Who is the most pathetic of the Pat adjacent characters (The Wack Pat)

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

This might be the only thing Paul ever wins in his entire life.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Those photos really show what kind of selfish asshole he is, it was his sisters wedding and he dressed like a groundskeeper. Funny he has work boots while being unemployed on disability. Had to have everyone see his very special Star Trek face mask and ruin the wedding pictures. I bet he didn’t even get her a gift or gave money but took full advantage of the food and drink being served.

They were hiking boots, which somehow makes even less sense for him. Also, when you saw additional pictures of the event, he was one of a whole bunch of dipshits just wearing whatever t shirt and jeans. I still couldn't bring myself to not try to look presentable for a wedding though, even if it's encouraged to just be casual. My uncle died a few years ago and his services were on like the hottest day of the year, the little legion thing they had it in was packed and hot as hell. Every guy there except me had like cargo shorts, and a short sleeve button up shirt and sandals. They were making fun of me too because I was visibly sweating but it's a fucking funeral for Christ's sake.

My cousin told me that my mom fell down the stairs twice while she was pregnant with me out of nowhere in front of everyone too. I was like "That explains it." and everyone laughed, but later on I was thinking how shitty that was. I should've been like "Your big, dopey, Tiny Tim looking, jew-nose daughter is ugly as fuck, you are a "career" Walmart cashier, and now your dad's dead. Go fuck yourself, bitch." Like I took it as her trying to be funny but I think she was legit trying to be mean to me in front of everyone because she was sad, I guess.

 

[KaNAMBLA Harris]

Don't forget his casual Friday wedding wear and catcher's mitt sized facemask

A perfect example of what I’m talking about with Shane is that he got free dental work done at the homeless shelter because he’s a bum relying on the generosity of others… then he left the homeless shelter a nasty Google review.

If he had a PINCH of self awareness he’d realize that polite society props up every aspect of his life and 150 years ago he would have rightfully been allowed to fail and die by his own merits but he feels no gratitude whatsoever

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

A perfect example of what I’m talking about with Shane is that he got free dental work done at the homeless shelter because he’s a bum relying on the generosity of others… then he left the homeless shelter a nasty Google review.

If he had a PINCH of self awareness he’d realize that polite society props up every aspect of his life and 150 years ago he would have rightfully been allowed to fail and die by his own merits but he feels no gratitude whatsoever

He'd be thrown off a ravine in Sparta

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Liz Clarke - she was in love with him and he had her in the pay no mind you fat ugly fuck list

Edit: also she was his first ball washer and we "won't see her no more" that bitch real fucking fast

 

[Faggot Boqposter]

Brian mcnett is 60, lives with his mother, and has a pretend disability. Shane might be crazier but he’s not as pathetic as Brian’s

 

[Jenna]

Paul because his entire essence is being pathetic. Shane's probably in a worse position life-wise but still has the blustering confidence to say his close friend Bill Gates will hunt down all his e-enemies. Paul just craves internet pity all day, every day.

 

[FranksWirecutters]

Brinton is a loser but not nearly as much as the rest of these people. He at least graduated law school and had a job. Also rich parents

I know, it's just his Google results are pretty much normal and I hate that.

Brinto Resto (probably didn't) turned me down as a client because (I heard) he was too busy fingering his fat pig whore sister.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Nikki?

 

[DominusOdium]

Liz Clarke - she was in love with him and he had her in the pay no mind you fat ugly fuck list

Edit: also she was his first ball washer and we "won't see her no more" that bitch real fucking fast

I remember when we found the pictures of her disgusting living conditions. She didn't stick around much after that.

 

[iBangedQuasi]

A perfect example of what I’m talking about with Shane is that he got free dental work done at the homeless shelter because he’s a bum relying on the generosity of others… then he left the homeless shelter a nasty Google review.

If he had a PINCH of self awareness he’d realize that polite society props up every aspect of his life and 150 years ago he would have rightfully been allowed to fail and die by his own merits but he feels no gratitude whatsoever

He left the negative review because the dentist had the audacity to suggest Shane is a fat piece of shit and should lose about 300lbs

 

[KaNAMBLA Harris]

Raven and Tipsy Tom are pretty pathetic, just look at the shit apple they made

The turd doesn’t fall far from the faggot’s ass

 

[CruisinColin]

Last one is a bonus

 

[cliveowen]

It depends on how you define pathetic. If its from the person's point of view, then it's Paul hands down. He's a self loathing loser. Jackie/Shane/Eric/etc are all delusional and think of themselves as geniuses.

If its from our point of view, then I don't know how you get anymore pathetic than Shane. The guy has got NOTHING going for him.

 

[Kinderman]

Weimer is winning in a landslide, and he should. All the others have plenty of reasons to qualify, but Paul has the Ick Factor. There’s something inherently repulsive and loser-ish about him. Every image of him is deeply unsettling, no matter what he’s doing. That one @captain_kamala posted of him sitting cross-legged like some kind of were-spider truly creeped me out.

And unlike the others, he is constantly going on about just what a loser he is. He is a perpetual misery machine. Congratulations, Paul. I’m so sorry.

 

[Honey Badger]

All of the choices on this list have some sort of misplaced confidence given their lot in life EXCEPT Paul. He has the awareness to at least want to kill himself. For that reason he edges above Heidi, who takes nigger dick for a living

 

[Mass.gov]

-The Icelandic fellow with the Gerber baby lips...
-Paul Weimer
-Shane Nokes

 

[OpiesDelishHog]

Filthy Piere

 

[captain_kamala]

Filthy Piere

He'll never be the same after that fall down the stairs

 

[Stent]

MM Schill is the most pathetic because she has every advantage that the rest would kill for. She doesn't even need to work because her husband supports her but she still acts disabled and produces low effort "art".