We’re getting at least 35 years in prison…

[guest]

Let’s do some War of the Roses for the single mom listening while she commutes from Connecticut!

We are… New York!
We are… New Jersey!
We are… Connecticut!
We are… Fake Secret Agents!

 

[Cuphead]

 

[NortheastPhilly]

I should hopefully get through this thread by the time I go on vacation in late July

 

[guest]

I should hopefully get through this thread by the time I go on vacation in late July

Excuse me, but you’re only allowed to go on vacation if you owe an extraordinary amount of money to somebody on the Internet.

 

[SFWA liaison]

redditors eating up his LARP

 

[Meownaw]

I step away for an hour and there is 3 new pages. This pig is like mana from heaven.

 

[Milk74]

Skip this if you don’t want a long, gay rant:

There is a reason why people like this piss me off.

I have an auto immune disorder and at one point I was on medications they give to chemotherapy patients because it was that or die.

Between those medications and the corticosteroids which eats away at your muscle, causes extreme water retention and destroys your metabolism, I ballooned up pretty big.

When I boxed I was at 145. I was incredibly lean, so lean that I would probably die if that weight now because of what ended up happening to me healthwise. So I try to cruise around 160. I’m not a very big guy. I stopped boxing because I was terrible at it, enjoyed martial arts more, and found out I also had a blood clotting disorder so that if I got punched in the nose or broke another limb, I could get blood clots and die. That was how they found my blood clotting disorder in the first place, from a broken leg and a pulmonary embolism. My lungs collapsed and that was one of three times that I should’ve died.

It would’ve been incredibly easy to go on disability. But I wanted to have kids someday. Something else was more important than me.

Even as I eventually became moderately successful in my creative career, I still kept a crappy job just so they knew that I worked outside of the house. So they knew that I worked hard.

I’ve also helped people get sober because someone once helped me. A big part of that is getting people busy. Give them something to do. Literally that’s all it takes sometimes. They don’t need secret meetings like Jimmy, although that can help. What they really need is something more important than their drinking or their laziness or their sloth or their dumb disability that gets them working, that keeps their mind and body busy. I wanted to be able to run with my kids at the playground so I lost a bunch of weight, got off the medication, learned how to treat myself, which took a year of research.

Once I was off the meds and busy working out, guess what happened? My knees don’t hurt anymore, they actually work. I figured out how to strengthen my ligaments and my tendons so I could walk, so I could run. It took years.

You have no fucking idea how goddamn angry it makes me when people just make excuses to give up. There’s no goddamn excuse for being that big. None. I feel for this guy, it seems like he went through hell physically. I would, not ironically, help the guy if I ever got the chance. I’ve helped others do it. I feel bad that his mom messed him up. I feel bad that he’s had all these physical issues that are beyond his control. He was dealt a shitty hand and I’m not gonna pretend that it’s his fault that the deck was stacked against him.

But he seems smart enough to get himself together. He needs to stop with the bullshit. He needs to get away from video games, get off the fucking computer, and fix himself. Don’t rely on doctors, although you should have a good one to help you. Rely on yourself. Go learn what it is you need to do to fix your body. There’s always an answer. Always. I’m never going to be the athlete I was when I was younger, not that I was all that athletic. But you know what I mean.

I know what my ceiling is genetically and I’m doing everything I can to reach it. I never will, almost no one does, but it gets me up in the morning. It gets me to the gym. It gets me walking, it gets me to the playground with the kids.

I went from barely being able to get out of the bed and weighing almost 250 pounds on my small frame to about 165 pounds and out running my son on the soccer field. I could barely walk! I don’t want to hear excuses.

All of these terminally online people who are outraged over every little thing that happens to them, and they have to write their shitty reviews when Midas looks at them funny or when their food is delivered late from DoorDash, have nothing else to occupy them. Who in the fucking hell has time to worry about pronouns and outrage culture when you’ve got something else going on in your life that keeps you busy, occupied, satisfied and striving for something else?

Oh and I promised that this rant would be gay. So here goes: Penis.

 

[HotDogJoe]

So this guy worked for the FBI, CIA and the secret service??

