Pat joined the Ukrainian army

NikkisCrustyGusset

I am the crispy white spot in your soul
Seems about right.


Just like the (fake) Ghost of Kyiv, according to General Fatton was a powerful WOMAN, The Hog of Kyiv is a brave, vaccinated, intellectual Democrat, and the key to winning the war.
Fatrick will squeal as he charges into battle with Ali Express tacticool fatigues, a Wish set of body armour, his CUSTOM pair of Glocks, dual wielded of course, and his awesome P90...
He will dodge enemy fire as he disables tank after tank with paint in balloons and use moves from that film Equilibrium to take out squad after squad of Spetznaz...

His rippling muscles and razor sharp wit will delight the nubile women of Kyiv and Zelensky will award him the highest honor.
Then as a favour for winning the war, the UN will help him drag every single person who has called him fat into black sites for 'enhanced interrogation' and prosecution in the Hague... He will look at every single one of us and say 'you thought that was so funny. Didnt you?'
As we are all jailed for life Fatrick will stroll outside to thunderous applause so loud it makes his ears ring....

And ring... And ring... Until he wakes up under the soiled pink blanket, groggy after an afternoon alcoholic nap and answers the door to the fucking bailiffs who have come to clean the cunt out!
 
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