Nice reputation stupid

[CumiaPoodle]

Goodnight

 

[guest]

My best friends mom was a whore. She was 33 when I was 13 and her oldest son was 16. Her face was ehhh but she had the body girls almost kill themselves at the gym to have. The biggest ass I’ve ever seen to this very day. With barely any weight on her. Maybe she was 155 pounds but it was all in her ass and thighs.

Everyone would go to his house just to see his mom. This was every day. She was a Latina milf. When I first met her son he sold me a pair of her used panties for a dollar. Pretty soon I was skipping school to Jack off using her panties to wrap around my dick another pair in my mouth one around my face with the pussy part right on my nose.

Couple months later kids would just walk in to do it. one time I walked in picked up her pants she used for work the day before. (She worked standing on her feet all day walking) I inhaled the asshole part for a while. Lied down on her bed with a bunch of panties and jacked off. This was a king size bed. I never came this much ever again. It hit all the corners of the bed. There was barely more than 10 by 10 inch square that wasn’t covered in cum.

Another friend came with me to his house. I asked if he wanted to go first as I had done this so many times. He said he didn’t want to do it. I called everyone so excited because even in porn I never seen anything like it. My friend who refused earlier walked in and said get out. I’m like why he said “It’s my turn” 3 minutes after he said that he walked out. I was like you change your mind? He was like “nah I’m done”

When we all went back in there. There was cum smeared everywhere. It fully covered the bed now. But he never grabbed a pair of panties. He just rolled around in my cum like a little pig in mud and jacked off. Which made him finish in almost two and a half minutes.

A year later we all got drunk off Jack Daniels and he told everyone he was gay. The next day said that we were making it up and he didn’t remember that.

EDIT: this dude also got really fucked up off ambien went into my living room. Then In front of everyone who was there pulled his pants down and tried shoving a size 7 Ralph Lauren polo boot up his ass while attempting to sing the star spangled banner. He got stabbed in the lung area with a screw driver when he refused to give up his little cousins PSP to the gang members trying to rob him. Years later I was going to this park everyday for a week to chill with these girls. With my friend who sold me his moms panties. The day we didn’t go. Gay kids cousin was brought to the park by his gang. While he was on the swings smoking he was Shot in the back of the head the bullet exited through his mouth broke his teeth. They emptied the rest of the bullets into his chest.

Jesus, what a roller coaster. I laughed, I cried, I came.

Seriously though, I remember those teenage loads. One time on a school trip this crazy kid Tommy stole a bunch of porn mags from the resort convenience store. I was 13 and hadn't really seen much except for pictures of tits and bush. That was the first time I'd seen spread pussy, blowjobs, fucking etc. I took one into the bathroom and was literally firing volleys across to the other side of the room. 5 minutes later, rock hard and ready to go again. You don't appreciate it at that age and it's completely wasted anyway. You don't realise that 25 years later you'll be surprised if it doesn't dribble out.

 

[Libby Son Of Loin]

Yeah we need @CumiaPoodle and @covidcumia podcast it would be 6 hours of stories, every second riveting

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Jesus, what a roller coaster. I laughed, I cried, I came.

Seriously though, I remember those teenage loads. One time on a school trip this crazy kid Tommy stole a bunch of porn mags from the resort convenience store. I was 13 and hadn't really seen much except for pictures of tits and bush. That was the first time I'd seen spread pussy, blowjobs, fucking etc. I took one into the bathroom and was literally firing volleys across to the other side of the room. 5 minutes later, rock hard and ready to go again. You don't appreciate it at that age and it's completely wasted anyway. You don't realise that 25 years later you'll be surprised if it doesn't dribble out.

You’ve ever jacked off into a friends mother or sisters panties? I really hope you’ve tried it. There’s nothing better..

 

[CumiaPoodle]

Yeah we need @CumiaPoodle and @covidcumia podcast it would be 6 hours of stories, every second riveting

Yeah that would also make for an amazing podcast but I would have to retell a lot of stuff from the past few days I burned a lot of material

 

[HotDogJoe]

There was cum smeared everywhere. It fully covered the bed now. But he never grabbed a pair of panties. He just rolled around in my cum like a little pig in mud and jacked off. Which made him finish in almost two and a half minutes.

