Worst chicks you've dated

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Chick who took everything literally. Couldn't fucking joke about anything because it was all serious to her. I sent her the Rico Suave video and said, "this guy is pretty much me lol":

[MEDIA=youtube]o8_f3kJOX_8[/MEDIA]

She replied with "umm.... you're not latin.... and you're a gigolo? wtf?"

I just sat there staring at her response like

89480E49-875F-4677-AB6E-5995FC832CD1.jpeg



Another "chick" that pisses me off thinking about... didn't like walking anywhere. We were on a fucking island resort and I wanted to walk down a grassy hill to the seaside, but she was afraid of walking down such a steep hill. I thought she was fucking joking, but she was adamant about not walking down it, she wanted to find some stairs.

Then I wanted to walk to the other side of the island, which was a 40 minute walk. A beautiful fucking walk, mind you. Literally the most beautiful path by the beach I've even seen, but she was complaining the whole time. "When are we going to get there? When?" like a fucking kid. I repeatedly said it's not the destination, but the journey, and how can she not look around and be amazed by the island? She didn't give a fuck. Infuriating.
 

TheGhostOfAbeVigoda

Pud In, Pud Out
I was gonna say the one that stabbed me but I also dated a chick who had no sense of humor. It sucked. We were like a pair of autists who couldn't read eachother so I eventually just stopped trying. One time she randomly said "I feel like you hate me a lot of the time." Which I didn't, but I constantly had funny, mean words burning holes through my lips and couldn't say them. The only reason we stayed together for so long was that her son liked me a lot.
 

Jims_Maroon_Pants

Felony Shitter
I never had extreme crazy broads, don't get me wrong I've had some weirdos but pretty stereotypical. For instance, I dated a Puerto Rican and surprise surprise she was a little nutty and a little bit jealous but she was easily the great lay. The wackiest girl I've dated was a Greek girl in Greece who is clearly anorexic, who never went to the beach I never saw in a bathing suit and we only had sex under the covers or mostly clothed. Her hair was so dry like kindling or bird's nest kind of like Anthony's hair because she clearly wasn't getting enough nutrients. Having said all that she was still good looking if she was about 20 lb heavier she be a dime piece
 

Dog Eater

Apartheid is cool.
Another "chick" that pisses me off thinking about... didn't like walking anywhere. We were on a fucking island resort and I wanted to walk down a grassy hill to the seaside, but she was afraid of walking down such a steep hill. I thought she was fucking joking, but she was adamant about not walking down it, she wanted to find some stairs.

Then I wanted to walk to the other side of the island, which was a 40 minute walk. A beautiful fucking walk, mind you. Literally the most beautiful path by the beach I've even seen, but she was complaining the whole time. "When are we going to get there? When?" like a fucking kid. I repeatedly said it's not the destination, but the journey, and how can she not look around and be amazed by the island? She didn't give a fuck. Infuriating.
This made me angry just reading it. I dated this girl who refused to try any new food to the extent that she wouldn’t eat cheese because she’d never eaten it growing up. Fuck that cow.
 
This made me angry just reading it. I dated this girl who refused to try any new food to the extent that she wouldn’t eat cheese because she’d never eaten it growing up. Fuck that cow.
Picky eaters are the worst.
I dated a girl in college briefly, and I found out a decade later that she was in jail for having sex with students.
A picky eater would piss me off more though.
 
I had a brief thing with a cryer, and it was awful. Bitch cried all the time, over everything. "My grandma would have been 89 1/2 today", shit like that. She had a psychotic alcoholic mother too, and she'd call me at one in the morning, sobbing because her mom fell off the wagon again. I just more or less ghosted her, and she sent me a bunch of 5,000 word emails, which I just began ignoring after a while.
 

JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS

DMANIAC
I’ve never dated a girl who was bad, just they were all kind of similar in a lot of ways. Overly emotional, terrible sense of humor, extremely sensitive to words and tone, afraid to take risks, resentful, shitty taste in everything, wants to be praised for meeting expectations. Standard shit

The worst one I dated is probably the natural skank. I was pretty conservative even back then (I was 20 or so) so she was outside the normal type of girl I went for.

She was a reasonably nice, but resoundingly skanky girl. It wasn’t a learned thing either, she was a skank at her core. Her parents were divorced and her mother remarried some rich older guy. He actually pulled me aside one day and told me they were both retarded.

Anyways, she was always searching for a guy to love her so she’d flirt with (and I assume fuck) anyone, anywhere, regardless of who was around. So after about a month of being a literal cuckold, I finally flipped out on her and she wasn’t even sure what I was even mad about.

I realized then that she was such a deep down skank that she would have to overcome her natural whore tendencies for me to hang around, and she didn’t even have the introspective capacity to recognize she was a deep down skank. I stopped talking to her and that was it.

I later found out she had a 3 way with another girl I knew. That was the only time I regretted my decision.
 

Wa4892

The worst thing I ever had a girl say to me during a breakup was:

I'd rather be alone than be in a relationship with you.

That was in 1990. Four years later I was married (to a different woman ....... just to be clear), and the last I heard from a mutual friend was 'I'd rather be alone girl' has been and still is indeed alone and recently, at the tender age of 55, deleted all her dating app profiles.

She's deleting dating apps and I just celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary. In my book, that's a win for me.
 

NortheastPhilly

Shock Jock
I had a brief thing with a cryer, and it was awful. Bitch cried all the time, over everything. "My grandma would have been 89 1/2 today", shit like that. She had a psychotic alcoholic mother too, and she'd call me at one in the morning, sobbing because her mom fell off the wagon again. I just more or less ghosted her, and she sent me a bunch of 5,000 word emails, which I just began ignoring after a while.
I dated a girl that bawled her eyes out at the drop of a hat. Was exhausting.
Would do things like text me “Who’s your favorite princess?” and I’d name an actual Disney princess then she’d respond “You were supposed to say me 😭 😭” and guilt trip me.

