Unapologetically Masculine Automotive

[UnPRePared]

Now, fellas, I may not be the wisest man out there, but I posit a question to you all: when you think of a "man's" vehicle, would this fall under that category?

I present to you, a Fiat 500 Gucci Edition, similar to the one owned by our Joseph Colleen Cumia.

Now, when you are a proud veteran of 36 weeks, you don't need creature comforts...

Look at that snug fit, comfortable for any 6 footer; the richly stitched pleather; and a narrow dashboard that really lets you see the Joseph Lane. It's almost like one is driving a go cart, except a go cart has a better chance of surviving a crash.

There's no other kind of ass that screams "Under the table, I take CASH" than the back end of a 500. Here in Europe, we love our hatchbacks - myself included, when they have fucking style. Thankfully, at least it has easy access. Like Joe.

Bloody Christ, look at the sad scared face on this cunt of a car. Like a frightened child told not to tell his parents as the fat faux biker threatens you to spit right into his flask "for later". Europe has had some ugly cars, but they still had character, like the old Scirocco. This has the soulless look of a Big Apple Ranch bottom on their first night.


Carbuyer in the UK said this car was "an expensive special edition that is aimed at very style conscious buyers." Jolene has no style, is hardly conscious, and since it was Anthony's money, wasn't even a buyer. So, why this vehicle in a country of truck drivers?

Especially when this was clearly what he wanted:

 

[Zeroman]

Now, fellas, I may not be the wisest man out there, but I posit a question to you all: when you think of a "man's" vehicle, would this fall under that category?

I present to you, a Fiat 500 Gucci Edition, similar to the one owned by our Joseph Colleen Cumia.

Now, when you are a proud veteran of 36 weeks, you don't need creature comforts...

Look at that snug fit, comfortable for any 6 footer; the richly stitched pleather; and a narrow dashboard that really lets you see the Joseph Lane. It's almost like one is driving a go cart, except a go cart has a better chance of surviving a crash.

There's no other kind of ass that screams "Under the table, I take CASH" than the back end of a 500. Here in Europe, we love our hatchbacks - myself included, when they have fucking style. Thankfully, at least it has easy access. Like Joe.

Bloody Christ, look at the sad scared face on this cunt of a car. Like a frightened child told not to tell his parents as the fat faux biker threatens you to spit right into his flask "for later". Europe has had some ugly cars, but they still had character, like the old Scirocco. This has the soulless look of a Big Apple Ranch bottom on their first night.


Carbuyer in the UK said this car was "an expensive special edition that is aimed at very style conscious buyers." Jolene has no style, is hardly conscious, and since it was Anthony's money, wasn't even a buyer. So, why this vehicle in a country of truck drivers?

Especially when this was clearly what he wanted:

Nice gig vehicle, stupid.

 

[Jims_Maroon_Pants]

Of all the cars available in the USA, a Fiat was the last brand I would think he'd want. I know he's Italian but he's American too and I would have sworn he'd would have had some sort of American car. The fact that he also got the Gucci edition perplexes me even more.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

In Joe's tiny, sweaty brain, he figured that driving around in the gayest possible car would make him seem mysterious, unique, and unconcerned about what others think of him. He thought the reaction would be "whoa, look at that grizzled, hard-ass biker/military veteran, driving around in that dainty little faggot car. He's just too cool to give a fuck!". And I'm sure he probably still thinks this.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

My assumption is Joe got some sort of “deal” for it. Whether that means it’s under table blow jobs, or he actually just got scammed who knows. I’d guess both. I know he has/had a truck at one point so.

 

[bumbum8]

Just imagine that thing trying to skitter across those icy roads. It screams high school girls'first car.

Maybe his brother let him have it after one of his prey's dad rightfully chased him away

 

[MySecondFatterAccount]

 

[1073waaf]

N-person

 

[Zeroman]

 

[UnPRePared]

View attachment 79685

So so so so so so YOU find something comical about my appearance while I'm driving my AUTOmoBILE!?!

