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Odd things you thought as a child.

Lamont & Tonelli

Brevity is... wit.
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58,732
No it's about Mark Harmon's faggot kids trying to save a Loch Ness creature type thing in British Columbia. It's basically an Oreo commercial.


I remember being so disappointed in the lame creature, and for some reason I remember Sam Neill instead of Harmon. Only saw it the one time in afterschool, and the anger I felt at waiting all that time through that stupid fucking movie to get to the action... and it sucks. Dragonheart was a similar letdown.
 

BonnieMcFarlaneMe2

❤️subscribe to the bon-fire❤️
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90,563
My mum told me any time I swore it put another nail in Christ. My grandpa also used to say he ate worms
I was told that using your middle finger meant “F*** G**.” Incredibly bizarre thing to teach a child in Catholic school. Pretty sure my friend’s mom told us that when we were watching Austin Powers.
 

chewtoyrapist

Strong. Confident.
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16,797
I thought all the other kids got hit at home too :(

When I was like 5 I thought pectorals were called peckers and I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to jut my chest out and show off my peckers. Also muscle related, a few of us at summer camp somehow all agreed on a method to count our abs by hitting our stomach in arbitrary patterns. Nobody had less than a four pack even though nobody had visible or defined abs at all.
 

SoloJoeAcousticShow

Ain't it fun?
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5,344
I once somehow put pressure on my prostate when climbing a pole in gym class and almost came sans-boner. I thought I unlocked some crazy new thing only I knew and wondered why the other kids groaned at the thought of climbing. I loved it. I'm sure some of these kids knew.
 
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I couldn't see the S on Superman's chest patch. I thought the parts around it were Kryptonian symbols. When a kid at school pointed it out, boy did I feel like a goose.

I also remember basically thinking everyone was nice until about 8 or 9, and having that misconception roughly and quickly removed from my thinking by a couple of other boys in my class. One fat little arsehole called Alex punched me hard in the stomach when I thought we were just playing around shadow boxing. Thanks for the wakeup call, cunt. The other prick I thought was a friend, until he humiliated me in front of a roomful of kids at summer camp for a cheap laugh. I can still remember the raw sting of betrayal lol. Live and learn.
 

alkiefuck2

don't call me scarface
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8,510
I was told that using your middle finger meant “F*** G**.” Incredibly bizarre thing to teach a child in Catholic school. Pretty sure my friend’s mom told us that when we were watching Austin Powers.
Lol Catholics are brutal. Another retarded thing, I thought hell was just under the ground so I'd stomp it to show the devil I was a fawkin problem
 
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There was this 50-cent Kool-Aid plastic tube thingy with a jet pictured. I must have been 3 or 4 years old as this is one of my earliest memories. Anyway, I was certain drinking from it would make me fly. But then I spilled it.

I remember having regretful and self-critical feelings of "what-ifs" and "you spilled your one chance to ever fly, stupid"...until the age of 5. t remember the embarrassment that I even had that previous notion, sinking in at around 5.
 

UnPRePared

For the last time, I am NOT Ray Stevenson!
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53,224
I've been known to climb atop a few poles if you know what I mean. Never actually a Polish guy though. @UnPRePared is playing hard to get.

Well, you know fuckall about me, so I'll safely assume you're an American Phil Collins Fellater.

I'm Scottish, lad, and I emigrated to Poland. It's wonderful here (with caveats). Whereas if I was Polish and living in Scotland, I'd probably be dragged through the street as we speak.

ESPECIALLY if it's Edinburgh, bunch of cunts.
 
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