Why did Pat miss so many days of school?

[Username]

He couldn’t handle school either academically or socially so he’d pretend to be sick a lot. “I have a tummy ache, I have a headache.”Raven being a bad mother and knowing Pat was an absolute moron and a magnet for bullies let him get away with it.

Pat couldn’t really ditch school his mother worked there. It’s the same shit he does now, he can’t handle work or being a father. So he larps as an author and fakes that he’s busy writing all day and claims his ex tricked him into signing his daughter away.

He’s spent his whole life avoiding becoming an adult. He’s Michael Jackson without the talent, power or money. I’m 99% sure they have the pedo thing in common though.

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

Our science teacher left the room unlocked one day so we stole the bottlr of ether and a box of the fetal pigs in formaldehyde. We huffed the ether and threw the pigs off the 3rd story balcony and they landed right in front of the main doorways and smelled like straight shit. They never mentioned the ether but they were pissed about the piglets.

I don't think we ever had any dead animals for dissection or anything. I don't know if it was because the school was poor or they couldn't trust the boys.

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

I was a shocking student, to be fair. Like, I would take Automotive and Art and in one term I literally attended like 5/40 and 0/41 classes respectively. I still don't know how to drain engine oil properly because I wasn't fucking there.

Me and my faggot friends signed up for Home Economics one semester because 1) we figured we could coast, and 2) all the girls did it, and I wanted to fuck this Cypriot girl even though she had a big Jew nose. Anyway, our food was always so inedible, like we'd put so much pepper in the mincemeat it'd make you sick. One time we fucked up some muffins, and the teacher had left the room so we took the trays outside and threw them like Frisbees onto the roof lol.

Another time we tried to make scones, and I microwaved the jam for some reason and threw it on my friend and he screamed so loud the whole building heard it lol, like I fucking scalded his hand.

One time I made this big thing of dough, I forgot what for, but I got bored so I stuck it in a microwave, set it for ten minutes and grabbed my bag and ran home. The thing probably expanded and ruined the microwave, fuck knows, but they didn't catch me.

Also in Home Ec, we couldn't sew for shit because we were boys. It's literally impossible for a non-poof guy to do that shit. We punctured our finger skin so much trying to do that shit.

Speaking of hurting ourselves, in Design & Technology (Shop Class) we'd solder wires together to make circuit boards work and shit. But again, we'd get bored and just run around with the soldering iron trying to burn other kids' forearms. Also the solder metal-y shit you'd melt into peoples' books and wreck them.

I only passed Design & Tech one semester because while he left the room, I took the teacher's grade book and wrote in all Bs under my name. I didn't write As because he'd get suspicious.

I should start a School thread because there's too many stories.

You sound retarded and I bet you still got better scores than Patrick

 

[Mike Glyer]

I was a shocking student, to be fair. Like, I would take Automotive and Art and in one term I literally attended like 5/40 and 0/41 classes respectively. I still don't know how to drain engine oil properly because I wasn't fucking there.

Me and my faggot friends signed up for Home Economics one semester because 1) we figured we could coast, and 2) all the girls did it, and I wanted to fuck this Cypriot girl even though she had a big Jew nose. Anyway, our food was always so inedible, like we'd put so much pepper in the mincemeat it'd make you sick. One time we fucked up some muffins, and the teacher had left the room so we took the trays outside and threw them like Frisbees onto the roof lol.

Another time we tried to make scones, and I microwaved the jam for some reason and threw it on my friend and he screamed so loud the whole building heard it lol, like I fucking scalded his hand.

One time I made this big thing of dough, I forgot what for, but I got bored so I stuck it in a microwave, set it for ten minutes and grabbed my bag and ran home. The thing probably expanded and ruined the microwave, fuck knows, but they didn't catch me.

Also in Home Ec, we couldn't sew for shit because we were boys. It's literally impossible for a non-poof guy to do that shit. We punctured our finger skin so much trying to do that shit.

Speaking of hurting ourselves, in Design & Technology (Shop Class) we'd solder wires together to make circuit boards work and shit. But again, we'd get bored and just run around with the soldering iron trying to burn other kids' forearms. Also the solder metal-y shit you'd melt into peoples' books and wreck them.

I only passed Design & Tech one semester because while he left the room, I took the teacher's grade book and wrote in all Bs under my name. I didn't write As because he'd get suspicious.

I should start a School thread because there's too many stories.

Feel free to share good ones any time you feel like it...

 

[fusciasomething]

I’d assume he was chasing the ice cream man. For both treats and tips on child rape

 

[Riccardo Bosi]

You sound retarded and I bet you still got better scores than Patrick

I was fucked in the head. I got the thread going in off topic that tells you what my grades were like. I'm pretty sure our school was just there as a buffer between being born and working in a car factory.

 

[guest]

Goldeneye aka retarded.

 

[Patty's Stubby Fingers]

Goldeneye aka retarded.

More like Leadbrains amirite

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

Mama Ravens vibrator was “broken” a lot and Tommy was out of town servicing bulls on the Rodeo circuit. She had Pat staying home to help her “release the tension, child” she figures “the retard will never be able to tell anyone how he took care of mama”

 

[Uncle Anthony Cumia]

I was fucked in the head. I got the thread going in off topic that tells you what my grades were like. I'm pretty sure our school was just there as a buffer between being born and working in a car factory.

High Schools are training grounds for menial jobs everywhere. In my town here you either went to college, trade school or became a bartender or went and worked on an oil rig in the gulf. Not a whole lot of other occupations at the class reunion 2 years ago. The one weird chick moved to Portland, surprise surprise.