What’s the most ridiculous reason you or someone you know got broken up with over?

[not that Jack Horner]

I lost a great girl due to substance abuse a long time ago. The final straw was a random work day id had off so i decided to have fun. Fuck it. I wasnt living with the bitch at the time so i figured i was good to go. I started with shooting some benzos and heroin mixed together to start the day, then busted out the IV Ketamine. She walked into my house while i was mid k-holed, whacked out on xanax and dope. I was literally drooling trying to explain myself to her. Felt like sucha fucking loser. She made the right choice to block me that day and send one farewell message telling me to go to rehab.

thats hilarious

 

[1073waaf]

A girl i know dated a writer, he wrote down some phone messages for her. She was annoyed that he didn’t use an exclamation point to announce her friend having a baby to capture the right tone of the message. That's the reason she broke up with him.

Top of the muffin TO YOU!

 

[Phish]

She was a keeper, but not an enabler. btw, that drug cocktail scared the shit out of me.

Benzos and dope is just asking to die. Itll happen eventually. Every OD ive ever had (ive had ALOT) that required narcan was from that combo. Ketamine is just icing on the downer cake. I lied to that poor girl day after day that I was only taking methadone.

 

[JebJoh]

Top of the muffin TO YOU!

Nice responding to the wrong post, stupid

 

[JebJoh]

Benzos and dope is just asking to die. Itll happen eventually. Every OD ive ever had (ive had ALOT) that required narcan was from that combo. Ketamine is just icing on the downer cake. I lied to that poor girl day after day that I was only taking methadone.

All kidding aside ... what the fuck? Are you cleaned up? Functional? In need of some non financial help? Plus the proper excuse for that occasion is either "food poisoning" or "allergies"

 

[Phish]

Another funny one was my brother and his GF of 3 years broke up because he refused to participate in her Jewery. Temple, holidays, etc. Hes not even racist, he just had principles that if were gonna be a couple were going to be a non jew couple. He pretty much said we can be non practicing Catholics or whatever but were not jews.

 

[Phish]

All kidding aside ... what the fuck? Are you cleaned up? Functional? In need of some non financial help? Plus the proper excuse for that occasion is either "food poisoning" or "allergies"

Ya man im good now. I still use the occasional benzo or Soma or whstever more than a family man probably should, but im not out of control or anything. I was clean for years and just in the last couple I’ve started dabbling again. Ill never touch a needle/heroin ever again though.

 

[Cakehorn's Shitty Sink]

having too big of a dick (me)

 

[JebJoh]

Ya man im good now. I still use the occasional benzo or Soma or whstever more than a family man probably should, but im not out of control or anything. I was clean for years and just in the last couple I’ve started dabbling again. Ill never touch a needle/heroin ever again though.

California sober leads to problems. I have an alcohol problem, just like my forefathers, but I've never thought I should try to get worse, it just isn't that fun and when your 5 year old asks "Were you drunk yesterday ... " it kinda ruins your week. Hope you really do have it under control, I know a lot of guys looking for their kids so they can "make amends" that would drive me to drink

 

[JebJoh]

Another funny one was my brother and his GF of 3 years broke up because he refused to participate in her Jewery. Temple, holidays, etc. Hes not even racist, he just had principles that if were gonna be a couple were going to be a non jew couple. He pretty much said we can be non practicing Catholics or whatever but were not jews.

Not that I care about religion, but I went to a pretty Jewish college and always knew I could find a nice jewish girl who would feel guilty and break up with me after a few weeks because I would never go along with their "Tell my friends your mom is jewish" nonsense. Banging the first one made it okay for all of her friends to bang me after she dumped me, I got through 2 years of college that way

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Were your parents normal? How did your cousin turn out?

My moms a saint just naive and a little slow. My father I don’t really know. He kept getting arrested for stupid shit. He got bagged for going through peoples garbage after he fell asleep on my birthday cake for my second birthday. My mother refused to bail him out and that was that.

My cousin is a huge drunk who acts like a fucking woman. Nigga can’t keep his emotions in check. He was raped several tapes as a child so what are ya going to do.

 

[EraGodless]

A girl i know dated a writer, he wrote down some phone messages for her. She was annoyed that he didn’t use an exclamation point to announce her friend having a baby to capture the right tone of the message. That's the reason she broke up with him.

Sounds like a Seinfeld episode.

 

[RaggotFetard]

I knew a girl that dumped a guy cus he would always say everything was “shweet”. All of the time. Her: “Come by, let’s order a pizza and watch a movie.” Him: “shweet”. Her: “I bought you this t-shirt at the mall.” Him: “whoa shweet!” All fucking day this idiot would say the word shweet! It was the mid 2000s.

I stopped seeing a girl after I took her out to dinner twice. Both times at expensive restaurants, both times ordered a pricey entree, barely picked at it and said she wasn’t hungry but I shouldn’t worry about it going to waste cus she’d give it to her brother when she got home. Maybe that’s petty of me, but that really chapped my ass.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

I knew a girl that dumped a guy cus he would always say everything was “shweet”. All of the time. Her: “Come by, let’s order a pizza and watch a movie.” Him: “shweet”. Her: “I bought you this t-shirt at the mall.” Him: “whoa shweet!” All fucking day this idiot would say the word shweet! It was the mid 2000s.

That's not a ridiculous reason at all, fuck that guy. I'm getting mad just reading that.

 

[Jack_Horner]

I had a relationship blow up badly, and after that happened, I was really off the rails. I had a few days where I was hooking up with different girls before *and* after work. In one case I was hooking up with a really homely woman who worked overnight as a janitor, and she'd come to my place in the morning, before I went to work.

It got to be bizarre, how these women didn't seem to give a shit if I was sleeping with other women. With one woman in particular, we never argued about anything, we got along pretty well. I just wasn't that attracted to her and she was quite dumb.

So it was this weird situation where there was no obvious reason for me to stop seeing her. It's not like I could go to her and say "I want to date other people." I was already dating other people and she was fine with it.

One morning I was taking a shower at her place, wondering to myself how I could extricate myself out of this situation. I'd stayed overnight and I was heading to work in a matter of minutes. Then it hit me:

https://www.cafepress.com/+allmeacceptit_shower_curtain,1719897300

Her shower curtain. I dumped her because of her shower curtain.

It was just so ridiculous and narcissistic to have a shower curtain like this.

 

[Stent]

I knew of two fags who had a break up because one of them yanked too hard on the other guy's tiny flaccid cock with his hand that looked like a chicken foot. It was also something to do with Lucy Lawless.

 

[ChildSpitTake]

My moms a saint just naive and a little slow. My father I don’t really know. He kept getting arrested for stupid shit. He got bagged for going through peoples garbage after he fell asleep on my birthday cake for my second birthday. My mother refused to bail him out and that was that.

My cousin is a huge drunk who acts like a fucking woman. Nigga can’t keep his emotions in check. He was raped several tapes as a child so what are ya going to do.

Classy family

 

[FingerofGod]

That's not a ridiculous reason at all, fuck that guy. I'm getting mad just reading that.

Sounds like you’re a jealous mothahucka. He’s probably with a nice schweety right now. A good schwing and bazinga to you!

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

"got broken up with over"

Tomlinson level English.

 

[1073waaf]

Nice responding to the wrong post, stupid

What are you talking about?