New Theory on Pat’s 1.7 GPA

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

We all know Pat is dumb but I think I know why he had a 1.7 gpa and his parents didn’t seem to mind their son was a straight D student.

Pat didn’t care about going to college or getting good grades because he’s such a car guy he was going to become a mechanic or something automotive tech related. He believes he knows everything - including science and technology - that being a mechanic would be easy since he’s so smart. Plus he knows cars so much it would be a piece of cake because Pat is all about the least amount of effort possible. That and he eats lots of cake.

Of course being a mechanic isn’t easy and takes skill and attention to detail which frustrates piggy so he quit / failed out of his big plan. Now what?

Pat scrambles to make up for his 4 years of being a shit student and goes to community college in hopes of salvaging any chance of getting an education for future employment. Pig fails again.

Also explains why he thought he could sell cars - “durrr ima car guy! I can do this durrrr”

Thoughts? Suggestions? E-Rock, Comment?

 

[Easily_Remembered]

We all know Pat is dumb but I think I know why he had a 1.7 gpa and his parents didn’t seem to mind their son was a straight D student.

Maybe he was addicted to the Ds.

 

[Gay Faggot.]

Nope. He’s just a retard that Mama Raven decided to let out into the wild. I guarantee you if we learn anything about his parents, it’s similar to CWC’s parents. Defensive retards who can’t admit their son needs help.

 

[BakersfieldChimp]

We all know Pat is dumb but I think I know why he had a 1.7 gpa and his parents didn’t seem to mind their son was a straight D student.

Pat didn’t care about going to college or getting good grades because he’s such a car guy he was going to become a mechanic or something automotive tech related. He believes he knows everything - including science and technology - that being a mechanic would be easy since he’s so smart. Plus he knows cars so much it would be a piece of cake because Pat is all about the least amount of effort possible. That and he eats lots of cake.

Of course being a mechanic isn’t easy and takes skill and attention to detail which frustrates piggy so he quit / failed out of his big plan. Now what?

Pat scrambles to make up for his 4 years of being a shit student and goes to community college in hopes of salvaging any chance of getting an education for future employment. Pig fails again.

Also explains why he thought he could sell cars - “durrr ima car guy! I can do this durrrr”

Thoughts? Suggestions? E-Rock, Comment?

I still think anyone with any intelligence could get better than a 1.2. You wouldn't even have to try much at all, just being there should be good for a C average.

 

[ISO__JOE]

It is actually pretty wild that Pat was able to remove 2 cylinders from that piece of shit mustang.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

I still think anyone with any intelligence could get better than a 1.2. You wouldn't even have to try much at all, just being there should be good for a C average.

It’s true but knowing Pat he probably convinced himself and his parents that he doesn’t need good grades in school because he’s just going to go to tech school and become a mechanic. He missed a lot of days because he said to his parents “no point in me going, I’m gonna be a mechanic and there’s no mechanic classes in high school” he didn’t even have a senior picture because to him school was a waste of time.

 

[SFWA liaison]

bet you his parents just stopped caring about Pat being special ed and gave up after they realized their second, better son Kyle was not a dud. Kyle is ACTUALLY in STEM and not as a social media LARP or in a "bill nye" way, I think he's a biologist or something like that.

 

[IGotATreeOnMyHouse85]

bet you his parents just stopped caring about Pat being special ed and gave up after they realized their second, better son Kyle was not a dud. Kyle is ACTUALLY in STEM and not as a social media LARP or in a "bill nye" way, I think he's a biologist or something like that.

That’s why he still refers to him as his “little” brother as a way to demean him. Piggy can’t stand that his brother is obviously smarter and more successful than him. It’s all piggy has “oh yeah? Well you’re still my LITTLE brother!” Another win for Pat.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

It is odd that his mother was ok with her kid doing so poorly in a school district she worked for. Must have been embarassing among the coworkers. They all know know what a pain in the ass her kid is and its all her fault.

 

[guest]

My mechanic is the ex boyfriend of a client of mine. Super chilled guy. 30 years old, likes his weed, very dependable. I've used him for the last 5 years and it's great to have a good, reliable mechanic same as an accountant, lawyer and doctor. I don't know what he pulls in but he drives a second hand Merc GT and has a new blonde piece of ass every couple of months. Point is the guy is the total opposite of Rick. Quiet, hard working, knows cars, skinny, heterosexual, fiscally solvent etc.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

I think he always assumed he would become a great author, scriptwriter, standup comedian, public figure based on his obviously superior intelligence and physical attractiveness.

That's why he doesn't have a child, remember? He's too busy focussing on his meteoric career.

And you have to hand it to him, he's pretty much achieved all of his life goals at an age that puts most of us to shame.

When I think about Patrick "Sledgehammer" Tomlinson I have to keep reminding myself - he's achieved all of this at just 42 years of age!

 

[fenrir]

I'm not buying that theory.

You'd think if Fat was going to larp as a mechanic, he'd at least have an auto tech class on his report card somewhere. Even if his high school didn't offer those courses, he still could've gone to an automotive school (which he would've bragged about already).

I think that cunt mother of his convinced him that his ADD made him a special boy with super brain powers that didn't need anybody telling him the right way to put up a fence or spell "Dehli". Fat idiot.

 

[EraGodless]

My mechanic is the ex boyfriend of a client of mine. Super chilled guy. 30 years old, likes his weed, very dependable. I've used him for the last 5 years and it's great to have a good, reliable mechanic same as an accountant, lawyer and doctor. I don't know what he pulls in but he drives a second hand Merc GT and has a new blonde piece of ass every couple of months. Point is the guy is the total opposite of Rick. Quiet, hard working, knows cars, skinny, heterosexual, fiscally solvent etc.

Why don't you marry him?

 

[guest]

Why don't you marry him?

My client is a dolt for breaking up with him. Great guy!

 

[DeadWithoutMyDavid]

Pat couldn't handle an oil change

 

[Cygnus Nana X-1]

Once he realized that being a mechanic means actually fixing cars and not just installing custom dash trim kits on Bullit Mustangs he decided to become a shitty writer.

 

[Stent]

Pat instigates arguments with authority figures as a coping mechanism. He rejected simple realities in school and then assured himself his grades didn'T maT-Ter because the system was against him.

Once he tried that outside of school he found out people don't have to take his shit. Being constantly dismissive, argumentative and wasting time in college gets the door shown to you. Even in a shitty hick technical school.

 

[Pringle Can Lothario]

I was going to attribute it to him being raped repeatedly by the school janitors but then I realized they’re called custodians.

I regret the error.

Also, he’s fat.

 

[NortheastPhilly]

Terrible theory. Patrick is a pseudo-intellectual that will say “occurs” instead of “happens” in an attempt to sound smart. He desperately wants to be a member of the social elite club in higher education. Your typical yuppie hustle and bustle bro that thinks living in Milwaukee and getting out of the cornfield makes him better. He behaves the way he thinks an educated person is supposed to but its all a larp.
He’s just that much of a failure

 

[EraGodless]

Terrible theory. Patrick is a pseudo-intellectual that will say “occurs” instead of “happens” in an attempt to sound smart. He desperately wants to be a member of the social elite club in higher education. Your typical yuppie hustle and bustle bro that thinks living in Milwaukee and getting out of the cornfield makes him better. He behaves the way he thinks an educated person is supposed to but its all a larp.
He’s just that much of a failure

His speech is painfully stilted- even in what should be relaxing environments, he is equal parts turgid and awkward. His speech pattern bothers the shit out of me, because it's so unnatural and uneasy.