- Forum Clout
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For those who remember all the way back to the beginning of the saga, Patrick used to bill himself as a Never Trump conservative who would rather vote democrat than see democracy deteriorate forever. But has he ever gone on record with what conservative views he holds? Let's examine where he falls on the political spectrum.
The federal government should be small in size and limited in scope while deferring rights back to the states for self-governance.
The federal government should be small in size and limited in scope while deferring rights back to the states for self-governance.
- Patrick's consistently supports positions that would result in the eventual increase of the federal government's size and scope. For example, he strongly advocated for the federal government to mandate its citizenry take the experimental COVID vaccine. He also is a proponent of the federal government putting restraints on freedom of speech & expression. Lastly, Patrick's life revolves political discourse at the federal level. At night, he has feverish sex dreams that involve himself, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, a handful of African American children, and a sausage maker. In the morning, he takes to X to spew his "hot takes" on geopolitics into the ether. Actual conservatives understand that politics is gay and just want to be left alone. They don't discuss politics. It's called the silent majority for a reason.
- Patrick consistently supports positions that would 1) expand the welfare state, 2) redistribute wealth from the rich to the poor, and 3) move power from free-markets to government agencies / NGOs. Patrick is like an English villager filled with blood lust and armed with a pitchfork. Only instead of setting his sights on Frankenstein's monster, his target is the likes of Elon Musk or Bill Ackman. The reason? These men are self-made billionaires who committed the gravest of injustices- they both are politically center left. Vegas bookmakers won't even take action on whether or not Patrick has masturbated to the thought of Mackenzie Bezos pissing away her husband's hard earned money and donating over a billion dollars to progressive charities; it's what the gambling addicts like to call a mortal lock. He wants a piece of Elon's bank account. Hell, he eat's PPP loans for breakfast, after he takes down three egg McMuffins with a side of beer cheese soup.
- Patrick loves himself some undocumented minorities. Patrick envisions himself as a real life Paul Atreides, leading an army of street shitters and miscreants to take down an evil empire. He doesn't believe in borders. He fancies himself a global citizen.
- Patrick hates the police almost as much as every founding member of NWA. Fuck the police? No, but let's sue the shit out of them. It's a virtual certainty that Patrick bought knee pads from his local target after famed heroin addict George Floyd overdosed- he knew he was going to be kneeling for at least the next two years. Every once in a while an ex girlfriend of mine sends me links to YouTube videos where white people are kissing the feet of someone who resembles a cross between Nia Burr and Harambe. To this day, I'm amazed I haven't seen Patrick in one of these videos.
- It saddens me that this biological fact is now a right wing position, but here we are. Patrick endorses confused men dressing up as scantly clad showgirls and performing strip teases for elementary school children. At night, he scours every drag burlesque in the greater Milwaukee area looking to find a confused, cheese-smelling man willing to dress like a slut and read Starship Repo to some twelve year olds.
- Patrick loves abortions. He can't get enough of them. To Patrick, abortions are synonymous with the American way of life, like baseball or warm apple pie. He loves abortions so much he assaulted his pregnant wife, wanting to perform one himself.
- While Patrick proudly posts pictures of himself holding firearms he claims he possesses, he has supported virtually every gun control measure proposed by a Democrat controlled senate. He willingly supports Red Flag laws that seek to restrict gun ownership from those with alleged mental disease or anti-social tendencies. He fails to acknowledge the counter argument- that these Red Flag laws are a trojan horse for widespread gun control.