This is some of the funniest shit I've ever read.

 

[Feltch My Ass]

You’ve ever jacked off into a friends mother or sisters panties? I really hope you’ve tried it. There’s nothing better..

 

[Udders]

Her used panties never ever had a bad smell ever. And she found out that I was taking them Cuz she set up a pair of trap panties that I took the bait on. all she did was ask me to stop stealing them because they were expensive

Trap panties? Hahahahahaha fucking christ please tell the complete story. Even though I can put 2 and 2 together, its the details that matter.

 

[cliveowen]

Yeah that would also make for an amazing podcast but I would have to retell a lot of stuff from the past few days I burned a lot of material

Norton's been retelling the same few stories for 20 year now, you'll be fine

Not trying to dox you, but what part of the country was this?

 

[guest]

Yeah we need @CumiaPoodle and @covidcumia podcast it would be 6 hours of stories, every second riveting

I know a story I heard about in the media about where it was claimed my father put bodies and it's fucking good, but doxxes me too much lol.

You’ve ever jacked off into a friends mother or sisters panties? I really hope you’ve tried it. There’s nothing better..

I once jacked off on the bed of customer, she was a model, her pictures were around, while sniffing her panties after i finished my work. The landlord had let me in, and when I was done I pulled up my pants put my tools back on went to the door and her boyfriend was there and he did the close talker thing asking who I was. I said my job function and I was big and in shape at 22-23 he seemed pissed, I swear he may have come in and seen me and waited to confront me, but seeing me standing made him think better of it lol. I also have another one that's even funnier where I self trolled back then by what it turned out to be. I also robbed my friend's sisters panties a few times and did the deed at home lol.

 

[RobertMewler]

I know a story I heard about in the media about where it was claimed my father put bodies and it's fucking good, but doxxes me too much lol.

I once jacked off on the bed of customer, she was a model, her pictures were around, while sniffing her panties after i finished my work. The landlord had let me in, and when I was done I pulled up my pants put my tools back on went to the door and her boyfriend was there and he did the close talker thing asking who I was. I said my job function and I was big and in shape at 22-23 he seemed pissed, I swear he may have come in and seen me and waited to confront me, but seeing me standing made him think better of it lol. I also have another one that's even funnier where I self trolled back then by what it turned out to be. I also robbed my friend's sisters panties a few times and did the deed at home lol.

Is this a common thing men do??

 

[ChildSpitTake]

I know (and hope) you're going to deny it, but you're truly becoming Dan before our very eyes. It's beautiful.

 

[guest]

Is this a common thing men do??

For me it was lol, in my 20's. A good well scented pair of panties over your face aids the masturbation. I wouldn't want the real Carol's covered in squirt from a 70 year old, but our Carol's.... maybe lol.

 

[Mike Glyer]

Is this a common thing men do??

I find the idea of sniffing used panties revolting.

 

[guest]

I find the idea of sniffing used panties revolting.

I find the idea of sucking cock revolting, which seems to be bigger TBH. Different strokes I guess, the panties thing always gave me the great orgasm, followed by the horrific shame that I seek in sex lol.

 

[Opie Army]

I find the idea of sniffing used panties revolting.

the reality is dissapointing at best.

 

[guest]

Is this a common thing men do??

No I think it’s gross

 

[Mike Glyer]

I find the idea of sucking cock revolting, which seems to be bigger TBH. Different strokes I guess, the panties thing always gave me the great orgasm, followed by the horrific shame that I seek in sex lol.

We all have a thing, Booms. I think in general the idea of old bodily fluids just grosses me the fuck out. I'm pretty big on cleanliness. It's probably from when I'd head to my ex's after work on the weekends and she'd be coming out of the shower in her dormroom and off I'd go.

 

[fricklefrackle]

Is this a common thing men do??

Only certain types of men.

 

[Opie Army]

not to out boomer boomia, but the theory of sniffing cunt is great.