Who is the dumbest person that you know?

[Phish]

I worked with someone in a restaurant (he was like fucking 20 years old) who didn’t know the difference between pork, chicken, beef, etc. He literally called everything either “steak” or “chicken”. I asked him why he kept calling the pork chops chicken and he said he didnt know the difference so just called everything steak if it was red or any meat that was white was chicken. He wasnt joking either.

 

[FrogmanKurlan]

I worked with someone in a restaurant (he was like fucking 20 years old) who didn’t know the difference between pork, chicken, beef, etc. He literally called everything either “steak” or “chicken”. I asked him why he kept calling the pork chops chicken and he said he didnt know the difference so just called everything steak if it was red or any meat that was white was chicken. He wasnt joking either.

We had a kid searching for a couple of hours looking for left handed coffee mugs.
But I post this in another thread but the dumbest guy I know shot his own dick off

 

[PickleRickle]

My old best bud. We had a Lenny and George thing going on. I wanted to old yeller the retard so many times. He was a dumbfuck Finlander who's sister went full-tranny and took roids and cut her tits off and started getting more pussy than her brother, which I reminded him constantly.

 

[guest]

But I post this in another thread but the dumbest guy I know shot his own dick off

Please expand. I don't mean something he can't say to his dick anymore, I mean tell the whole story please.

 

[PickleRickle]

Im fuckin gettin heated remembering this shit.
So we're at my buddies house, theres probably 5 of us. His sister just came out of the closet finally, admitting to being a lesbian. W/e, that just means she likes what I like, etc. We're all hanging in the living room, she's in there with us. Keeps interjecting with "im gay" at random, to which I kept saying "Yeah?" over and fuckin over again, trying to bait me into an argument since she knew how I feel about that shit. But its different if we go back, you know? I didnt care. We're all talkin about having a bbq the next day after biking to and back from our swimming spot, and she goes "Theres nothing better than steak and potatoes" with this phony masculine lower register affect she put on just for that sentence. I think I just looked at her. Fuckin whacko, sterilized cunt.

The next day I come over and the whiteboard on their fridge had written " ***** is a greasy asshole" ***** being my name. I erased it with "You wish you could be greasy." I didnt see her again until she got hired at the place where I work quite a few years later. She was now a He, and looked like what a skinny chad version of her brother would have looked like if he werent a fat, meek and flabby soynigger. It was hilarious, had the tranny beard and everything. This was in 2012, where I hadnt even seen that shit yet. She kept going into the mens washroom, the men flipped out, she was told to cut that shit out, so she quit.

Fuck Finlanders.

 

[FrogmanKurlan]

Please expand. I don't mean something he can't say to his dick anymore, I mean tell the whole story please.

He knocked up his girlfriend, who was a malignant cunt, and he decided to marry her to help support the kid. During his bachelor party he went into his room and shot his dick off. Supposedly he wanted to do the right thing for the kid but didn’t want to have any more kids with her. He was obviously was fucking hammered drunk when it happened so I don’t know how intentional it was.
I know it happened but even to me it seems like something to retarded to be true.
She was such a cunt about it she got him out of the hospital for the wedding and he was in a wheelchair for the ceremony with his shit all bandaged up. Truly a white trash match made in heaven

 

[guest]

He knocked up his girlfriend, who was a malignant cunt, and he decided to marry her to help support the kid. During his bachelor party he went into his room and shot his dick off. Supposedly he wanted to do the right thing for the kid but didn’t want to have any more kids with her. He was obviously was fucking hammered drunk when it happened so I don’t know how intentional it was.
I know it happened but even to me it seems like something to retarded to be true.
She was such a cunt about it she got him out of the hospital for the wedding and he was in a wheelchair for the ceremony with his shit all bandaged up. Truly a white trash match made in heaven

i read that 3 times and it still doesn't seem real. no one can be that stupid

 

[FrogmanKurlan]

i read that 3 times and it still doesn't seem real. no one can be that stupid

I wish it was one of the many delusions that I have but unfortunately for that dude’s pecka it’s not.

 

[guest]

I wish it was one of the many delusions that I have but unfortunately for that dude’s pecka it’s not.

Who was the wise aleck who told him about vasectomies after the fact

 

[RobertMewler]

He knocked up his girlfriend, who was a malignant cunt, and he decided to marry her to help support the kid. During his bachelor party he went into his room and shot his dick off. Supposedly he wanted to do the right thing for the kid but didn’t want to have any more kids with her. He was obviously was fucking hammered drunk when it happened so I don’t know how intentional it was.
I know it happened but even to me it seems like something to retarded to be true.
She was such a cunt about it she got him out of the hospital for the wedding and he was in a wheelchair for the ceremony with his shit all bandaged up. Truly a white trash match made in heaven

Why didn't he just wear a rubber, B?

 

[Phish]

We had a kid searching for a couple of hours looking for left handed coffee mugs.
But I post this in another thread but the dumbest guy I know shot his own dick off

The ol’ “we need a can of steam NOW! Go get it STAT! In the stockroom!”

 

[ThePepsiColaRapist]

He knocked up his girlfriend, who was a malignant cunt, and he decided to marry her to help support the kid. During his bachelor party he went into his room and shot his dick off. Supposedly he wanted to do the right thing for the kid but didn’t want to have any more kids with her. He was obviously was fucking hammered drunk when it happened so I don’t know how intentional it was.
I know it happened but even to me it seems like something to retarded to be true.
She was such a cunt about it she got him out of the hospital for the wedding and he was in a wheelchair for the ceremony with his shit all bandaged up. Truly a white trash match made in heaven

Were they able to fix anything?!

 

[FrogmanKurlan]

Were they able to fix anything?!

I don’t think so. I had been working with the guy at the time, and after it all happened he basically disappeared. So I’ve never gotten the chance to ask him about it
But this guy brings a new meaning to whack your bag…. Ahhhh boooo