What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told or who have you lied to the most and why?

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

I constantly lied to any girlfriends that I’ve ever had no matter how long or short term. I wanted to get fucked up and be left alone. Stop nagging, silly hoes. Biggest lie though was telling one I loved her for the first time
just so she’d stop bitching at me about something dumb.

 

[Fishing Bird]

i was working as a technician for an aerospace company I put a lubricant on an assembly I was working on and it seized immediately instead of rotating like it should. I told engineering and they came and blamed me for doing it wrong until they tried and got the same result. Immediately after they left I realized I used the wrong bottle, I grabbed a binding agent instead of a lube that were in the same colored bottle and had only a slightly different number. I then dumped the lube and put the bonding agent in the bottle of lube. I had half a dozen white shirt engineers down there pulling their hair out for 2 weeks trying to figure it out. The engineer came up to me distressed and apologizing for accusing me of doing something wrong and instead of accepting I yelled at her and told me not to accuse me of things if she didn’t know what’s going on.

 

[JoshFromMichigan]

i was working as a technician for an aerospace company I put a lubricant on an assembly I was working on and it seized immediately instead of rotating like it should. I told engineering and they came and blamed me for doing it wrong until they tried and got the same result. Immediately after they left I realized I used the wrong bottle, I grabbed a binding agent instead of a lube that were in the same colored bottle and had only a slightly different number. I then dumped the lube and put the bonding agent in the bottle of lube. I had half a dozen white shirt engineers down there pulling their hair out for 2 weeks trying to figure it out. The engineer came up to me distressed and apologizing for accusing me of doing something wrong and instead of accepting I yelled at her and told me not to accuse me of things if she didn’t know what’s going on.

When you got to the part about not faking humility and instead yelling at the person you set up, I was about to call you a scumbag until you said it was a woman and then I cheered.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Almost everything I’ve ever said to my mom since I could speak is a lie, and it will be until she learns to stop being a cunt, which will never happen

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

"No, I'm not 'using again.' I'm offended you'd even ask."

 

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

"No, I'm not 'using again.' I'm offended you'd even ask."

 

[guest]

The most I lied to was to myself when I was a kid. “No, I don’t like boys”.

 

[HH Brother]

My penis is adequately sized and can sexually satisfy a woman, funster.

 

[PickleRickle]

I stayed with a horrible bitch because her Dad got me a high paying job. That was a lot of lying for years. Still have the job, though.

 

[guest]

We had to write some story for an elementary school class about what we did over the summer, 1998 or 1999. I completely made mine up to sound more interesting than I was. My mom read it and said " You're a liar! You're no better than Bill Clinton!"

 

[Leonard Rhomberg]

i was working as a technician for an aerospace company I put a lubricant on an assembly I was working on and it seized immediately instead of rotating like it should. I told engineering and they came and blamed me for doing it wrong until they tried and got the same result. Immediately after they left I realized I used the wrong bottle, I grabbed a binding agent instead of a lube that were in the same colored bottle and had only a slightly different number. I then dumped the lube and put the bonding agent in the bottle of lube. I had half a dozen white shirt engineers down there pulling their hair out for 2 weeks trying to figure it out. The engineer came up to me distressed and apologizing for accusing me of doing something wrong and instead of accepting I yelled at her and told me not to accuse me of things if she didn’t know what’s going on.

and then a few months later the challenger exploded during takeoff

 

[Dougie's Hapa Daughter]

and then a few months later the challenger exploded during takeoff

Based and Morton-Thiokol-pilled.

Apparently one of the Challenger's crew had dandruff: they found their head and shoulders washed up on the beach.

 

[Dog Eater]

i was working as a technician for an aerospace company I put a lubricant on an assembly I was working on and it seized immediately instead of rotating like it should. I told engineering and they came and blamed me for doing it wrong until they tried and got the same result. Immediately after they left I realized I used the wrong bottle, I grabbed a binding agent instead of a lube that were in the same colored bottle and had only a slightly different number. I then dumped the lube and put the bonding agent in the bottle of lube. I had half a dozen white shirt engineers down there pulling their hair out for 2 weeks trying to figure it out. The engineer came up to me distressed and apologizing for accusing me of doing something wrong and instead of accepting I yelled at her and told me not to accuse me of things if she didn’t know what’s going on.

You committed to the lie 100%. I fully respect that.

 

[HH Brother]

I stayed with a horrible bitch because her Dad got me a high paying job. That was a lot of lying for years. Still have the job, though.

A

B

C

Always be compensating, picklester.

 

[Voscabulary]

I stayed with a horrible bitch because her Dad got me a high paying job. That was a lot of lying for years. Still have the job, though.

damn. she should've kept her head on a fawkin swivel

 

[Dog Eater]

My sister used to work at a super upscale food place that had an entire cheese cave. She was very highly regarded by the owners and was in charge of staff wages, rostering hiring etc. along with the cheese side of things. They trusted her completely. She worked with a Frenchman who knew his stuff but was a bit lazy.

She was working in the cheese cave on her own one weekend when an obviously wealthy couple in their 60’s came in. As she began her usual spiel they interrupted her “we want to talk to the French guy”. She began explaining that she could tell them anything they needed to know and they interrupted her “No we want to be served by the French guy, yeah let us talk to him.”

My sister said “Go fuck yourselves you stupid pieces of rich shit you think you can demand to speak to who you want or that he knows more because he’s french? You might be rich but you’ll always be stupid pieces of fucking shit, fuck off and get out of here. Fuck off and go complain about me, they’ll never believe what you have to say in a million years.”

All the while she kept smiling and acting naturally for the cameras and sure enough when the lengthy written complaint came through didn’t even ask her about it. Just mentioned a weird email complaint had come that wasn’t true.

 

[johnnynoname]

Morton-Thiokol-

this nigga

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Same as you. I did it yesterday. I said I was out working when I wasn't because I just wanted to do nothing for a day. She ended up being like "I'll just wait for you at your house on the porch" and I had to do a bunch of subsequent lying so I didn't get busted for the original lie.

 

[johnnynoname]

- my dad dying
- having cancer
- being married once
- any the fat girl stories i've told (including the Terry Gordy one)
- the story about my dad getting a rocking chair for his birthday

those are the only things i've told the truth about on here

everything else is a lie


...except that

 

[johnnynoname]

...........................and that