She was nice, just seemed to have some sort of severe attachment disorder
 

Wa4892

The taking everything literally really is the worst. Back in the day, when you had to pay for long distance phone calls, if you dated someone who lived more than 3 towns away, talking on the phone was expensive! Having someone pout in silence for ten minutes because they took some joke hyper-personally was just infuriating.
 

Harry Powell

You’re the girl I needed in jr. high
Raging borderline personality disorder girl. Would swing her fists violently at me when she was pissed. Eventually snapped and decked her in the face at a red light.

For whatever reason I still have some small amount of affection for my old borderline girlfriend. While she was completely insane and a total pain in the ass, the honeymoon phase of that relationship was also the most intense emotional experience I ever had.

That being said one time she jumped onto the passenger side of my old ford explorer (clinging to the side view mirror) and wouldn’t get off.

I pulled over and had to physically remove her at which point she started swinging the fists, fine, whatever, but when I grabbed both of her wrists she fucking bit into my right trap like a vampire to the point it drew blood. She also ripped my nice Polo shirt.

This memory has me at half mast.
 

Jesse Ventura

Access to the debates
In high school/just after I dated a girl and it lasted about 4 years altogether. She always talked about “when we have kids”, and we were still teens. I got her pregnant, whoops. Anyway I was terrified, expected her to have the kid, steeled myself for that inevitability and then she showed up one day and was like “I got an abortion”. I was pretty hurt that she didn’t tell me she was doing that and also how she talked for years about “when we have kids” then axes the thing without telling me.

Anyway, I checked out of the relationship mentally and told her it was over. She then did some shit to her neck and started telling her family I choked her. Her dad didn’t believe her for a second but her mom did. Somehow she had mostly hidden these type of histrionics during our time together but I guess the pregnancy hormones/abortion/dumping brought it out of her. Awful situation.



In university I dated a weird art school girl for a while. She was a nice person in most ways but was also a total narcissist. She could shit in my cornflakes and would come up with a reason why it’s my fault and why she needs an apology. I’m a stubborn old mule so I never would apologize unless I was actually in the wrong, so we’d be in this endless cycle of fighting/arguing. She also was a into occult/alien type shit as well. She once told me her brother and his wife saw ghosts in their house and I said fuck outta here with that shit. Immediately after this convo she goes into my bedroom to sleep while I’m on the couch, comes back out and is putting on some art school girl show like she’s startled and shocked and starts claiming she saw some ghost or whatever in my room. I laughed at her and told her she is a retard, then she sulked for a while. I also tip fairly heavily at restaurants and bars, and she would get upset if I tipped a woman well. Really boiled my beans.

But hey I’m no walk in the park either, yaknowwhatImean? Heh heh.
 

HH Brother

I wanna fuck you up the ass, funster.
When I was a child of the 90s. I had a relationship with my local Librarian who was in her late 50s. She would give me hummers when I went there to check out books and VHS tapes on the Redsox and the Bruins. But I had to break it off when she told me she was wearing adult diapers. I had thought the shit smell was her breath, funster.
 

CutesyMissy

"... radio's most notorious shock jock."
In high school/just after I dated a girl and it lasted about 4 years altogether. She always talked about “when we have kids”, and we were still teens. I got her pregnant, whoops. Anyway I was terrified, expected her to have the kid, steeled myself for that inevitability and then she showed up one day and was like “I got an abortion”. I was pretty hurt that she didn’t tell me she was doing that and also how she talked for years about “when we have kids” then axes the thing without telling me.

Anyway, I checked out of the relationship mentally and told her it was over. She then did some shit to her neck and started telling her family I choked her. Her dad didn’t believe her for a second but her mom did. Somehow she had mostly hidden these type of histrionics during our time together but I guess the pregnancy hormones/abortion/dumping brought it out of her. Awful situation.



In university I dated a weird art school girl for a while. She was a nice person in most ways but was also a total narcissist. She could shit in my cornflakes and would come up with a reason why it’s my fault and why she needs an apology. I’m a stubborn old mule so I never would apologize unless I was actually in the wrong, so we’d be in this endless cycle of fighting/arguing. She also was a into occult/alien type shit as well. She once told me her brother and his wife saw ghosts in their house and I said fuck outta here with that shit. Immediately after this convo she goes into my bedroom to sleep while I’m on the couch, comes back out and is putting on some art school girl show like she’s startled and shocked and starts claiming she saw some ghost or whatever in my room. I laughed at her and told her she is a retard, then she sulked for a while. I also tip fairly heavily at restaurants and bars, and she would get upset if I tipped a woman well. Really boiled my beans.

But hey I’m no walk in the park either, yaknowwhatImean? Heh heh.
Oof.
I feel you.

I once dated one of those art hags. A visual arts student with specialization in paintings (she made some of the worst drawings I've ever seen, thankfully she got better as time went by). An amazing lay and extremely emotionally smart, but also was pragmatically dumb and completely dysfunctional in day-to-day life. What drove me off was that she was into the occult, and extraordinarily pretentious, in that sophomoric-college-brat kind of way, luckily she had a rich family and ended up marrying some fashion mogul.

The worst one was this black butterface cop. She had the best set of legs I've ever seen and titties that looked almost too perfect (I can assure you they were natural). But fuck, she grew in one of those dysfunctional black households (redundant), and only knew to communicate through screaming and aggressive poking. Also the concept of faithfulness was completely alien to her (I don't care about the cucking as much as the risk and diseases that come with promiscuity). Last I heard from common accuaintances, she got shot on duty and turned baptist.

Anyway, the crazier the bitch, the better the fuck.
 
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