nice, but knew absolutely nothing about I.T. He'd never installed an operating system, knew nothing about hardware, couldn't fix a printer, couldn't even fix a phone. His only connection to "technology" was that he liked to play PS3 and he watched "The Big Bang Theory."

My Dogbrain of a girlfriend thought this was enough to get into I.T.

When I tried to (gently) tell her that he needed to put in some work first, she got mad at me and implied that I was a racist piece of shit. (Her Aunt was a big titty coal burner.)

Was she white? Where was this “house”?

 

[Queefer Sutherland]

Jay's hole and his constant cock talk are even worse. It's why Dan left in the first place.

 

[whyarewedoingthisagain_mybb]

Back in the day, my GF at the time took me to meet her family. They lived in poverty like I've never seen in my life; I had no idea. One day we hung out with her grandparents. They lived in a "house", if you can call it that, THAT HAD DIRT FLOORS. Even a fucking mobile home has a FLOOR.

They were 70-something and chain smoked 24x7, the walls were yellow with nicotine, and the smell was so overwhelming, I kept walking outside to get fresh air. It was 100X worse than the oldest casino in Atlantic City.

I'm an I.T. dork, and she wanted me to "talk to her cousin about getting a job in I.T."
I met with the kid, and he was perfectly nice, but knew absolutely nothing about I.T. He'd never installed an operating system, knew nothing about hardware, couldn't fix a printer, couldn't even fix a phone. His only connection to "technology" was that he liked to play PS3 and he watched "The Big Bang Theory."

My Dogbrain of a girlfriend thought this was enough to get into I.T.

When I tried to (gently) tell her that he needed to put in some work first, she got mad at me and implied that I was a racist piece of shit. (Her Aunt was a big titty coal burner.)

 

[PogromStallone]

Let's not forget when Dan finally returned to the show, something listeners had been waiting forever for to get some actual comedy, and they spent the entire episode talking about Bobby's farts and watching porn.

Another reason he thinks Apple is better is because anyone can make apps for Android. That is somehow a bad thing.

And it can not be understated how much he lies about everything. It's not even something with a punchline, it's just so he'll get the attention of everyone in the room. You can hear him pause as he tells all these stories as he is trying to make up the next part.

Whenever someone has a story, he always has a similar one that can top it.

"My friend once slept with a girl and she cooked for him afterwards but he didn't want anything serious."
Bobby chimes in with his retard lies: "Yeah, well I once fucked this smoooookin' haaaawt chick and I made her go get Burger King for me before I would fuck her, she was begging for it dude, then afterwards I just left and never saw her again."

Odd how he has been with his wife for so long yet has an infinite number of stories of him sleeping with "smoookin' haaawt chicks".

Disgusting how he just has his dogs shit in his yard and then never even picks it up.

Max having his own game room only shows how spoiled he is, they treat that kid like he is a sultan.

 

[1950'sSpaceProgram]

Blawby was only ever good as a punching bag (ya big faaat piiiiiiiig), never liked him as a "lead mic".

 

[PogromStallone]

Blawby was only ever good as a punching bag (ya big faaat piiiiiiiig), never liked him as a "lead mic".

After the end of OnA he positioned himself as some elder sage of comedy that's there to help younger comedians but he gets terribly insecure and pissy whenever someone is funnier than him, you need only look at Shane Gillis' first episode of YKWD as proof.

 

[ElectricLightKazooII]

I wonder how big his stupid son is to have such heinous shits.

 

[RealTonySchiavone]

And it can not be understated how much he lies about everything. It's not even something with a punchline, it's just so he'll get the attention of everyone in the room. You can hear him pause as he tells all these stories as he is trying to make up the next part.

The one that always comes to mind for me is when they were talking about Joe Derosa being into older women. Joe said the oldest woman he had been with was in her early 50's, and Blob jumps in to say he'd been with a 75 year old. Guess he couldn't stand Derosa getting all the attention.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I wonder how big his stupid son is to have such heinous shits.

