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Wrote a set list today

G

guest

Guest
This is his big plan to keep getting Niki's mom to pay for his "creativity" so he doesn't have to get a real job. He probably oinked away at how popular his tweets were and how easy it would be to start a standup career by simply saying them on stage. But in the meantime, before he's headlining comedy clubs, Niki's mom can keep paying him to slouch around all day saying "bzzt wrong" to people on twitter. You know, to expand his brand.
I'm Richard Pryor in his prime, child.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
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260,073
This will be his entire set since he’s been home alone for years and doesn’t know how to relate to actual adults. In his mind everyone deals with trolls that prevent them from their insane tweeting. In his stupid mind he’s fighting Nazi’s and other evils while being unemployed on a couch. His life is a dying social media platform, child.
The funniest thing he could say is that craigslist pepperoni ad story and that wont even be his own made up joke. He would just be telling the story of some rascals actual joke. He would probably be mad because the crowd would be laughing in the wrong places.
 

ThePepsiColaRapist

Dan doesn’t have a penis. I. Do.
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19,247
Anyone can write a setlist faggot

1. Half-Hovel
2. Meatloaf
3. German Sweater
4. Gay Motorcycle
5. Pussy farts

See?

You need to write jokes, Rick. Funny, engaging, unexpected and original jokes.
I had an idea for a screenplay when I was 20, but I don't call myself a screenwriter.
Do the work, you lazy sow.
 

AwfulManTitTankTop

"AnTi-swaTTing laws"
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19,145
(Get up on stage and go to chug a beer but fuck it up, leaving stains on pandering political shirt)

1.) "So who else is vaccinated!?!??!" Easy applause break that can very easily go left.

2.) Trump

3.) Psychotic and disconcerting tirade about his ex wife and the man that took her from him wherein he's the victim yet still comes across as unhinged to the silent audience.

4.) Trump Revisited

5.) Half assed covid joke that he'll use to segue into a "JusT working the kinks ouT, I'm a biT rusTy afTer quaranTine..."

Leaves stage.
 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
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233,451
The funniest thing he could say is that craigslist pepperoni ad story and that wont even be his own made up joke. He would just be telling the story of some rascals actual joke. He would probably be mad because the crowd would be laughing in the wrong places.
It would be amazing for him to describe our “crimes” only to have social media (KF farms especially) laugh at our antics and have him freak out.
 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
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233,451
His “set list” would generate zero actual laughs, it would be the awkward golf clap type laughs people give at shit comedy clubs. Pats whole set wound be crying about Nazi’s, stale Trump jokes (hasn’t been President in over 6 months) and telling the crowd they need to fight fascists while Pat is suing the Internet for calling him a fat idiot. If he wanted laughs he would tell the crowd about how he is suing the Internet and his wife leaving him because he’s a wimp pussy.
 

Slackjawed Cow

I laugh at them because they're all the same.
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260,073
No... I hope this doesn't open the door for a Patso redemption arc. If he went up there Hannah Gadsby style and just told real stories - just read real Twitter exchanges - about these shenanigans to packed audiences all laughing uproariously and Problem Child became a Netflix special, I'd respect him. I would.
That would be deep. Pat not being a funny person but reading troll pranks that pat doesnt actually think are funny at a comedy show because everyone but him would find the pranks funny. Making a whole crowd laugh at him and not with him. Thus proving we are funnier than he could ever be. Lots of layers
 

IGotATreeOnMyHouse85

Stand Alone Fruit
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233,451
That would be deep. Pat not being a funny person but reading troll pranks that pat doesnt actually think are funny at a comedy show because everyone but him would find the pranks funny. Making a whole crowd laugh at him and not with him. Thus proving we are funnier than he could ever be. Lots of layers
Pat wouldn’t be able to handle a crowd laughing at him. It’s like years ago when Colbert lost his shit over his audience not reacting the way he wanted them to over the current Jim Comey news. Even Colbert fans couldn’t keep up with who they’re supposed to love/hate that week (Comey was loved one day over being against Trump but hated the next over the Clinton investigation) and Colbert freaked out and told his audience how theyre supposed to respond to his awful monologue material. That day Colbert became the man with the most punchable face in America.
 

AntSucks

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
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20,607
Hey Pat, let me introduce you to a religious fundamentalist. This is him after a religious ceremony where they transfered his soul from one body to another.


star-trek-3-the-search-for-spock.jpg
#

Here's another religious fundamentalist. His name is Worf and he failed to report for duty because he was busy summoning a vision of Klingon Jesus

rightfulheir009.jpg
 

Mr-Wrinkle-Paws

My name's Henry. And you're here with me now
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56,400
His “set list” would generate zero actual laughs, it would be the awkward golf clap type laughs people give at shit comedy clubs. Pats whole set wound be crying about Nazi’s, stale Trump jokes (hasn’t been President in over 6 months) and telling the crowd they need to fight fascists while Pat is suing the Internet for calling him a fat idiot. If he wanted laughs he would tell the crowd about how he is suing the Internet and his wife leaving him because he’s a wimp pussy.
They could give him sympathy claps after they notice something is "off" about him, it would same as the retard getting the football then running to get a touchdown
 
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