It's time to pack up our end nodes, folks. We bit off more than we can chew this time

 

[guest]

redditors eating up his LARP
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Those agencies notoriously don’t work well together. So when he “coordinates” these investigations, is he that high up in one of these agencies or multiple agencies that he’s in charge of organizing investigations, or is he claiming that he organizes investigations that involve multiple of these agencies?

And why in the hell would you sign an NDA with an agency that can literally make you disappear and then brag about your work with them?

 

[guest]

We bit off more than we can chew this time

I know someone who’s never had that problem.

 

[EllenTorquehorn]

Those agencies notoriously don’t work well together. So when he “coordinates” these investigations, is he that high up in one of these agencies or multiple agencies that he’s in charge of organizing investigations, or is he claiming that he organizes investigations that involve multiple of these agencies?

And why in the hell would you sign an NDA with an agency that can literally make you disappear and then brag about your work with them?

It means - at best - someone from one of those agencies asked his boss for a piece of data and it was tubby's job to fetch it by running a Very Important SQL query, and thus he now thinks he "worked with the Secret Service"

 

[Opesterino]

i been thinking a bit about our new friend here.. I see he imagines himself as a tough guy, big strong tough guy. well let's just see what all his "friends" and family think about him kicking the hornet's nest and forcing them into the action.

and listen you fat piece of shit.. your wife looks like fucking biscuit dough. embarrassing

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

redditors eating up his LARP
View attachment 103313
View attachment 103312

I said it before but this guy is insane. I think the years of playing video games has convinced him he’s all the things he says and more. FBI, CIA, AND the secret service but signed NDAs so I can’t tell you I worked for them. He really thinks he’s some super secret agent saving the world yet is a big fat fuck on disability

 

[guest]

It means - at best - someone from one of those agencies asked his boss for a piece of data and it was tubby's job to fetch it by running a Very Important SQL query, and thus he now thinks he "worked with the Secret Service"

I like how most of the crimes he claims he has put people away for don’t fall under the jurisdiction of most of these agencies and bureaus.

 

[SFWA liaison]

this little trick called being morbidly obese so your skin is stretched out

 

[guest]

I said it before but this guy is insane. I think the years of playing video games has convinced him he’s all the things he says and more. FBI, CIA, AND the secret service but signed NDAs so I can’t tell you I worked for them. He really thinks he’s some super secret agent saving the world yet is a big fat fuck on disability

He might be mentally ill, I don’t know. Lord knows I am. But I don’t think he actually believes what he is saying, which is why he keeps throwing up smokescreens like the NDA’s that he supposedly signed and that his engagement is low on purpose because he’s a secret agent and they are famous for low engagement on social media for reasons of secrecy.

People who believe their delusions generally don’t set up excuses that explain why they aren’t true. Not on social media, anyway.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

We really fucked up this time, guys.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

Those agencies notoriously don’t work well together. So when he “coordinates” these investigations, is he that high up in one of these agencies or multiple agencies that he’s in charge of organizing investigations, or is he claiming that he organizes investigations that involve multiple of these agencies?

And why in the hell would you sign an NDA with an agency that can literally make you disappear and then brag about your work with them?

That’s my favorite “there’s no record of me working for the FBI, CIA, and Secret Service because I was on super confidential top secret assignments that I signed NDA’s for but I’ll tell any stranger on the internet about it to make myself sound important!”

I bet with Microsoft he signed an NDA because he did work related to video games and took that as he’s very important and doing top secret work for the government. I work in banking and I’ve signed plenty of NDA’s and it’s pretty common. This is like someone working in an anti-money laundering bank position and telling people you personally put away international terrorists when all you do is mark something suspicious and send a generic report.

 

[Nana's stent]

He does the nickname thing, too

of course he's a retard libfag like pat there all cut from the same turd

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I like how most of the crimes he claims he has put people away for don’t fall under the jurisdiction of most of these agencies and bureaus.

He also claims he’s personally been at their sentencing hearings to watch them cry and beg for mercy when they are found guilty of their crimes. Then everyone claps for Shane.