What's the worst Christmas you've ever had?

[Nigger John]

I havnt enjoyed Christmas since 2003 . That’s the last year we had it with my uncle. He married a woman my parents didn’t like and 3 years later died from some rare cancer at 58.

 

[DMAN]

using a leaf blower isn't inherently a problem

Leaf blowers are the most worthless things in existence. They are worse for the planet than cars, buses, or anything. They are annoying as fuck to listen to and accomplish NOTHING. If a little bit of wind undoes all your hard work, maybe just stop doing it. No, a patch of leaves will not burst into flames if you don't blow them around. Plus they just kill frogs, lizards, and any potentially tiny animals hiding in grass for no good reason.

 

[johnnynoname]

He married a woman my parents didn’t like and 3 years later died from some rare cancer at 58.

based

 

[satanssockpuppet]

Way back in the day, I was in a car accident on Christmas night. It was around 9:30 or so, and I was on the way home, and a guy in a Bronco blew right through a side street stop sign and plowed right into my driver's side door. I ended up on someone's lawn, and at first the dude tried to flee, then he pulled over a little ways up. I could hear his girlfriend screaming at him "WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN'T LEAVE!" and I could see him tossing away beers and/or empties. It was just kind of surreal, and ridiculous, like an after school special TV movie or something. At first I thought I was fine, but the crash and airbag fucked up my face and my mouth, and I broke a molar. Otherwise just bumps and bruises.

So I climbed out through the passenger side, and the cops showed up. Turned out the dude's father was a state trooper, and they let him walk scot-free. He's a lawyer now, and he has an office not far from the site of the crash. My insurance company decided the damages were a few hundred bucks away from a total, and I had to get it repaired, and it was a piece of shit from that point forward.

 

[Nigger John]

based

Meant my uncle lol

 

[Smeckler's Powder]

I actually traditionally go crazy around Christmas

No time like the presents

 

[FranksWirecutters]

I havnt enjoyed Christmas since 2003 . That’s the last year we had it with my uncle. He married a woman my parents didn’t like and 3 years later died from some rare cancer at 58.

Ass cancer?

 

[BUBBLER]

Leaf blowers are the most worthless things in existence. They are worse for the planet than cars, buses, or anything. They are annoying as fuck to listen to and accomplish NOTHING. If a little bit of wind undoes all your hard work, maybe just stop doing it. No, a patch of leaves will not burst into flames if you don't blow them around. Plus they just kill frogs, lizards, and any potentially tiny animals hiding in grass for no good reason.

Greatest enemy of the leaf blower: The Wind

 

[Prison Enjoyer]

It's a small town and there's 4 cells. I always get the crazy fuck cell that is just a cinderblock room with no bars to myself because when they put me with the bars I always just shook the fuck out of them all night and would chirp the fuck out of whoever else was in there and get them screaming at me from the other cells. That particular night though I remember they brought in two drunk brothers who had just beat the shit out of eachother at a family function. They were still flipping out when they got there but ended up both crying and asking to see the other one and then later, some haggard old drunk whore who wouldn't stop loudly phlegm-coughing so I lost my fucking mind on her and she threatened to have me killed by the Hell's Angels lol. Whenever they let me out before anyone else they'd always be like "look straight ahead. Don't look in the other cells."

Walkerton? That’s the same jail where Michael Rafferty and Elisabeth Wettlaufer got interrogated in their little interview room right?

 

[Prison Enjoyer]

My neighbor has been snowblowing his fucking driveway for about half an hour. I have a bigger driveway and I could shovel it twice in the time he's been doing this. I fucking hate this asshole and I'm considering just going over and dropping that on him on Christmas just so he feels the unpleasantness that I feel listening to an annoying motor running in his driveway 4 fucking seasons a year. If the cocksucker isn't out there revving a Harley for no discernable reason he's running a chainsaw or a snowblower or something. When this cunt mows his lawn he somehow takes like 4 hours to do it and he lives on like less than an acre. He just loves to be annoying. If they ever wonder why I just blow shit up with tannerite at like 10pm with no warning sometimes, it's because of this prick.

I’ve been watching ‘jeet slip-and-slide the past week with the foot of slow. I have to imagine Brampton has declared a state of emergency and is completely shut down. Nice tripping on ice wearing a sari, stupid. @Rodeo Clown

 

[NortheastPhilly]

In the Navy I was working the night shift and woke up like 4pm on Christmas. Walked to the mess hall on base in the pouring rain only to find out they were closed early for the holiday. Walked back to my room in the rain and microwaved totinos pizza rolls. Dont remember but I probably cried a lot

 

[BUBBLER]

In the Navy I was working the night shift and woke up like 4pm on Christmas. Walked to the mess hall on base in the pouring rain only to find out they were closed early for the holiday. Walked back to my room in the rain and microwaved totinos pizza rolls. Dont remember but I probably cried a lot

From the fact you had microwaved pizza rolls instead of oven baked?

 

[FranksWirecutters]

In the Navy I was working the night shift and woke up like 4pm on Christmas. Walked to the mess hall on base in the pouring rain only to find out they were closed early for the holiday. Walked back to my room in the rain and microwaved totinos pizza rolls. Dont remember but I probably cried a lot

It's been a day and nobody made a gay and navy joke? We got lost.

Half hearted "what did your boyfriend eat" joke