Overweight undercover vandal is still #amwriting

[TorqueWheeler]

That reminds me, I've been meaning to get a new spacebag.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

How many badass female protagonists in a row is that now, Pat? At least three? Doesn't sound like a very ethnic name though and no mention of xer being LGBTQIA+ anywhere on that page. What a Nazi.

 

[MunchausenByProxy]

Didnt he start writing that over a year ago? Someone who’s only “job” is to write should be cranking out content

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

"...helpful little app built into the servos..."

What?

"...significantly less exciting than the journey..."

Great, just tell the reader what's exciting or interesting instead of showing it in the writing.

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Congratulations on your six paragraphs.

 

[Kim_Jong_Poon_]

I know when I get catfish and exposed for being a fraud, I just bury myself in my work. That's just me though

 

[EraGodless]

Did ya?

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I made it ten words in before I wanted to kill myself. Best of luck to the rest of you.

Fucking Hemingway ovah here.

 

[guest]

"I must be loyle to my capo."

 

[FurBurger]

Fuck it, I'll have a go.

PaulRNelsonn's already covered Pat's magic talking cabin.

There was a bright dividing line between the lived experiences of veterans like her and the civvies they volunteered to pull back from the darkness...

Would anyone like to guess which character is Rick in disguise?

At some point, she'd stopped caring about their opinions about the hows and whys of what she did.

Pat should take a tip from his Fairy Sue, and stop caring about what other people think. Also, nice double "about".

The high-pitch whine of jackscrews and the sudden sideways throw of her body in its chair told Fatrick the camelback had deployed airbrakes to bleed off velocity. As aerodynamic lift over the wings fell to naught blah blah blah...

Mil-Spec Pat in full effect; a whole bunch of extra technical-sounding verbiage that adds nothing and changes nothing. She could just feel the ship slowing and transitioning to landing, for example. Oh, and don't throw people sideways, dummy, it's bad for the spine; that's why cars, planes and spaceships have people facing forward or back.

The skids took the full weight of the camelback, and Fatrick felt the full weight of the planet's gravity for the first time. Eighty-nine percent of Earth standard, according to a very handy little app built into the servos of her artificial leg.

How? How did your leg "feel the full weight of the planet's gravity"? Weren't you sitting in a chair in that last sentence? Why is the app built into into the motor of your leg - shouldn't it run on a computer? Are you naked from the waist down and looking at your leg for guidance? And how the fuck is a servomotor - a technical term that Mil-Spec Pat doesn't really understand, but sounds technical - going to measure gravity anyway?

...Stanton and her spacebag...

Does she have the whole set, Pat? Spacebag, landbag, airbag; maybe a tropospherebag for special occasions...

 

[guest]

For me one of the hallmarks of a good writer is they're "easy" to read. There's a clarity to their writing and reading it is almost effortless. Their characters and plots are alive and jump off the page because you can "see" them, thanks to the way they write and the words they use.

Fat's writing has none of that. It's a chore to read anything he writes. He is a bad writer. Putting basic grammatical errors, bad use of vocabulary and muddled syntax aside, he has nothing to say and he takes too long trying to say it. His writing is jumbled, wordy garbage; the self-indulgent musings of a cretin who's convinced himself he's smart.

 

[TomFromNawlins]

Does mil-spec sci-fi just mean copying technical requirements from a defense specification and pasting them into the exposition?
Add in some whiz bang pew pew to sci fi it up as needed?

 

[BUBBLER]

Idiot can’t even spell the name of his own state correctly.

We've been messing with an actual retard. He's literally Chris Chan level retarded

 

[HalfHouseFatty]

Hes got that word count at the bottom so he knows when the book is done. Just like a book report in middle school.

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

Everything he does is just derivative garbage. I hate him so much. What is the market for his “I’m a writer, too!” schlock? Who out there can’t wait to read Fat’s version of “Generic Space Opera”, which offers nothing new to the genre nor any deep insight into the human condition?

What are you even doing, Fat? Your vanity “career” has gone nowhere, and your life is significantly worse than when you started. uou could have had a wife and kids plus a normal job, maybe you could have done some writing on the side. But no, you are a special boy with an unoriginal, copycat voice that needs to be heard so you alienated your wife with your childish, hopeless pursuit and lost the only things that matter in this life. Enjoy your corn-toothed butch lesbian wife, empty half-house, impotent political rage, and cats, you fucking shrew.

This is what your “career” has gotten you: a documented account of your failure, in addition to never-ending ridicule from various John Does. You fat fucking retard.

 

[Nick_Carpinelli]

Reading Patrick's writing is like when they got to the phone scam part of Scott and Todd during Jocktober and all the fun grinds to a halt. Now I'm just angry after reading this shit. He stinks on ice

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

We've been messing with an actual retard. He's literally Chris Chan level retarded

Yep, Pat’s a literal pants-shitting retard. It’s why he gets a monthly disability check and Niki gets one as his caretaker. He’s literally a drooling retard.

I would feel bad about mocking him if he wasn’t such a raging cunt to everyone.

all you need…
…is a penny…
…to strike it rich…
…on WALLLLL Street….

 

[TorquieTwoBeers]

Stanton watched with interest as a crew of workers in full NBC gear despite the heat employed military-surplus flame-throwers against the tall grasses encroaching on the road they barreled down.

Jesus. Whoever ends up reviewing this trash when it comes out might want to save time and Ctrl+C "[sic]" so they can just paste it in every time they quote something. What a tortured sentence.

 

[Raymond]

Maybe use the Snipping Tool, y'all.

 

[MonsterSteve]

#amfaggot #amfatterthanever

 

[guest]

Everything he does is just derivative garbage. I hate him so much. What is the market for his “I’m a writer, too!” schlock? Who out there can’t wait to read Fat’s version of “Generic Space Opera”, which offers nothing new to the genre nor any deep insight into the human condition?

What are you even doing, Fat? Your vanity “career” has gone nowhere, and your life is significantly worse than when you started. uou could have had a wife and kids plus a normal job, maybe you could have done some writing on the side. But no, you are a special boy with an unoriginal, copycat voice that needs to be heard so you alienated your wife with your childish, hopeless pursuit and lost the only things that matter in this life. Enjoy your corn-toothed butch lesbian wife, empty half-house, impotent political rage, and cats, you fucking shrew.

This is what your “career” has gotten you: a documented account of your failure, in addition to never-ending ridicule from various John Does. You fat fucking retard.

Your thoughts are appreciated, Governor.