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Does he ?
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Lying Joey Diaz updated
- Thread starter aRTie02150
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he's like Morrissey, and the song "under the Bridge".......lifetime pass no matter what
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I mean he did kill a nigger, so? Sort of?
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I'm not sure if it was you or not but I remember one that ground my ribs to dust, where Joey was recounting his days as a backup singer for The Supremes. I think this picture might have gone with it.
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You need to start posting doodles again.
One of the hardest laughs I've ever got was from you explaining that you fucked up Anthony's hair in one spot because you were distracted talking to a coworker.
Not only were you drawing like 50+ hilarious pictures of cretins daily, you were doing it at work, right in front of whoever.
One of the hardest laughs I've ever got was from you explaining that you fucked up Anthony's hair in one spot because you were distracted talking to a coworker.
Not only were you drawing like 50+ hilarious pictures of cretins daily, you were doing it at work, right in front of whoever.
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Lol I remember that day. I remember I drew one of Hank Hill calling Anthony a pedophile and someone at work found it on the floor and asked if it was mine, he was smirking and laughing as he asked. I didn't deny it was mine and he told he me loved KOTH and we laughed.
I had unlimited access to yellow post it notes and hours to blow.
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Only problem with this thread is Diaz ends every sentence with “I swear” so it kinda shuts you down
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His phlegmy fat voice is disgusting to listen to.
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I lived on 3rd Avenue in Elizabeth when I was a kid. Got my fucking ribs.
Rogan: "Good to have you back on the show man, how you been?"
Diaz: "Let me tell you, Joe Rogan, I haven't felt better. Life is fucking awesome."
Rogan: "So last time we talked you mentioned the time you were abducted by aliens and woke up in a UFO. You mentioned the alien coke and the hookers, but you never mentioned how you were able to get back to Jersey. How'd you get back?"
Diaz: "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan, it was fucking insane. I was able to talk to one of the lead aliens. I told him I had a buddy over in Elizabeth who could score him some blow that would knock his alien socks off! This stupid asshole actually points to the steering wheel and says 'well Joey Diaz, lead the way!’ I was fucking blown away, Joe Rogan, I couldn't believe he just hands over the wheel like it's some fucking Cadillac" *red faced, struggling to breathe*
Rogan: "What happened when you got to Elizabeth?"
Diaz: "That's where it gets crazy, Joe Rogan. I land this UFO right in Mattano Park, right across from Jorge's Auto Body, and me and 3 aliens start walking toward 3rd Ave and I'm not even kidding, Joe Rogan, 5 minutes later we hear a whirring and look up and see the fucking UFO flying away. Someone stole the fucking UFO! *gasping for air*
Rogan: "WOW that's CRAZY! What did the aliens do?!"
Diaz: "Get this, Joe Rogan, this alien pulls out an iphone 13....an iphone 13, Joe Rogan, this was in 1984. How the FUCK did he get an iPhone let alone a 13? Don't ask me! I was bummed out that I left my fucking keys in the UFO!" *SNORTING AND LAUGHING WITH A RED FACE*
Does this bit have wheels, or am I wasting my time?
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Rogan: That's crazy! It makes you wonder if Apple came up with their technology by stealing from aliens...
Diaz: You're telling me, Joe Rogan. It doesn't end there. I still needed to get my fuckin keys so I had to call a few of my peoples to see if any of them were chopping up the fuckin thing in a garage somewhere. This was 1984, so I needed to find a payphone. The alien offered his iPhone 13 to me, but I was terrified to use the fucking thing because it was alien technology at the time and don't want to blow my fuckin head off. *Starts getting red*
Rogan: Did you end up getting ahold of anyone?
