Sex that you regret the most

[TheRevAlJolson]

How was the body

She had a muffin top. She was thick. Not bad, not great.

Also

 

[Hudson Margera-Hughes]

The girl who worked with me at the Shell gas station on 3rd shift. I was a FT college student and she was a late-20's "lifer". Skinny but truly hideous. She looked like a cross between a beat Tilda Swinton and Michael Rapaport. She lived with the female manager bc she was basically homeless. Their living situation was obese female mgr, beat Tilda and fat mgr's two little kids (black father of the mgrs kids was in prison). The mental image that you have of the situation is 100% correct. I go over to her house to buy weed and I don't even want to sit down on the couch, lest I get roach juice or something on my clothing. One of the little niglets was doing laundry as part of his chores I guess and comes running into the living room with Tilda's shit-stained thong to make fun of her. So gross.

Ended up fucking her in the walk-in beer cooler. Totally sober, I have no defense really. I can't describe how loose her pussy was. Didn't even seem like it would be possible. Really, really gross. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I didn't get herpes at minimum.

She ended up inventing some really bizarre lie wherein I allegedly told her that I was only working at a gas station so that I could write a research paper on poor people. She told this to everyone at work after I quit.

"I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I didn't get herpes at minimum."

Witster coming in nicely with a Friday night terror tale of banging out a mental patient coal burner with a snatch so loose you can pick a side... Inside the walk-in cooler no less! TWU

Fawwkin love the Witster!

You banged her after the niglet ran in and clowned her with shit smear panties, nigga?

Anymore details on the clowning? What did the lil nigga say? Anything ghetto funny such as "Dis ratchet gotz dookie in her drawers!?"

 

[Hudson Margera-Hughes]

I fucked a girl with a lazy eye on the dirty carpet of an empty bedroom in someone else's apartment in the middle of the day while they were home. Fuck with me.

Bonus - I also drilled a hole in a folding table and laid down on it with my dick hanging through so this girl I was messing around with could sit under the table and blow me. It's something she really wanted to do, but it was so weird and bad that I couldn't get a rod. My limp dick just kind hung there dangling underneath the table and she didn't know what to do. I held on to that table for way too long after, too. It just sat in my garage as a testament to shame.

Take it back, nigger!

You're not allowed to steal the drilling holes and glory hole dicks bit. That's @midwit 's domain exclusively.

I won't stand for it, neither should he.

I got a chuckle from it though

 

[midwit]

I need the lead up story. Who made the first move?

She had said I was handsome on several occasions and would openly talk about sex/being horny etc. like standard white trash so it was sort of an open invitation type deal. I initiated the actual fucking 100%. To my great shame.

 

[Dark Dan Disciple]

She had said I was handsome on several occasions and would openly talk about sex/being horny etc. like standard white trash so it was sort of an open invitation type deal. I initiated the actual fucking 100%. To my great shame.

MORE! Paint the scene my friend! Was it just another shift, but then she asked to sniff your balls, so you whipped out those stinky but glorious bastards and she got here knees for a lil taste???

 

[midwit]

MORE! Paint the scene my friend! Was it just another shift, but then she asked to sniff your balls, so you whipped out those stinky but glorious bastards and she got here knees for a lil taste???

We had shut the store down for 20 min to clean and do the cigarette count/money transfer. Probably like 4AM, right after the Krispy Kreme guy arrived with fresh donuts but before the truckers and construction wagies came in for their coffee. I was staring at her flat ass, got a rod and tucked it up as one does. Just one of those deals where you're super young and you know that you have an opportunity to fuck so you take it. I grabbed her hips from behind her while she was counting cigarettes in a manner that could only result in either me getting fired or we're fucking. She put one of her hands over mine, rubbed it, and made a noise that was her attempt at being sexy/giving me the green light. I lead her by the hand into the walk-in, bent her over some stacked up cases of beer and hit it with all of my might. Didn't kiss her. Didn't grab her tits. Nothing. She smoked Newports because of course and I could smell her cigarette breathe throughout. 35 cent a pack Wintergreen and Altoids 2 feet from her all night and she never bothered.

 

[cachorro]

One time I fucked this girl many many times over the course of several years and I ended up having to spend a bunch of money on a lawyer and buying her a car to not lose my house and half my shit

 

[quasi101]

I'll let you know once i have sex

 

[Lamont & Tonelli]

Drunk one-nighter with an anorexic pillhead. She was kind of a fun hang but the sex was abominable, couldn't finish and never in my life has the "RUN" light flashed in my head so brightly throughout. Saw her years later with a face tattoo. Her face, not mine.

 

[cachorro]

I'll let you know once i have sex

Dude, you’re Indian. Just rape somebody.

 

[quasi101]

Dude, you’re Indian. Just rape somebody.

Those are like penalty kicks. Still count as a goal. But it's not really the same.

 

[cachorro]

Those are like penalty kicks. Still count as a goal. But it's not really the same.

I’m starting to think you’re not Indian after all!

 

[Dog Eater]

@TheGhostOfAbeVigoda tell the stinky pussy story again!

 

[quasi101]

I’m starting to think you’re not Indian after all!

And that's when your streets are the most vulnerable

 

[guest]

I regret every fat chick I've been with. I'm lucky I've never gotten any diseases. Shoulda just jerked it. Fat girls deserve nothing.

 

[Fishing Bird]

I was on a work trip and going through withdrawals because I couldn’t bring drugs on the flight. A started working on a tinder fatty and ended up going to her place to hookup. I show up sweaty and nauseous and when we started fucking the smell of her sweaty ass mixed with the sickly sweet scent of her eucalyptus mint lotion turned my stomach and I ran out of the room and started puking in her bathroom. She’s crying, telling me to get the fuck out and I do, only to return 5 minutes later because I forgot my glasses.

 

[Imager]

I went through a dry spell and messed around with a real fattie. It didn’t turn into full blown sex but it’s so odd. After that the dry spell ended and it was very easy to pull.

I don’t know how these bitches know but they fucking know. You’d think they’d also know you just made out with a fattie but they don’t know that.

 

[Cuphead]

Hooked up with a girl once who was fawkin hammered and she puked all over my dick while giving me a blowjob.

 

[NoBacon]

Any good stories about your son whom you illicitly record having sex all the time @JebJoh ?

 

[BUBBLER]

Those are like penalty kicks. Still count as a goal. But it's not really the same.

Where's your Wyzzmas spirit?

Of course rape counts