Pretty sure that’s not how things work, Pat

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I’m guessing this is what he tells himself so he doesn’t have a full on meltdown everyday

“Hello, Police? I called a guy named Pat fat on the internet, he said I’m in very big trouble. What’s so funny?”

 

[ViVillHaVin!]

What if you don't live anywhere near milwaukee? Are you expecting me to pay for a 10hr flight to turn myself in?

 

[UnPRePared]

What if you don't live anywhere near milwaukee? Are you expecting me to pay for a 10hr flight to turn myself in?

I'm in the middle of a tour - is Hooligans going to serve me their "fresh, home cooked" food while I'm doin' time in the cell block?


"No, baby aTalker childT, you cannoT parTake in Hooligans SalT Lick Surprise Chowder."

 

[Will Tate]

I'm in the middle of a tour - is Hooligans going to serve me their "fresh, home cooked" food while I'm doin' time in the cell block?


"No, baby aTalker childT, you cannoT parTake in Hooligans SalT Lick Surprise Chowder."

Hoolie's for you never, rock star-child.

 

[guest]

Are you implying that if a random unverified account on twitter tells me that I'm in big trouble, I'm NOT obligated to contact the local PD of the random unverified twitter user and turn myself in to find out what I'll be charged with?

That would save a betitted fat fagtard a whole lot of effort in proving a crime. Probably make him the most powerful man on earth. Fat also.

 

[Dennis Denuto]

What if you don't live anywhere near milwaukee? Are you expecting me to pay for a 10hr flight to turn myself in?

If you start telling him you live in random places he won't believe you. I have a contact who sent Pat his real actual address once and pat just replied "no stlaker it isn't" and went on with his day

 

[ViVillHaVin!]

If you start telling him you live in random places he won't believe you. I have a contact who sent Pat his real actual address once and pat just replied "no stlaker it isn't" and went on with his day

We don't even extradite terrorists where I'm from. I'll take my chances

 

[BoomerSperg]

What if you don't live anywhere near milwaukee? Are you expecting me to pay for a 10hr flight to turn myself in?

The longer you wait the worse things get for you, child. Enjoy your expanding prison sentence. We. Will.

 

[ViVillHaVin!]

The longer you wait the worse things get for you, child. Enjoy your expanding prison sentence. We. Will.

Mäh, calling a "public figure" fat isn't really a crime

 

[RickReternal]

Has anyone ever nailed Jello stomach to the wall about the fact that he's known Dan's address for at least a year, but Dan is still breathing free air and closing huge software deals?

 

[Udders]

I'm willing to bet the MPD would LOVE to get 50 calls from pests inquiring about turning ourselves in at the behest of Patrick S. Tomlinson, please don't do that guys.

 

[Will Tate]

I'm willing to bet the MPD would LOVE to get 50 calls from pests inquiring about turning ourselves in at the behest of Patrick S. Tomlinson, please don't do that guys.

But if you must, at least don't ask to speak to Brian Laroque, who Pat emailed to cry about us making fun of his dead lizard while the city was burned by rioters.

 

[Honey Badger]

I don’t think Pat understands he’s impeding his own case. Hell, this one Redditor was giving helpful advice this morning and got the same push-off response

 

[RickReternal]

I don’t think Pat understands he’s impeding his own case. Hell, this one Redditor was giving helpful advice this morning and got the same push-off response

View attachment 123739View attachment 123740View attachment 123741

Why is that Redditor nmbeong such an asshole? Ugh, poor piggy.

 

[N64 Cube]

What if you don't live anywhere near milwaukee? Are you expecting me to pay for a 10hr flight to turn myself in?

No need to fly here child. They will arrest you on the Tarmac

 

[ViVillHaVin!]

No need to fly here child. They will arrest you on the Tarmac

 

[SFWA liaison]

nothing says "your life is over, walls are closing in, prison imminent" like begging his atalkers to turn themselves in

I'm starting to suspect his overconfidence is just phony posturing to compensate for being a huge sissy

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

“The police are hunting you down, and your freedom is coming to end. Now if you could do me a big favor please go and turn yourself in so you can be charged with many crimes I can’t tell you. Enjoy Prison.”

Not a very serious or scary threat if you ask me

 

[stealthygeek]

Has anyone ever nailed Jello stomach to the wall about the fact that he's known Dan's address for at least a year, but Dan is still breathing free air and closing huge software deals?

 

[HotDogJoe]

He's legitimately pitiful. This is basically just him saying "we have nothing".