Diaz: I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan. I had issues convincing people to give me change for the payphone, it didn't help that I was there with 3 fucking aliens that were each 12 feet tall. People were fuckin running from me, Joe Rogan. *Wheezing from being a fat pig*
So I end up finding some change left behind in a payphone and called everyone, Joe Rogan, I mean EVERYONE. Nobody picks up. That's when I kept hearing this strange hum and whirring. I look up and what do I fucking see? That god damn UFO. Guess who's in it? Gilbert fucking Gottfried. SWEAR TO GOD!
Rogan: Wow! That's crazy! I wouldn't expect Gilbert knowing how to pilot a UFO. He didn't even drive a car!
Diaz: That's exactly what I was saying to myself as he started his landing procedures. The aliens were NOT happy. One of them pulled out his terrain manipulation tool and pointed it right at Gilbert's head. That's when I had to step in and say "hey mother fucker! Put down the weapon, let's discuss this like men! Gilbert would never do anything nefarious like stealing a UFO!" and it turns out I was right. Gilbert ends up telling the lead alien that he came across the UFO after he finishes up a set at Catch a Rising Star over on 1st Ave. Unfortunately that club is gone and Gilbert is dead and can't confirm any of this, but I assure you it a true story.
Rogan: Holy shit that's insane! Did Gilbert explain how he was able to link you to the UFO and track you down so quickly?
Diaz: Woah Joe Rogan, what's with all the questions? *Sweats buckets because he's a fucking liar* *wheezing nervous laugh* he told me he just approached the UFO by chance and noticed the keys hanging on one of their hooks. Plus my wallet was there too. I had to make sure Gilbert didn't go and use it, because as you know, he was a cheap fuck. *Red as a tomato hoping Rogan changes the subject*
I'm getting stares at work, so I'll continue this some other time.
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Jersey BABY
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Sounds way too smart for Joey Diaz tbh, 6/10 solid effort
God I wish I knew why I love these SO much.
God I wish I knew why I love these SO much.
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It's truly incredible that he hasn't had a heart attack yet
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Does this have wheels? This is everything I miss about the old sub
Rogan: "Good to have you back on the show man, how you been?"
Diaz: "Let me tell you, Joe Rogan, I haven't felt better. Life is fucking awesome."
Rogan: "So last time we talked you mentioned the time you were abducted by aliens and woke up in a UFO. You mentioned the alien coke and the hookers, but you never mentioned how you were able to get back to Jersey. How'd you get back?"
Diaz: "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan, it was fucking insane. I was able to talk to one of the lead aliens. I told him I had a buddy over in Elizabeth who could score him some blow that would knock his alien socks off! This stupid asshole actually points to the steering wheel and says 'well Joey Diaz, lead the way!’ I was fucking blown away, Joe Rogan, I couldn't believe he just hands over the wheel like it's some fucking Cadillac" *red faced, struggling to breathe*
Rogan: "What happened when you got to Elizabeth?"
Diaz: "That's where it gets crazy, Joe Rogan. I land this UFO right in Mattano Park, right across from Jorge's Auto Body, and me and 3 aliens start walking toward 3rd Ave and I'm not even kidding, Joe Rogan, 5 minutes later we hear a whirring and look up and see the fucking UFO flying away. Someone stole the fucking UFO! *gasping for air*
Rogan: "WOW that's CRAZY! What did the aliens do?!"
Diaz: "Get this, Joe Rogan, this alien pulls out an iphone 13....an iphone 13, Joe Rogan, this was in 1984. How the FUCK did he get an iPhone let alone a 13? Don't ask me! I was bummed out that I left my fucking keys in the UFO!" *SNORTING AND LAUGHING WITH A RED FACE*
Does this bit have wheels, or am I wasting my time?
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It's 3AM on 4th of July weekend 2014. I'm taking long exposure shots of scaffolding and doing bumps off the tripod. Hand to God, Joe Rogan. Lo and behold, this giant of a &$;;-: walks into the frame. Swear to God, she was 8ft tall if she was an inch. Sucked my dick right then and there, then gave me an 8 ball on the spot just for being such a good sport. They ain't people, Joe Rogan, in those days, they were fuckin savages