 

[guest]

My assumption is Joe got some sort of “deal” for it. Whether that means it’s under table blow jobs, or he actually just got scammed who knows. I’d guess both. I know he has/had a truck at one point so.

Has to be. Whatever shitbox he had before that probably broke down, and someone sold him this cheap. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Dawn.

 

[UnPRePared]

The funnier aspect about this, outside of it being the 500 (a joke of a vehicle even here, regardless of its kitsch character) is the fact that this "hard ass" Bovine has the bloody Gucci edition.

You carry your military records in your matching Gucci bag, too, you fucking receptacle?

 

[UnPRePared]

I know he's Italian

Something something " True Romance Sicilian scene"...

 

[Jizz]

the new electric model looks cool. brother joe should upgrade!

 

[Nana's stent]

Now, fellas, I may not be the wisest man out there, but I posit a question to you all: when you think of a "man's" vehicle, would this fall under that category?

I present to you, a Fiat 500 Gucci Edition, similar to the one owned by our Joseph Colleen Cumia.

Now, when you are a proud veteran of 36 weeks, you don't need creature comforts...

Look at that snug fit, comfortable for any 6 footer; the richly stitched pleather; and a narrow dashboard that really lets you see the Joseph Lane. It's almost like one is driving a go cart, except a go cart has a better chance of surviving a crash.

There's no other kind of ass that screams "Under the table, I take CASH" than the back end of a 500. Here in Europe, we love our hatchbacks - myself included, when they have fucking style. Thankfully, at least it has easy access. Like Joe.

Bloody Christ, look at the sad scared face on this cunt of a car. Like a frightened child told not to tell his parents as the fat faux biker threatens you to spit right into his flask "for later". Europe has had some ugly cars, but they still had character, like the old Scirocco. This has the soulless look of a Big Apple Ranch bottom on their first night.


Carbuyer in the UK said this car was "an expensive special edition that is aimed at very style conscious buyers." Jolene has no style, is hardly conscious, and since it was Anthony's money, wasn't even a buyer. So, why this vehicle in a country of truck drivers?

Especially when this was clearly what he wanted:

 

[Consensual Rapist]

the new electric model looks cool. brother joe should upgrade!

With Anthony paying 8 dollars a month for a blue checkmark, there will be no new car under the tree for poor ol Joe, sadly.

 

[ElectricLightKazooII]

Of all the cars available in the USA, a Fiat was the last brand I would think he'd want. I know he's Italian but he's American too and I would have sworn he'd would have had some sort of American car. The fact that he also got the Gucci edition perplexes me even more.

And he even grew up in the "Fix it again, Tony!" era the first time Fiat's were in the US. I can't imagine the issues the transmission has from hauling his banana tits and Chinese guitars around.

 

[UnPRePared]

And he even grew up in the "Fix it again, Tony!" era the first time Fiat's were in the US. I can't imagine the issues the transmission has from hauling his banana tits and Chinese guitars around.

I have a fondness for compacts and subcompacts. One, they've always been common in my area of the world, and two, they can be a lot of fun to throw around (those of you who remember my story about the car Steve and I destroyed during down time between shows know I'm not kidding).

I have never considered these to be fun cars. They lack the dynamics of a Mini and the suspension of a Volkswagen, even a bloody Vauxhall. I don't "genderize" shit usually, I consider myself more open minded than that... But I look at that car and it screams "fifteen year old girl".

Granted, it's partially because that's roughly the height you'd need to be to fit in one, but the styling does it no favors.

If Joe really thinks he's still in the closet, he took the door off the hinges when he bought this.

 

[Cyberatorquer]

You are yet to buy Gosia a Gucci handbag, of course it must blow your mind to see another musician (you like to belittle) driving a Gucci car. How petty.

 

[UnPRePared]

You are yet to buy Gosia a Gucci handbag, of course it must blow your mind to see another musician (you like to belittle) driving a Gucci car. How petty.

Gosia isn't about trinkets, child. But I do spoil her in many ways. I gave her noise cancelling headphones so she'd never have to hear me play my music at home.

Quietly, Atalker. Quietly is ALWAYS the key.