Pat's playing the long game so he can kill Niki.

Salted Earth Truffle

Eric Hildeman poked my no-no hole when I was 5
Too bad Niki doesn't have a book he can say he finished.
“When my second, better wife tragically took an, uh, accidental overdose of antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication and Vagisil, she was working on her magnum opus: a blog post for a local HVAC company about the benefits of blasting oversized air vents with high concentrations of methane gas from sustainable third-world sources. This topic was a longtime passion of Niki’s — one we shared and spent thousands of hours exploring together. At great personal sacrifice to myself, I will dedicate the rest of my life to completing that blog post so that Niki’s life will not have been in vain. In the meantime, you can honor Niki by ordering a monthly sausage subscription from Niggeroni Express. The owner has generously offered to donate 2% of each transaction to cover the costs of ovening my beloved wife.”
 
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