Lying Joey Diaz updated

[aRTie02150]

Rogan: "Good to have you back on the show man, how you been?"

Diaz: "Let me tell you, Joe Rogan, I haven't felt better. Life is fucking awesome."

Rogan: "So last time we talked you mentioned the time you were abducted by aliens and woke up in a UFO. You mentioned the alien coke and the hookers, but you never mentioned how you were able to get back to Jersey. How'd you get back?"

Diaz: "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan, it was fucking insane. I was able to talk to one of the lead aliens. I told him I had a buddy over in Elizabeth who could score him some blow that would knock his alien socks off! This stupid asshole actually points to the steering wheel and says 'well Joey Diaz, lead the way!’ I was fucking blown away, Joe Rogan, I couldn't believe he just hands over the wheel like it's some fucking Cadillac" *red faced, struggling to breathe*

Rogan: "What happened when you got to Elizabeth?"

Diaz: "That's where it gets crazy, Joe Rogan. I land this UFO right in Mattano Park, right across from Jorge's Auto Body, and me and 3 aliens start walking toward 3rd Ave and I'm not even kidding, Joe Rogan, 5 minutes later we hear a whirring and look up and see the fucking UFO flying away. Someone stole the fucking UFO! *gasping for air*

Rogan: "WOW that's CRAZY! What did the aliens do?!"

Diaz: "Get this, Joe Rogan, this alien pulls out an iphone 13....an iphone 13, Joe Rogan, this was in 1984. How the FUCK did he get an iPhone let alone a 13? Don't ask me! I was bummed out that I left my fucking keys in the UFO!" *SNORTING AND LAUGHING WITH A RED FACE*


Does this bit have wheels, or am I wasting my time?

 

[guest]

Hahaha what a story Artie!

 

[Joe Eyed Cow]

I miss the joey Diaz stories from the og sub

 

[aRTie02150]

I miss the joey Diaz stories from the og sub

Me too. I wrote some fucking classics and wish I saved them. Reddit even went and shut down the r/lyingjoeydiaz sub and everything. Sad really.

 

[Harry's Manly Calvester]

I miss the joey Diaz stories from the og sub

We also lost whoever was the king of Rollins posting. Even on the prior forum, we had some good Rollins posts, but it's a dead art.

 

[aRTie02150]

We also lost whoever was the king of Rollins posting. Even on the prior forum, we had some good Rollins posts, but it's a dead art.

Pretentious Henry Rollins stories were my favorite thing ever.

 

[guest]

We also lost whoever was the king of Rollins posting. Even on the prior forum, we had some good Rollins posts, but it's a dead art.

 

[aRTie02150]

@That Nigga Dre was very talented at Pretentious Henry Rollins posts. I hope he's doing well.

 

[guest]

Pretentious Henry Rollins stories were my favorite thing ever.

That's what they all say.
I don't really care for it, to be frank.
I've had a long career, dealt with a lot of assholes, and frankly most people are as dumb as the day is long.
Cliche, yes, I know. But after touring for a few decades I don't have time to think of nuanced retorts for those who can't see the bigger picture.
In Afghanistan I saw a young girl, maybe 12, and she was authentic... nothing like you see in the states.
Her face left a lasting memory on my psyche, one that I can't get rid of.
I often see her, in my memory, fleeting while I do some mundane tasks and attempt to be a productive member of society.
Besmirch me? No. they can try, but that's one narrative I won't dare to comprehend.

 

[aRTie02150]

That's what they all say.
I don't really care for it, to be frank.
I've had a long career, dealt with a lot of assholes, and frankly most people are as dumb as the day is long.
Cliche, yes, I know. But after touring for a few decades I don't have time to think of nuanced retorts for those who can't see the bigger picture.
In Afghanistan I saw a young girl, maybe 12, and she was authentic... nothing like you see in the states.
Her face left a lasting memory on my psyche, one that I can't get rid of.
I often see her, in my memory, fleeting while I do some mundane tasks and attempt to be a productive member of society.
Besmirch me? No. they can try, but that's one narrative I won't dare to comprehend.

View attachment 54499

 

[guest]

that smiley face?
My experience with the self-proclaimed punk and "scene" pseudo-intellectual kids in my town; taught me they were the elitist, stuck-up, trendy ones and not those they labeled as such.
They just followed different trends than mainstream pop, and as time has gone on, a lot of their stuff has become more mainstream.
Twenty years ago these people would have scoffed at what people do on Facebook and they're right there going along with it.

This is just social anxiety, gentlemen.
You went into fight or flight mode.
I do the same from time to time and I usually feel like an idiot afterwards. It’s almost like a fit of PTSD.
You were bullied as a child, and you want to let the world know you’re not going for it anymore but you end up misjudging the situation and overreacting.

It's so bizarre, I don't even know who's at fault, or if anyone's at fault.
Are you a hipster? Was it a slight towards me? Did you overreact?
Were you right to overreact in order to preempt further slighting?
Are you down to earth, super full of yourself, both, or neither?
Would everyone involved still behave the way they did.... if they'd known how this got lame and weird fast?
It's confusing and unpleasant how confusing it is.

