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"Volunteered to lifeguars Special Olympics athletes while they trained in the pool" Patrick wanted an excuse to lock lips with a retard lol
- Thread starter Oogie Farts 1488
- Start date
Very credible and not at all self-aggrandizing claim from our fat piggy boy. It must have been his modesty that prevented him from ever mentioning this despite sharing every detail of his life for the last ten years on social media.
He's made these claims before, usually bringing them up during political conversations to sound like he's an expert on something.
Personally I think he's full of shit, fat too.
Personally I think he's full of shit, fat too.
I don't believe he's mentioned doing it for the Special Olympics, though? That's the part that smells like Pat Brand™ bullshit.
Next time he tells it they'll be black transgender special olympians in interracial relationships.
Yeah, like all pathological liars he escalates the lie each time he tells it.
So he admits to sucking at CPR as well? Also, they can have a weak pulse and CPR is performed-- so they're not clinically dead. Why is he such a fat fucking retard about everything?
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Does everyone here seriously already forget that David Hoggselhoff let 2 people die under his lifeguarding supervision? And he's now volunteering to lifeguard for people who can't walk in a straight line nevermind swim? And he thinks he's qualified to do this? And he's posting this on Twitter? Does he not understand that if one of those retarded kids died under his watch, the parents could see in his tweet history that he'd already killed two swimmers and immediately sue this retard-pool for negligently accepting unqualified volunteers?
I have never in my time on this planet encountered such an unfathomably unselfaware individual. He's like the fucking autistic Bigfoot.
I have never in my time on this planet encountered such an unfathomably unselfaware individual. He's like the fucking autistic Bigfoot.
CanISitOnJonsLap
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Two things:
A. "I learned CPR at 15". Volunteer lifeguard programs usually teach CPR at 15 an an enticement for the free labor. You need to recertify the normal lifeguards, so might as well let the pool interns take the same class.
B. "The other lifeguard and I went into counselling over the guilt we felt" - almost sure nobody died, but the other lifeguard? You don't need multiple lifeguards looking after the same section, it's as wasteful as putting two bus drivers in every city bus. His entire experience seems to be as a lil' lifeguard helper pretending to have the same authority as "the other lifeguard".
Honestly? I think he might have spent less than a week enrolled in a volunteer lifeguard program at 15, because his parents didn't want his lazy ass sitting around all summer. He thought it would be fun and exciting like Baywatch, but it was just grunt work and the occasional lil' lifeguard helper. He might not even lasted a day, we all know the Target story.
So he did what Patrick does best: quits knowing that technically he could call himself a lifeguard. Then it's time to make up tragic stories about failing to save a 6-year-old (which would have made the newspaper and a civil suit) because he wants to be a complex protagonist with a compelling backstory. I held that little girl in my arms as she took her last breath, did you stupid?
He stitched up a leg wound with string and a basketball needle.
FatGuyver
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Bams_seed is our Wendy Peffercorn.
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[URL unfurl="true"]https://makeagif.com/gif/fat-man-is-jumping-in-the-pool-tsunami-zkJ2B6[/URL]
SmellenShoehorn
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Here's another one of Fatso's Fat Technicalities: "I've had first aid, lifeguard and CPR training for a long time"
What that really means is "I got first aid, lifeguard and CPR training a long time ago, so I would not be certified to do any of it now without re-training first."
But he says it like he's a veteran at it and it's an accomplishment.
I mean I don't know for sure, but pat definitely forced the retards to blow him. while calling them waterheads. allegedly
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Yea, THATS why he went into 'counseling'.