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But on the other hand, I want to get [checks notes] "hammered".
This fucking sucks.
This fucking sucks.
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The only liquor store near me is run by a fucking asshole, so I don't wanna give them money for whiskey.
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WAWWAD buying booze before noon?
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[MEDIA=youtube]AvHMEDmreJA[/MEDIA]
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What makes him an asshole?
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lots of reasons.
i needed to use their phone once and he just said "nope" and walked away from me. i also see him yelling at the staff a lot.
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If I had to take a guess, he’s probably rude when Nikki’s Bum shows up shitfaced at 9 am to buy liquor. This is not at all based on my own personal experiences.
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Why did you need to use their phone?
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I can't remember, I was really drunk. Ha ha ha holee shit...
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Charging your phone at a liquor store is a boss move.
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I was always coming up with some bullshit when I'd be in there early. "Yeah, got some family in town for ( X) gotta stock up!" Like anyone's family is worried about a handle of Fleischmann's at 10 AM on a Wednesday morning.
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Hahah they don’t care, they know the deal. “I have family in town. Give me your finest plastic jug vodka.”
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The Stanhope 'plastic jug vodka 'cause there ain't no other kind'?
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Yeah, later on I just said "good morning." Slightly less humiliating. What do they give a shit if you're back for your second pint before noon? They're open for a reason.
Hell yeah. I am a swill vodka connoisseur. Fleischmann's is the worst by far. Potter's was rough, Nikolai was PFG. Popov is the king of the cheap vodkas.
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[MEDIA=youtube]j4lTazX3asg[/MEDIA]
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TAAKA is Russian for cheap.
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Holy shit. Can't believe I haven't seen that, I love those guys and it's dead-on.
I never had the pleasure of trying that one. I absolutely would have, though. I just remembered another really bad one. McCormick's. That shit was gross.
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As someone who briefly worked in an off-license (liquor store) I can assure you no one cares. If you're in there more than once a week, you're just considered another alkie. In fact the only ones we "judged" were the ones who made small talk and tried to justify their purchases ("I'm having a few friends over!" Are ya? Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday?) The RADs were the ones who just wordlessly put their litre bottle of vodka on the counter.
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Oh yeah I know now that they didn't give a fuck. I stopped the bullshit excuses fairly early on. It's debasing yourself and insulting to the other person. Who gives a fuck?
I had a guy who I talked about the Sopranos with, he was watching it for the first time. Perfect kind of casual acquaintance. Get my booze, exchange a couple sentences about the show, leave. He's busy and I'm getting the shakes, so it's gotta be quick.
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Did you tell him to shut his hummus hole before calling him a curry monkey?
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Two booze buying stories ......
First on a random Friday I had a day off work. I got up my normal time and had a bunch of little errands to take care of. Normal, usual suburban crap that my wife would normally take care of while I was at work - bank, dry cleaner, pharmacy, etc. Last stop was the liquor store. Well, I get everything done and get to liquor store at 950 and the store didn't open til 10. I'm just sitting in my car, in the first parking spot by the door to the store, waiting. Once the clock struck 10 the owner unlocked the door and waved me in like he was REALLY happy to see me.
Second story - same liquor store sometime later - I went through a stretch where I had not been drinking for maybe 2 or 3 months. It was a combination of just too much going on and my wife putting me on this diet where you couldn't have any alcohol the first month or something. Eventually I made my way back to the liquor store. As I'm waiting in line one of the cashiers sees me and has a big huge smile and says "Hhhiiiiiiii!!! Where you been?" I'm looking around to see who she' talking to. Let's just say I don't give off a vibe where strangers feel comfortable talking to me.
Anyway, I get to the counter and she's all "I haven't seen you in a while. If I'm working on Thursday nights I always make sure the big bottles of Evan Williams are fully stocked because I know you'll be be here every Friday buying the same thing every week (for the record I was in the store - at best - every OTHER Friday ........ just saying ).
The funny thing is if you put the cashier in a police lineup and offered me a million dollars if I could pick out "the girl from the liquor store" I would not know who she was.
All that to tell everyone ....... After that I started shopping at the big liquor warehouse a couple towns down the road.