The only liquor store near me is run by a fucking asshole, so I don't wanna give them money for whiskey.

[BonnieMcFarlaneMe2]

Two booze buying stories ......

First on a random Friday I had a day off work. I got up my normal time and had a bunch of little errands to take care of. Normal, usual suburban crap that my wife would normally take care of while I was at work - bank, dry cleaner, pharmacy, etc. Last stop was the liquor store. Well, I get everything done and get to liquor store at 950 and the store didn't open til 10. I'm just sitting in my car, in the first parking spot by the door to the store, waiting. Once the clock struck 10 the owner unlocked the door and waved me in like he was REALLY happy to see me.

Second story - same liquor store sometime later - I went through a stretch where I had not been drinking for maybe 2 or 3 months. It was a combination of just too much going on and my wife putting me on this diet where you couldn't have any alcohol the first month or something. Eventually I made my way back to the liquor store. As I'm waiting in line one of the cashiers sees me and has a big huge smile and says "Hhhiiiiiiii!!! Where you been?" I'm looking around to see who she' talking to. Let's just say I don't give off a vibe where strangers feel comfortable talking to me.

Anyway, I get to the counter and she's all "I haven't seen you in a while. If I'm working on Thursday nights I always make sure the big bottles of Evan Williams are fully stocked because I know you'll be be here every Friday buying the same thing every week (for the record I was in the store - at best - every OTHER Friday ........ just saying ).

The funny thing is if you put the cashier in a police lineup and offered me a million dollars if I could pick out "the girl from the liquor store" I would not know who she was.

All that to tell everyone ....... After that I started shopping at the big liquor warehouse a couple towns down the road.

I’ve noticed that they employ a lot of people at liquor stores to say hi because they have a lot of theft. It’s cold where I live so I have my hood up a lot. Apparently this makes me look suspicious.

 

[Brooke Shields]

if you don't know the location of multiple liquor stores so you never enter the same one in a week then I'm sorry, you just like alcohol