He's apparently a big kid but he's a whiney fruit to an extent that would've got me beaten. He literally called Bobby during the show, Bobby picked up because he assumed it was an emergency and the kid proceeded to whine - literally like a little girl - about how his mom is a cunt for making him do homework. When Bobby said he's in the middle of the show, the kid repeatedly said "I don't care." Also the only one who reprimanded the kid for shit-talking his mom was Jay, not Bobby. Bobby is the kind of guy who calls his son "sweetheart". Bobby never told the little bitch to go do his fucking homework either. The call ended with him assuring the kid "I'll talk to her." His kid alpha'd him on the air by whining like a girl.

 

[lowend73]

The difference in humor can be shown by;

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'm listening to one from last week. It's been brewing for a while and I'm pretty sure Jacob is going to for real snap on Jay eventually. He seems annoyed by Bobby most of the time but I think he's starting to genuinely dislike Jay like Dan was.

They started out by letting Jacob vent his frustration that they emasculated him in front of a guest and that shit bothers him because he's not a comic and shouldn't be expected to have a witty banter with someone who just singled him out in front of a stranger. They acted like they were just going to hear him out and then Jay turned it into a full blown argument about the thermostat. Jacob called him on it too. He was like "We weren't even talking about that, I just watched you look around the room for something to go off on me about." It's been 40 minutes of this and they're pretty heated at this point. Jay just earnestly said that Jacob should just go back to doing the show from Florida.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Oh, another thing, Jay's been having that FAGGOT wigger Dylan kid that worked at GaS Digital (who is unanimously detested by all) get on the mic lately because Jay pays the kid to follow him around and record him.

 

[Sheeeeiiit]

Blobby Kelly has never been funny except for being a target. I genuinely believe the comedians from the cellar felt sorry for him and let him hang around their clique cause he'd probably kill himself if he realised that he'll never be funny. Even on tough crowd he would just scream and stand up and rinse repeat. He's also stupid ''he past'' and the stupid off with rich and the young female negress showed its no act. When he drops from stroke there will be no outpouring of respect or stories where was funny, it'll be ''i broke my knee man'' clips on twitter for a couple of hours at best. he once compered himself to tony soprano on TACS and even Anthony 'I've sucked cocks' Cumstain looked at him with disgust, i wish i had the clip. In summary i dont like him and he stinks.

 

[ElectricLightKazooII]

He's apparently a big kid but he's a whiney fruit to an extent that would've got me beaten. He literally called Bobby during the show, Bobby picked up because he assumed it was an emergency and the kid proceeded to whine - literally like a little girl - about how his mom is a cunt for making him do homework. When Bobby said he's in the middle of the show, the kid repeatedly said "I don't care." Also the only one who reprimanded the kid for shit-talking his mom was Jay, not Bobby. Bobby is the kind of guy who calls his son "sweetheart". Bobby never told the little bitch to go do his fucking homework either. The call ended with him assuring the kid "I'll talk to her." His kid alpha'd him on the air by whining like a girl.

 

[PogromStallone]

I'm listening to one from last week. It's been brewing for a while and I'm pretty sure Jacob is going to for real snap on Jay eventually. He seems annoyed by Bobby most of the time but I think he's starting to genuinely dislike Jay like Dan was.

They started out by letting Jacob vent his frustration that they emasculated him in front of a guest and that shit bothers him because he's not a comic and shouldn't be expected to have a witty banter with someone who just singled him out in front of a stranger. They acted like they were just going to hear him out and then Jay turned it into a full blown argument about the thermostat. Jacob called him on it too. He was like "We weren't even talking about that, I just watched you look around the room for something to go off on me about." It's been 40 minutes of this and they're pretty heated at this point. Jay just earnestly said that Jacob should just go back to doing the show from Florida.

The thermostat argument is mad. Jay complaining that Jacob makes it too hot and that he needs it cold when he's wearing a hoodie and gloves indoors.