Where we at with Ozark on Netflix?

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

jfc, no joke, my girlfriend and I got in a stupid fight over this show last night. she put it on because someone recommend it to her. I remember reading what it was about when it premiered and assumed it was going to be a breaking bad rip off so ignored it. we watched the first episode and i wasn't that off the mark. she asked what i thought after the first episode ended, obviously i didn't like it, and she got mad that I never like what she puts on and that i'm too "opinionated on things." I don't like half the shit i put on, it ain't exclusive to your dumb recommendations, bitch.

sorry to vent...

anyway, ozark isn't horrible but i really disliked it. it's miserable to sit through. it does come off as netflix's shoddy attempt to recreate breaking bad's magic. the creators changed the main character's white-collar occupation, every shot is now drenched in a cold blue hue (because all the characters are cold, maaaan) instead of BBs sun drenched orange color tone, and the main character's family is - from the get go - way more hateble than the whites. At least the breaking bad family was somewhat likeable in the beginning of the series.

the dialog isn't realistic, interesting, and tonally flat. There were moments that seemed like an attempt at black humor but it fails. it's also violent but not in an entertaining way. why would I want to watch four seasons of just an ugly, unrelatable, family doing horrible things to other people for the cartel? at least BB had humor, some heart, and identifiable characters.

sopranos might be another analog to ozark as well. i'm not tony soprano, but i can understand the reasons for some of his stupid decisions (especially the ones involving his family). bateman's character just comes off like weaselly, creepy, autist. i was already annoyed by the first dinner table scene when the daughter asked bateman for $10 for some stupid charity. he refuses just because she should understand the importance of money. the bitch was 17, why the fuck would she be asking her dad for $10? if you put that stupid request aside, what dad would refuse his daughter ten measly dollars for charity? it's $10! not even enough to buy good drugs with.

ozark fucking sucks and the more i think about it the more i hate it. don't watch it and if your stupid girlfriend/wife/butt buddy tries to make you endure forty minutes of that miserable crap: ignore her and put something else on.

I agree with all of that. My girlfriend never puts on anything but Brooklyn 99 and shitty crime dramas. I just want to watch Unsolved Mysteries and laugh at the fact that they make people relive the most traumatic moments of their lives in the reenactments.

Another shitty, boring show is The Blacklist. They literally have James Spader do a John Lithgow impression for his character. Why the fuck wouldn't they just get John Lithgow? It's obviously not a show I'd like but this bitch is constantly presenting these dead serious, boring as fuck shows to me like I'm going to love them and gets mad at me when I don't. Put on what you want, retard. I'm not going to like it and I don't fucking have to. Stupid cunt had not only never seen an Ernest movie, she had never even heard of Ernest.

 

[guest]

I agree with all of that. My girlfriend never puts on anything but Brooklyn 99 and shitty crime dramas. I just want to watch Unsolved Mysteries and laugh at the fact that they make people relive the most traumatic moments of their lives in the reenactments.

Another shitty, boring show is The Blacklist. They literally have James Spader do a John Lithgow impression for his character. Why the fuck wouldn't they just get John Lithgow? It's obviously not a show I'd like but this bitch is constantly presenting these dead serious, boring as fuck shows to me like I'm going to love them and gets mad at me when I don't. Put on what you want, retard. I'm not going to like it and I don't fucking have to. Stupid cunt had not only never seen an Ernest movie, she had never even heard of Ernest.

But other than different tastes in television shows the relationship's going well?

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

But other than different tastes in television shows the relationship's going well?

She pulled a scalpel on me the other day and I've never been punched in the face more by a single person. I'm capable of caving her fuckin head in and I don't think she gets it. And she's a lawyerette so I'm sure she'll end up ruining my life completely. She dresses up like Loonette the clown and learned how to make balloon animals though so it's going great.

 

[guest]

She pulled a scalpel on me the other day and I've never been punched in the face more by a single person. I'm capable of caving her fuckin head in and I don't think she gets it. And she's a lawyerette so I'm sure she'll end up ruining my life completely. She dresses up like Loonette the clown and learned how to make balloon animals though so it's going great.

Bin the bitch. She assaults you knowing you can't do anything back without going to jail. That's no good.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

Best thing I can say about it is that, so far, Patton Oswalt hasn't shown up in it.

 

[O-BLOCK NIGGA!]

So the show overall is fine. Not great. The fucking COLOR is the worst thing about it, IMO.

The second and third seasons, for some reason, had to go woke and put the women at the forefront of the show, just 'cause.

I say woke, because it venerated the decisions they made, instead of chastising them for the bad fucking decisions that they were. The smartest person on the show Marty (Jason Bateman) had a plan to get them out of the shit they were in, until his cunt wife Wendy (played by the-mother-of all-bitch-actors Laura Linney) essentially buried their entire family by inculcating them further into the cartel, because female bosses and patriarchy and #banbossy. Then Ruth was portrayed as this broken angel, the lawyer bitch was just strong, independent women and don't ask questions (even though she was as ruthless as the cartel), Darlene was a dictator that deserved to be one, and all the men became either broken emotionally, stupid, or crazy.

