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Releasing a Christmas book in spring seems like a smart idea. *points at head*
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Time for A CHRISTMAS CARNAGE to go out into the wild!
- Thread starter Blurry Niki Enthusiast
- Start date
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He’s so close to send Carl to prison.
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lol he’s already assigning full blame for the failure on his agent. He wrote a best seller, he’s done his part!
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Not the first time Pat has said something like this. I expect history to repeat itself.
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He's hoping it will be the hipsters who bought Pride and Prejudice and Zombies -- which was 2009.
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Your commitment to demonstrating how much better your life is to Pat is the best bit here.
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"The Asian street prostitute lowered her head in shame. 'You no like me?', she asked in her broken English.
'Blimey if I don't!', Tiny Tim exclaimed. 'Tuppence for me tally whacker?'"
- A Christmas Carnage, pg. 87
By Patrick S Tomlinson
'Blimey if I don't!', Tiny Tim exclaimed. 'Tuppence for me tally whacker?'"
- A Christmas Carnage, pg. 87
By Patrick S Tomlinson
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People here are acting like he doesn't have a huge Twitter following.
He's been teasing this for a while so when it finally gets published how many of those loyal followers will buy a copy? Like.... 10%?
He's been teasing this for a while so when it finally gets published how many of those loyal followers will buy a copy? Like.... 10%?
Honoria
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I read an article a few months ago about publishers hiring people to write novels based on social media or Youtube numbers and they all tanked. It doesn't translate, and it doesn't help that Pat's followers are mostly bots.
I assume his "agent" is paid a fee by Pat to go through the motions. He sends the book out, everyone ignores it, if someone's interested they look him up online and back away. He still gets money.
I assume his "agent" is paid a fee by Pat to go through the motions. He sends the book out, everyone ignores it, if someone's interested they look him up online and back away. He still gets money.
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He got 93 likes on twitter and decided that this was a book that needed to be written.
Just read the WIP so far (just taste). Tell me this isn't a complete banger! I can't wait to review it!!
Also WWAWD taking screenshots using your phone?
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It's only a matter of time before he burns his bridge with his agent like he does everyone else. He seems pretty careful not to trash his agent though. His agent is a big name and Fatso has to know if he loses this agent he's screwed forever.
When this stupid Tiny Tim book fails he'll definitely blame his trolls and maybe the MPD and FBI too. Nothing is ever his fault.
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I find it bizarre that his agent is editing and making him do re-writes on his book but after reading this dreck, I think literally anyone who saw it would ask him to do re-writes. It's legitimately awful. I'm purposely reading it in order to mock Pat, which I enjoy doing, and it's still a slog. "sterling pounds", the written out cockney, the contrived dramatic writing...I can't wait for this to come out. It's almost worth setting up a fake publishing company and paying Pat to ensure that it gets published.He got 93 likes on twitter and decided that this was a book that needed to be written.
Just read the WIP so far (just taste). Tell me this isn't a complete banger! I can't wait to review it!!
Also WWAWD taking screenshots using your phone?
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If any actual Brits read that trash they'll either be insulted by it as though they're being mocked by a yank hayseed or they'll be insulted by it because they'll think he's trying to be funny and he's nawt funnay.
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Wish he'd go into the wild like Chris McCandless
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His writing is so terrible it actually gives me a headache trying to understand it, and I read a lot. I wanted to for the joke but after re-reading the first 2 sentences 3 times and still having no idea wtf he's talking about I tapped out.
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In his wip he can't even spell ebenezer
Doubt pat has even read the original. Just listened to it from stage and film adaptations.
Fat
Doubt pat has even read the original. Just listened to it from stage and film adaptations.
Fat
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Yes that fad has past. Remember Abe Lincoln vampire hunter? Yeah no one does
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I had the same problem. That first chunk is ridiculous. He definitely had the thesaurus out for "endeavored", "imbue", and "countenance". If you come across the word "countenance" in 2024, you're either reading a hundred year old book, a book that was translated into English, or a pile of shit. I don't care that he's channeling Dickens. It reads like shit.
Also, he has a weird fascination with making oblique references to the previous sentence instead of just writing clearly. "Which he'd endeavored to be" = fragment referencing "be[ing] honest", and if you're going for that Dickens tone, don't use the contraction "he'd". "One of the many earthly virtues..." it takes like five readings to understand that he's referring to "honesty" from two sentences previous. "Marley among them" is another fragment and it takes like five readings to understand that the "them" he's referring to are "The Spirits" from the previous sentence (and previous paragraph no less).
That's just the first five sentences (and two of them are just fragments) and I've already got a bunch of notes. What a nightmare this awful book would be to edit.