WWAW jerking off on your wife/SO while they sleep

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Fawk Abe once again with the wyzzdom

Nice avatar btw

@Raymond made that for me. Hail Big Wyyz.

Finally, some actually good dad advice from you

Usually when I ask you for life advice you just make me re-watch a movie of yours or an interview. Then you just turn to me and go “any questions”

And if I ever have a question, you just sigh and put in another VHS

I've seen the dopesick skanks you bring around. They're used to being jizzed on for a place to sleep anyway. But tonight when you get home from Panera we're gonna watch select clips from Joe Versus the Volcano and you're going to write me an essay on what you learned about sex, love and consent.

Also, where the fuck did you put Joyomi's Tessio Funko Pop? He's freaking out. I've had to have him in his outdoor enclosure all day because he kept biting me when I tried to comfort him. Now he's out there biting his hands. These little pranks aren't funny anymore, Vance. He's bleeding. YOUR BROTHER IS BLEEDING, VANCE.

 

[Upton Baby Sinclair]

Oh c'mon, Vigoda. Like you never jacked it on a broad while she slept without askin.

Ain’t that the perk of being a ghost? WWAWD Slimer?

 

[Harry Powell]

Hey, not to sound like a pussy here, fellas, but you should probably clear that with the gals you're jacking off onto first.

Chances are, if you're married she's not gonna care, but in the off chance it does bother her, that's something that could come up in divorce proceedings that doesn't make you look great. Sometimes, there's things that you can suggest and they'll be like "yeah, that sounds hot" but if you just go for, it'll freak them out and maybe make them see you in a whole new light.

faggot

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

faggot

Don't you ever fucking sass me, Kilmer.

 

[guest]

Hey, not to sound like a pussy here, fellas, but you should probably clear that with the gals you're jacking off onto first.

Chances are, if you're married she's not gonna care, but in the off chance it does bother her, that's something that could come up in divorce proceedings that doesn't make you look great. Sometimes, there's things that you can suggest and they'll be like "yeah, that sounds hot" but if you just go for, it'll freak them out and maybe make them see you in a whole new light.

I’m with you on checking first but I wouldn’t worry about what someone may say in divorce later on. They say all kinds of made up shit anyways so who cares?

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

Every woman I've ever been with has eventually caught me beating off to porn on the couch instead of just fucking them. Because sometimes I just want to cum and don't feel like putting in like half an hour of physical labour.

30 minutes? Bro, if it takes you that long you need to cut back on the booze a bit. I’m in and out in 10 minutes, and my wife still comes 5 times. Haha jk I have no idea if she came cuz I don’t ask and I don’t care. Pleasing women is for faggots

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

OK Louis CK, calm down. But seriously, I usually just put her sleepy hand on my throbbing cock but your method probably helps her remain more rested.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

OK Louis CK, calm down. But seriously, I usually just put her sleepy hand on my throbbing cock but your method probably helps her remain more rested.

I’m nothing else if not a gentleman

 

[Joe_Cumia_Eats_HUMAN_SHIT]

I once knew this sleazy but fuckable girl that wanted me to put it in her ass while she slept. I bailed on the idea because I figured she'd accuse me of rape or something. And wwaw the anal?

 

[Stent]

I had a girlfriend tell me not to jerk off but to wake her up no matter what time it was. Stupid bitch was a nurse. What am I going to do when you're working at night? Come down to the hospital?

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Hey, not to sound like a pussy here, fellas, but you should probably clear that with the gals you're jacking off onto first.

Chances are, if you're married she's not gonna care, but in the off chance it does bother her, that's something that could come up in divorce proceedings that doesn't make you look great. Sometimes, there's things that you can suggest and they'll be like "yeah, that sounds hot" but if you just go for, it'll freak them out and maybe make them see you in a whole new light.

You sound like a faggot. But you're probably right.

Maybe I'm a faggot, too.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

I had a girlfriend tell me not to jerk off but to wake her up no matter what time it was. Stupid bitch was a nurse. What am I going to do when you're working at night? Come down to the hospital?

Yes!

 

[Stent]

Yes!

You wouldn't even go for a busted wing let alone to bust a nut.

 

[Upton Baby Sinclair]

I had a girlfriend tell me not to jerk off but to wake her up no matter what time it was. Stupid bitch was a nurse. What am I going to do when you're working at night? Come down to the hospital?

Was it cool having your own personal bedpan wiper at least? Bet she learned a lot of cool dances at work.

 

[Stent]

Was it cool having your own personal bedpan wiper at least? Bet she learned a lot of cool dances at work.

This was before nurses were brave heroes. They were always complete retards though.

 

[guest]

This was before nurses were brave heroes. They were always complete retards though.

Fucking A.

Other than the very few legit, high level surgical ones, nurses have to be amongst the most uppity group of morons around.

Anyone who tells you they’re a “health care worker” and is trying to give you serious medical advice is some dopey asswiper who spent 18 months in community college night school learning to take temperatures and blood pressure. Just because they watch actual doctors do shit all day and have picked up on some patterns they feel like they can do the same thing themselves without all that pesky “education” and “intellect”.

Newsflash Sharkeisha, doctors are there for the 5% of times when shit goes south and you actually have to know what’s going on, not for the 95% of the time when shit is easy and they let you handle it. Now go and get your fucking shine box.

 

[1073waaf]

Show us your wife’s dumper.

 

[MilwaukeeStrangler]

Show us your wife’s dumper.

Or else.

 

[Stent]

Fucking A.

Other than the very few legit, high level surgical ones, nurses have to be amongst the most uppity group of morons around.

Anyone who tells you they’re a “health care worker” and is trying to give you serious medical advice is some dopey asswiper who spent 18 months in community college night school learning to take temperatures and blood pressure. Just because they watch actual doctors do shit all day and have picked up on some patterns they feel like they can do the same thing themselves without all that pesky “education” and “intellect”.

Newsflash Sharkeisha, doctors are there for the 5% of times when shit goes south and you actually have to know what’s going on, not for the 95% of the time when shit is easy and they let you handle it. Now go and get your fucking shine box.

Nursing is one of those professions that is all over the place. I've met plenty who were highly educated, professional, and sharp, well-trained people. There's also plenty who are smart, really good at what they do, with long hours and absolute dedication for pay that sucks.

Then there's a bunch of borderline dummies who manage to get qualified and are barely competent. Below them there's complete fuckwits who invariably end up going to work in run-down old folks homes after a couple of years being dangerously incompetent, lazy or outright criminal.

 

[Former Prez Gerald Ford]

Show us your wife’s dumper.