Unmined gems in Pat's motion

[Meownaw]

He was actually proud of writing all that. He really thought he made a case for himself. He just forgot it wasnt a debate and all they want to know is how and when he is going to pay.

His cunt of a mother really did a number on this faggot.

 

[firstimelongtime]

When can we expect the Tort Wheeler, Esq. LARP?

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

Imagine writing all this contradictory horseshit knowing that at least 200 people would be pointing and laughing at it.

What must that feel like?

I really should reach out to Pat on Twitter one of these days and ask him.

 

[SFWA liaison]

When can we expect the Tort Wheeler, Esq. LARP?

maybe that's why he's learning Spanish with Duolingo to apply for a job at Julius's law firm

 

[bantadant]

I liked the reference to the Brewer's "home opener," because that's exactly how a real lawyer would have referred to the game

 

[BudDickman]

It's hilariously classless. He put in so much pretentious legalese-sounding gibberish but he couldn't help himself from sounding like a dumb teenager through half of the document either. The man's a parody of himself.

He probably thinks that this kind of language is powerful and resonant and that this will revolutionize legal writing. Being a Dunning-Kruger retard, he's too stupid to understand what lawyers do and thinks they just sling legal jargon back and forth.

And here he is with this document that shows both a mastery of the legal profession with phrases like "information and belief", but also an understanding of the human condition all too devoid from legal writing. After this, every law firm will have a science fiction writer on staff to help draft motions that stir the emotions.

 

[Officer Chase]

It's hilariously classless. He put in so much pretentious legalese-sounding gibberish but he couldn't help himself from sounding like a dumb teenager through half of the document either. The man's a parody of himself.

Hush stlaker child his dramatic prose frames the terrorism he bravely endures in it's maximum measure.

 

[Officer Chase]

He probably thinks that this kind of language is powerful and resonant and that this will revolutionize legal writing. Being a Dunning-Kruger retard, he's too stupid to understand what lawyers do and thinks they just sling legal jargon back and forth.

And here he is with this document that shows both a mastery of the legal profession with phrases like "information and belief", but also an understanding of the human condition all too devoid from legal writing. After this, every law firm will have a science fiction writer on staff to help draft motions that stir the emotions.

This is another home run. This is exactly what he thought.

 

[Stent]

Has anyone got a pdf of Pat's court homework assignment yet?

 

[MonsterSteve]

My favorite was how much he contradicts himself.

"Child, I have a right to confront my accuser!" (Even though no one accused you of being anything but fat).

Later in the document.

"Child, we have unmasked John Doe and he is known as John Gibney".

Ok which is it, fatso?

 

[Sputnik]

Pat is profoundly stupid and again i gotta tap out. When you read that and he is dead ass serious with that DRIVEL you can’t think he is anything but handicapped. Pat since I know you are here, your lawyers are laughing at you… like I know this place, stlakers and terrorism but for real. That document is the laughing stock of every single legal professional who has come in contact with it.