The episode where Helga goes to therapy (deep for kids’ telly) delved into this, and concluded similarly. Vurrry good episode.
Though iirc it went a step further and even suggested Helga was just using a fantasy mental image of Arnold and a future relationship with him/his goodness as an avoidance tactic, so she didn’t have to face up to who really was, nor confront or disown her shite excuse for family life as you say.
Helga wasn’t pretty, nor agreeable nor very sane. She wasn’t even popular like megabitch Rhonda. Even so, a few boys in their class did show interest in Helga or spoke to her like an equal. But she ignored and derided them all, because unavailable spacey blank morality pet Arnold consumed her desperate attention, made her feel less grubby by association, and worked as an idealised distraction or a canvas to project onto. We’ve all done the same, it’s relatable if infuriating to watch.
Arnold for his part wasn’t even that good or saintly; ‘being nice’, remaining unflappable and having kind intentions doesn’t mean you’re always doing what’s best for other people or yourself. He had as many avoidant traits as Helga, they’re just expressing them differently. Yet where Helga was punished or criticised or mocked over it, he was praised. He couldn’t keep it real and couldn’t help sticking his nose into other peoples’ business instead of handling his own, and I for one find that hateful.
It’s why I also loathe the finale Jungle
movie so much. It contravenes one of the main points of the show—that you don’t properly know someone via pure proximity or what you think you perceive about them, and you never truly know what someone’s going through unless you both respect them and call them on their bullshit. Intimacy vs connection vs living by chance in the same neighbourhood are not equivalent. Plus, moving on or finding new people & challenges are what makes you stronger, not clinging to childhood delusion.
E.g. Arnold needed to accept and let go of his parents’ memory (even if they were still alive in some arsepull retcon, he didn’t know that for years), just as Helga needed to let go of the idea that some man or boy could rescue her from her horrible folks and her deep well of self-loathing.
I come back to it, though—Gerald donkey dick (at least, when he’d grown up and gone to highschool/College). Chinese Phoebe wasn’t just book-genius to lock that down early doors before their growth spurts and before anyone else caught on.
Tbf though I moreso fuck with Pepper Ann and As Told By Ginger (enforced: I have little sisters).
Nicky Little is basically the preteen girl version of me.
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