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Weirdest place you jacked off?

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potatopeeler63

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-Airplane bathroom
-Under a blanket in third seat of tahoe in family griswald esque cross country trip
-In the car of a parking lot surrounded by fields of kids playing soccer while waiting for my mon and brother (i was like 14)
 
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LingerLonger

LingerLonger

Still spreading the O&A virus
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One of my best friends work high up in Major League Baseball. He handles major PR disasters like when cheating scandals happen, sexual harassment, steroids, and so on. He was one of the people in charge of PR over the whole Reese McGuire jacking off in his car in a public parking lot event.

This idiot Reese McGuire for the Blue Jays, was watching porn on his cell phone, sitting in the driver's seat of his car, in a parking lot, and jacking off. With people shopping and walking around him. In broad daylight. Literally dozens of people saw him jacking it like maniac and of course called the cops. Dude was arrested and immediately someone from the police notified MLB because the cops get huge money from MLB during spring training to 'watch out' for the players. Reese McGuire was a first round pick and was well known so he could easily get laid with a woman or some baseball groupie.

MLB went overtime with the PR work. He got his charges reduced to a $500 fine with minimum criminal charges. And now he has a PR person whose entire job is to try to scrub the internet of his jacking off in a car incident. You read his wikipedia article and it basically says he exposed his organs as if it could be some accident.

Imagine being a pro athlete first round pick. Having any young woman ready to basically service you at all times. And instead you are jacking off to cell phone porn like a complete fucking loser. In a fucking parking lot surrounded by families.
 
MunchausenByProxy

MunchausenByProxy

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In middle school when I was still shooting blanks, I had a class where I sat in the only row with 5 people and the rest had 4. So I was the furthest back by myself. Girl in front of me had huge knockers and would stretch back in a way that I could see right down her shirt. One day I over the sweatpants jerked off while staring at her tits, no cleanup required.
 
soulbrotherman#1

soulbrotherman#1

Specifically a quarter retarded
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Sgt. Barnes said:
In middle school when I was still shooting blanks, I had a class where I sat in the only row with 5 people and the rest had 4. So I was the furthest back by myself. Girl in front of me had huge knockers and would stretch back in a way that I could see right down her shirt. One day I over the sweatpants jerked off while staring at her tits, no cleanup required.
Click to expand...
You did what retards do
 
G

guest

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LingerLonger said:
One of my best friends work high up in Major League Baseball. He handles major PR disasters like when cheating scandals happen, sexual harassment, steroids, and so on. He was one of the people in charge of PR over the whole Reese McGuire jacking off in his car in a public parking lot event.

This idiot Reese McGuire for the Blue Jays, was watching porn on his cell phone, sitting in the driver's seat of his car, in a parking lot, and jacking off. With people shopping and walking around him. In broad daylight. Literally dozens of people saw him jacking it like maniac and of course called the cops. Dude was arrested and immediately someone from the police notified MLB because the cops get huge money from MLB during spring training to 'watch out' for the players. Reese McGuire was a first round pick and was well known so he could easily get laid with a woman or some baseball groupie.

MLB went overtime with the PR work. He got his charges reduced to a $500 fine with minimum criminal charges. And now he has a PR person whose entire job is to try to scrub the internet of his jacking off in a car incident. You read his wikipedia article and it basically says he exposed his organs as if it could be some accident.

Imagine being a pro athlete first round pick. Having any young woman ready to basically service you at all times. And instead you are jacking off to cell phone porn like a complete fucking loser. In a fucking parking lot surrounded by families.
Click to expand...
I was on the edge of my seat the whole time reading this.
 
Smeckler's Powder

Smeckler's Powder

Sweet powder eases the pain
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Sgt. Barnes said:
In middle school when I was still shooting blanks, I had a class where I sat in the only row with 5 people and the rest had 4. So I was the furthest back by myself. Girl in front of me had huge knockers and would stretch back in a way that I could see right down her shirt. One day I over the sweatpants jerked off while staring at her tits, no cleanup required.
Click to expand...

That's what's up
 
Cyberatorquer

Cyberatorquer

Five Sink Gangster Cribs
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LingerLonger said:
Imagine being a pro athlete first round pick. Having any young woman ready to basically service you at all times. And instead you are jacking off to cell phone porn like a complete fucking loser. In a fucking parking lot surrounded by families.
Click to expand...
in every professional big league, it is of critical importance to teach rookies how to focus solely on the game at hand.
especially how to gain and maintain a sort of tunnel vision where they can mute all outside stimuli, f.e. roaring crowds.
 
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