Annoying shit your old lady does

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

Brothermen who are married or are in in long term relationships, what’s something your old lady does that makes you want to belt her?

For example, mine will call me in the middle of a workday and interrupt me while I’m doing my job to spend 10 - 15 minutes pissing in my ear about something that happened to her at work. Many times she will talk for several minutes uninterrupted without hardly taking a breath. Then after I think she’s done I will either begin to respond to her or try to tell her something about my day and then abruptly she’ll cop an attitude and go OK I CANT TALK RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO GO and hang up on me, as though I’m being really inconsiderate and interrupting her day. Dumb bitch, you were the one who called ME. That sort of shit makes me want to shove my fist directly into her breadbasket and watch her gasp for air on the floor.

Anyways, what’s something your old lady does that makes you want to slap the piss out of her?



@gassers please do not respond to this thread

 

[Dennyislife]

I'm in a casual new relationship. She wants to spend more time with me. Yucky.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Women being incapable of doing anything at any less than maximum volume pisses me off. Every woman I've lived with does it. If they're doing dishes it sounds like they're just smashing stacks of plates off the ground. Can't close a cupboard door without slamming it shut. They can weigh 90 lbs and every step they take shakes the whole house obnoxiously. I always think they're doing it in some pissy passive aggressive way but then I'll be like "are you mad about something?" And they'll be like "no, why?" Completely oblivious. You know what I've never done in my entire life? Slammed a toilet seat lid closed. Women are apparently incapable of doing it gently.

 

[Africa.com]

Worst storyteller ever. By the time she has told me the actual story I have 500% more backstory and context than I need.

Doubling tripling etc messages. I'll be at work and Siri will alert me to new messages for 30-60 seconds. New message.. and new message...and new message... and new message.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

I'm in a casual new relationship. She wants to spend more time with me. Yucky.

If you’re spending time together like that it’s not casual. You got caught slippin and now this bitch thinks she’s got you on the hook. Show her who runs the show.. take her out to a nice dinner and then say there’s an emergency and leave before the entrees arrive. When she calls you later to ask what happened act confused at first like you have no idea what she’s talking about and then go oh right.. it was nothing don’t worry about it. Women love being made to feel unimportant it makes them horny and self conscious.

If they feel bad about themselves, you win. And then she’ll know shes not #1 gal

 

[Dennyislife]

Women being incapable of doing anything at any less than maximum volume pisses me off. Every woman I've lived with does it. If they're doing dishes it sounds like they're just smashing stacks of plates off the ground. Can't close a cupboard door without slamming it shut. They can weigh 90 lbs and every step they take shakes the whole house obnoxiously. I always think they're doing it in some pissy passive aggressive way but then I'll be like "are you mad about something?" And they'll be like "no, why?" Completely oblivious. You know what I've never done in my entire life? Slammed a toilet seat lid closed. Women are apparently incapable of doing it gently.

I split with someone because she would slam the front door all the fucking time so much that I could feel the house shake if I was upstairs she wasn't even doing it in a bad mood type way just a fucking inconsiderate dickhead

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

Worst storyteller ever. By the time she has told me the actual story I have 500% more backstory and context than I need.

Doubling tripling etc messages. I'll be at work and Siri will alert me to new messages for 30-60 seconds. New message.. and new message...and new message... and new message.

Had an ex that would send like 5 words per text, and send 2 dozen texts in a row for really unimportant bullshit. She was FURIOUS when I told her that was annoying. She's like 'would you like an email instead?' I said 'yeah, actually that would be good'. Didn't help the situation.

 

[Africa.com]

Had an ex that would send like 5 words per text, and send 2 dozen texts in a row for really unimportant bullshit. She was FURIOUS when I told her that was annoying. She's like 'would you like an email instead?' I said 'yeah, actually that would be good'. Didn't help the situation.

One of my exes used to always send texts after she knew I was in bed too, in the manner you described

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

One of my exes used to always send texts after she knew I was in bed too, in the manner you described

The ex I mentioned was an artist (unemployed obviously) and had all day to send that bullshit while I was at work, actually doing things and it was just notification after notification. INFURIATING.

 

[Zombie247]

She waffles on too much.

 

[WifeStoreWill]

I could write a million things but here’s a few

1. Continue to argue a point after I’ve conceded it

2. Ask me what I want and then question me when I give a straight answer

3. When I ask her what she wants, gives me a list of her options instead of saying what it is that she wants.

4. Doing things that are obviously retarded that she obviously knows couldn’t possibly work being that she isn’t actually a retard and is very smart. For example, she’s done this multiple times and I’ve discussed with her multiple times: waits too long to decide what we’re having for dinner, then takes some frozen meat out of the freezer at 5pm and put it on the countertop as if that will somehow magically thaw itself in time to cook tonight. You’re a smart person, you’re literally a surgeon. Why do you think frozen meat will be thaw in an hour or two? Especially when we’ve had this exact conversation a dozen times before?

