Who is the most incompetent person that you ever worked with?

Lamont & Tonelli

Brevity is... wit.
Two guys that came through the shop I was working at during a period when local labor was so scarce they were hiring paroled sex offenders (how do you think I got the job?), both anecdotes involve tape measures.
Gomer Pyle was a dishonorably discharged Marine with some sort of "lewd and lascivious" charges, I never got the full story. I asked him to give me a mark at 36 1/2" inches or something, he goes to measure it out, stops and asks me "half-inch is the big line, right?"
Short-Eyes was a creepy little fuck who got popped for strip-searching a teenager at his mallcop job. We were marking out a 1'x1' grid on a sheet of plywood. I start to suggest he pull the tape to the full length and make ticks at every foot, but he stops me and says "Hey man, this isn't the first time I've used one of these." He proceeds to pull out exactly one foot of tape and use that to make his marks.
 

Turry Fawks

Seven toothbrushes
That's a tough one man, genuinely. Worked with a guy named Will who I called Won't but he wasn't incompetent so much as he was fat and lazy. Probably Ryan - pathologically incapable of doing the job properly. If doing it the right way was the only way to do it without getting injured Ryan will either not do it or get hurt. Never, ever will he do it properly.

Both white
 
G

guest

Guest
I've had to work with government people in the past. In the US, everything goes by seniority. So the longer you've been there, the higher you will be promoted, etc. One time I was in a zoom meeting and some old hag was being incredibly cocky and making a fool of herself. I googled her thinking I'd find her linkedin or something because I wanted to know how the fuck she ended up in her position. The first result was a website that lists federal employees and their salaries, and I was completely shocked to find out she was making over $180k as a senior manager. This bitch was dumb as rocks. Some people really do just fall up. If Jackie Singh would've just paid her taxes, she'd fit in perfectly into a role like that and actually be able to say she's a professional whatever.
 

JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS

DMANIAC
My old boss who led our team for less than 7 months. She was a 40 something Asian woman. I’ve never worked with anybody as stupid as she was.

She was just a constant blocker to getting shit done. She’d try to hide her incompetence by insisting on kicking off leadership calls because she thought she could fake her way into getting promoted despite not knowing any subject matter.

She’d ask the same questions over and over and never retain any info. She’d also blurt out random nonsense like she had Tourette’s or something. One time she said she wish she had a gay best friend out of fucking nowhere. She would also unintentionally throw herself under the bus to her boss (our super boss) by blaming others for shit she didn’t understand and couldn’t explain. I’m honestly surprised she could even read.

To complicate things further, she’s smoking fucking hot and flirty as fuck even though she’s a married mother of two.

I could never figure out if she was actually open to cheating, trying to get simps to do her work, or just too stupid to see how she came off. I was so angry with the situation that I couldn’t even look at her by the end. Miraculously, she got moved to another team that I barely talk to.

I’d gladly eat that ass now even though I’m pretty sure she’d accidentally talk about it to someone and get me fired.
 

Turry Fawks

Seven toothbrushes
My old boss who led our team for less than 7 months. She was a 40 something Asian woman. I’ve never worked with anybody as stupid as she was.

She was just a constant blocker to getting shit done. She’d try to hide her incompetence by insisting on kicking off leadership calls because she thought she could fake her way into getting promoted despite not knowing any subject matter.

She’d ask the same questions over and over and never retain any info. She’d also blurt out random nonsense like she had Tourette’s or something. One time she said she wish she had a gay best friend out of fucking nowhere. She would also unintentionally throw herself under the bus to her boss (our super boss) by blaming others for shit she didn’t understand and couldn’t explain. I’m honestly surprised she could even read.

To complicate things further, she’s smoking fucking hot and flirty as fuck even though she’s a married mother of two.

I could never figure out if she was actually open to cheating, trying to get simps to do her work, or just too stupid to see how she came off. I was so angry with the situation that I couldn’t even look at her by the end. Miraculously, she got moved to another team that I barely talk to.

I’d gladly eat that ass now even though I’m pretty sure she’d accidentally talk about it to someone and get me fired.
Women are easy mode
 

LingerLonger

Still spreading the O&A virus
I worked with a woman who publicly reported fighting off an attempted gang rape. Made international news. I won't say who she was. But it was basically the most awkward month after her 'rape' ordeal went public where there were all the sympathy comments and people constantly asking her if she was "okay?". Whenever she walked into the room it was obvious that everyone had the rape on their minds and she oddly craved the attention and seemed to like being the center of everything that month. The company we were at hired a private security company for female workers after.

But then a few weeks later the police and FBI start questioning everyone. And it turns out that she made the entire thing up. And ran up a few million dollars in investigative work and extra patrols in the area she claimed she was raped. As the police had teams out patrolling the entire city at night for weeks on end to find this rape gang. And the FBI and police arrest her. So now the mood in the office is even more awkward. She of course got fired as well from a job that probably could have paid her seven figures in another few years.
 

JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS

DMANIAC
I worked with a woman who publicly reported fighting off an attempted gang rape. Made international news. I won't say who she was. But it was basically the most awkward month after her 'rape' ordeal went public where there were all the sympathy comments and people constantly asking her if she was "okay?". Whenever she walked into the room it was obvious that everyone had the rape on their minds and she oddly craved the attention and seemed to like being the center of everything that month. The company we were at hired a private security company for female workers after.

But then a few weeks later the police and FBI start questioning everyone. And it turns out that she made the entire thing up. And ran up a few million dollars in investigative work and extra patrols in the area she claimed she was raped. As the police had teams out patrolling the entire city at night for weeks on end to find this rape gang. And the FBI and police arrest her. So now the mood in the office is even more awkward. She of course got fired as well from a job that probably could have paid her seven figures in another few years.
Did she admit she made it up or does she still say she got gang raped?
 

2Shirts1Egg2

Shoulda kept his mouth shut. LIKE A MUTE!!!
I ranted about this guy in a previous thread but neglected to mention what race he was (Indian) but he's since been fired and I had to write a report on all the things I'd showed him multiple times he couldn't grasp. He was legit retarded (like actual can't digest one thought) but it wasn't mentioned in any application or interview so we had to treat him like regular Joe.

He was a chef who
-didn't know what lettuce was until 2 weeks into the job,
-cut everything with a limb directly in line with his knife and walks about with one pointed out directly in front of him at all times,
-thought half a college certificate was enough for him to start giving shit to the sous chefs about what they knew about cooking,
-disappeared for 20 mins at a time without telling you and then says he was havin' a shite when he gets back (multiple times a day).
- couldn't make a sandwich! I've never had to stop a sandwich from going to the pass until i met this prick, literally making me Gordon Ramsey him every day (I hate doing that gay angry shit).

He's basically retarded but because tolerance we had to put ourselves in danger every day to spare the feeling of a mongo who shouldn't be in the job.
 
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