They seemed to have picked up what made the first season work with Season 4 Part 1, as they race to the finish line. Not a ton of woke shit but, once again, THE FUCKIN COLOR ON THIS SHOW IS A TRAVESTY AND MAKES ME HATE DIGITAL FILM.

 

[victor_sanchez]

I agree with all of that. My girlfriend never puts on anything but Brooklyn 99 and shitty crime dramas. I just want to watch Unsolved Mysteries and laugh at the fact that they make people relive the most traumatic moments of their lives in the reenactments.

Another shitty, boring show is The Blacklist. They literally have James Spader do a John Lithgow impression for his character. Why the fuck wouldn't they just get John Lithgow? It's obviously not a show I'd like but this bitch is constantly presenting these dead serious, boring as fuck shows to me like I'm going to love them and gets mad at me when I don't. Put on what you want, retard. I'm not going to like it and I don't fucking have to. Stupid cunt had not only never seen an Ernest movie, she had never even heard of Ernest.

When blacklist came out, I remember seeing it on almost every single billboard and still dont know a single person who watches it. "A show with James spader in a trenchcoat and fedora?! oooh how intriguing!" said no one.

how do you not know ernest...

"Hey Verne, looks like your wife being very uppity. Oh! there's your problem: shes a dumb bitch. Just give her the ol' jack Johnson to the chin. That'll fix'er up real good, verne"

 

[Cuphead]

I liked the first season, but it had a lot of forced gay shit in it. Never watched the rest cause I forgot about it

 

[Stent]

she's a lawyerette

Construction or rape?

 

[Ladynyahh]

I liked the first season, but it had a lot of forced gay shit in it. Never watched the rest cause I forgot about it

It's been a while since I saw season one but I don't recall any more gay stuff after that first season. I agree, the gay romance between the agent and that other guy seemed forced but it is Netflix, so I tend to expect some kind of homosexual overtones to be worked in somebow

 

[guest]

My mom has been trying to get me to watch it for like 2 years so it must be shit

 

[Stent]

I watched a couple of episodes. I think I must have stopped watching this show during season 3. I don't know what is going on. Characters only threaten or yell at each other yet nothing actually happens.

An FBI agent has a baby and moves in with them? What the fuck. Who writes this comically dumb shit? They go to some corporation run by a bosslady to sell opium. Three quarters of the script is women yapping. The son is now magically an autistic Lex Luthor.

Tragically stereotype Mexican cartel. Uh oh! Crazy cartel guy is a loose cannon! I'm sick of hearing beaner talk which then requires me to pay attention to subtitles.

How this show has gone up in ratings is baffling.

 

[Stent]

Anyone watched the last half of the final season? I watched the first episode and might not even watch the rest now.

MC Serch will turn up in the final episode to ice Marty and tell him "I told you I'ma getatchu, B!"

 

[Guinness525]

No matter what’s going on or how high the stakes get, Jason Bateman is always just mildly annoyed and dryly sarcastic. All Michael Bluth-y and shit.

Ruth looks like she’s about to cry all the time. Even though she’s a girl boss gimmick, she doesn’t bother me as much as I expected. She’s not pretty and she’s a mouthy cunt but idk… there’s somethin about her that titillates me. Except now her hair is all short and she looks like a lesbian frog.

 

[LingerLonger]

Ending was great. Love how it pissed off all of the fag reddit fans. Better ending than Dexter and Breaking Bad in that it killed fan favorite characters in brutal ways even humiliating them before their deaths. Ozark will be like Sopranos. Everyone will hate it at first. Might take over a decade for people to like this show again.

In Breaking Bad a high school chemistry teacher beats an entire Mexican drug cartel AND beats an entire Nazi gang basically by himself. And his junkie sidekick lives until the end. Ozark had it right. The cartel and FBI are too powerful for one person or family to beat. And anyone who messes with them is gunned down on their own doorstep and forgotten instantly.

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

balloon animals

That's what's up

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

lesbian frog.

That's what's up

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

It's fine. The premise was crazy stupid in the first episode and then it got more believable. Just started watching it recently, a few eps into season 2.

Breaking Bad sucked shit, this is definitely better.

 

[guest]

I watched the first season with my girlfriend when it came out. I didn't like it very much. Never got invested in the story or the characters. And to echo what everyone else has said, it's hideous to look at. Anyway, I watched the first episode of season two with her and tapped out. I'd rather watch the Columbus Day episode of the Sopranos on a loop

 

[Dennyislife]

It's Jim Norton's favourite show. Probably. See if you can hear the line why I think so.

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