5. Completely make something up that I never said and then argue with me about it

6. Mishear something that I said and then argue with me about it even after I explain what I actually said was completely different than what you heard.

7. Act like extremely easy things are difficult or time consuming. I’ll ask her to send an email to someone for some reason and she’ll put it off for days or act like this is something on her to-do list that is causing her stress when it could have been done in 30 seconds.

 

[Africa.com]

The ex I mentioned was an artist (unemployed obviously) and had all day to send that bullshit while I was at work, actually doing things and it was just notification after notification. INFURIATING.

Women do not understand how quickly their behavior can turn The Shining from a horror movie into a fantasy

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

My dad is a huge Nascar fan. I watched my parents get into a huge blowup fight every single Nascar Sunday growing up and it was always 100% my mom starting it for no reason other than she couldn't bear to see my dad relaxed and content. He was a firefighter and the only time I remember really seeing him do nothing is when he was watching Nascar.

My dad would put the race on and plant himself in his chair, he'd drift in and out of sleep and all he wanted was to be left alone. My mother would see this and decide that midway through the race, the floor in the living room needed to be vacuumed right that instant and it's imperative. It would escalate into a screaming match and then my dad would end up taking me to my grandparents and he'd watch the rest of the race there. He'd bring me because if he left me at home, my mom would take her pointless rage out on me and give me a bunch of pointless chores to do.

I honestly don't know how he never beat her. I would've. She'd ruin his one thing on purpose just because. It actually has me boiling thinking about it. Just to put it into perspective, every Sunday morning my mom would watch Coronation Street (which everyone else in the house hated) for like 3 uninterrupted hours in her pajamas. But when Nascar started she'd go full "why is nobody doing anything?" psychotic. If I had to deal with what my old man was dealing with on any given day and then had to deal with that I would've absolutely snapped and hit her.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

One of my exes used to always send texts after she knew I was in bed too, in the manner you described

It's called "Do not disturb" mode

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

I could write a million things but here’s a few

1. Continue to argue a point after I’ve conceded it

2. Ask me what I want and then question me when I give a straight answer

3. When I ask her what she wants, gives me a list of her options instead of saying what it is that she wants.

4. Doing things that are obviously retarded that she obviously knows couldn’t possibly work being that she isn’t actually a retard and is very smart. For example, she’s done this multiple times and I’ve discussed with her multiple times: waits too long to decide what we’re having for dinner, then takes some frozen meat out of the freezer at 5pm and put it on the countertop as if that will somehow magically thaw itself in time to cook tonight. You’re a smart person, you’re literally a surgeon. Why do you think frozen meat will be thaw in an hour or two? Especially when we’ve had this exact conversation a dozen times before?

5. Completely make something up that I never said and then argue with me about it

6. Mishear something that I said and then argue with me about it even after I explain what I actually said was completely different than what you heard.

7. Act like extremely easy things are difficult or time consuming. I’ll ask her to send an email to someone for some reason and she’ll put it off for days or act like this is something on her to-do list that is causing her stress when it could have been done in 30 seconds.

How effective is pulling out the cancer card?

 

[Easily_Remembered]

She enticed me. ( Show reference, Dan).

But really, when we get home in the evening, she'll regale me with long, boring, badly told antecdotes about things that happened at work. For hours, she'll do this.

First of all, I don't know these people you work with, so these stories mean nothing to me. Secondly, I never bring home work stories - work shit should stay at the workplace. Purriod. I don't bore you with my work stories, so why I gotta hear yours?

Her and her co-workers are also in a group chat, so even after work they're talking, and I gotta be kept abreast of who said what.

That's another thing I hate. She'll ask me to put on a movie or something, and once I do, she spends the duration of the movie on her phone, either in the group chat, scrolling social media, or playing some mobile game. So what was the fucking point of me putting on the damn movie?

 

[Petworth dude]

She snores in her sleep. I can usually fall back asleep, though.

 

[Rutherford_b_Blaze]

I'm in a casual new relationship. She wants to spend more time with me. Yucky.

Are ya?
Does she?

 

[WifeStoreWill]

How effective is pulling out the cancer card?

First of all that’s pussy shit and I wouldn’t do it for anything other than actual related medical stuff that I need.

But also I’m never going to be able to pull it with her because she’s been incredibly helpful throughout. I’m not sure how normal non-doctors are able to figure all this shit out and navigate it.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

She couldn't get to the goddamned point if her life depended it. A simple anecdote has to involve layers of introducing people and exposition about where they're from and other shit i hate