To be honest, that's not up to me, I just make music.
It's up to those who see the bigger picture and attempt to shape our society, and that's not a can of worms I'm willing to open.

 

[JesseTheGovernor]

“I realized I left my fuckin’ wallet in the UFO! I go home to sleep off that alien rock, next thing I know these cop cocksuckas are at my door! I got hit for 4 g’s in parking tickets, Joe Rogan!”

 

[Mitch Weaver]

About time, you’re lazy even for a Mexican.

 

[SoloJoeAcousticShow]

Some solid Diazposting and Rollinsposting going on right here. This bit has legs, I'm telling you Joe Rogan!

 

[aRTie02150]

About time, you’re lazy even for a Mexican.

I told you I'd get back into it...3 years ago....but still told you.

 

[aRTie02150]

that smiley face?
My experience with the self-proclaimed punk and "scene" pseudo-intellectual kids in my town; taught me they were the elitist, stuck-up, trendy ones and not those they labeled as such.
They just followed different trends than mainstream pop, and as time has gone on, a lot of their stuff has become more mainstream.
Twenty years ago these people would have scoffed at what people do on Facebook and they're right there going along with it.

This is just social anxiety, gentlemen.
You went into fight or flight mode.
I do the same from time to time and I usually feel like an idiot afterwards. It’s almost like a fit of PTSD.
You were bullied as a child, and you want to let the world know you’re not going for it anymore but you end up misjudging the situation and overreacting.

It's so bizarre, I don't even know who's at fault, or if anyone's at fault.
Are you a hipster? Was it a slight towards me? Did you overreact?
Were you right to overreact in order to preempt further slighting?
Are you down to earth, super full of yourself, both, or neither?
Would everyone involved still behave the way they did.... if they'd known how this got lame and weird fast?
It's confusing and unpleasant how confusing it is.

To be honest, that's not up to me, I just make music.
It's up to those who see the bigger picture and attempt to shape our society, and that's not a can of worms I'm willing to open.

View attachment 54502

My sides.

 

[IanHalperin]

I swear to fawking god Joe Rogan, I jumped on this homeless mans cake! I smashed a dried up old bitches guitar. I was a fawking savage!

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Rogan: "Good to have you back on the show man, how you been?"

Diaz: "Let me tell you, Joe Rogan, I haven't felt better. Life is fucking awesome."

Rogan: "So last time we talked you mentioned the time you were abducted by aliens and woke up in a UFO. You mentioned the alien coke and the hookers, but you never mentioned how you were able to get back to Jersey. How'd you get back?"

Diaz: "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan, it was fucking insane. I was able to talk to one of the lead aliens. I told him I had a buddy over in Elizabeth who could score him some blow that would knock his alien socks off! This stupid asshole actually points to the steering wheel and says 'well Joey Diaz, lead the way!’ I was fucking blown away, Joe Rogan, I couldn't believe he just hands over the wheel like it's some fucking Cadillac" *red faced, struggling to breathe*

Rogan: "What happened when you got to Elizabeth?"

Diaz: "That's where it gets crazy, Joe Rogan. I land this UFO right in Mattano Park, right across from Jorge's Auto Body, and me and 3 aliens start walking toward 3rd Ave and I'm not even kidding, Joe Rogan, 5 minutes later we hear a whirring and look up and see the fucking UFO flying away. Someone stole the fucking UFO! *gasping for air*

Rogan: "WOW that's CRAZY! What did the aliens do?!"

Diaz: "Get this, Joe Rogan, this alien pulls out an iphone 13....an iphone 13, Joe Rogan, this was in 1984. How the FUCK did he get an iPhone let alone a 13? Don't ask me! I was bummed out that I left my fucking keys in the UFO!" *SNORTING AND LAUGHING WITH A RED FACE*


Does this bit have wheels, or am I wasting my time?

Bringing back some nostalgia from the Reddit days. I love it

 

[Torque’sHeadBump]

Rogan: "Good to have you back on the show man, how you been?"

Diaz: "Let me tell you, Joe Rogan, I haven't felt better. Life is fucking awesome."

Rogan: "So last time we talked you mentioned the time you were abducted by aliens and woke up in a UFO. You mentioned the alien coke and the hookers, but you never mentioned how you were able to get back to Jersey. How'd you get back?"

Diaz: "I'm glad you asked, Joe Rogan, it was fucking insane. I was able to talk to one of the lead aliens. I told him I had a buddy over in Elizabeth who could score him some blow that would knock his alien socks off! This stupid asshole actually points to the steering wheel and says 'well Joey Diaz, lead the way!’ I was fucking blown away, Joe Rogan, I couldn't believe he just hands over the wheel like it's some fucking Cadillac" *red faced, struggling to breathe*

Rogan: "What happened when you got to Elizabeth?"

Diaz: "That's where it gets crazy, Joe Rogan. I land this UFO right in Mattano Park, right across from Jorge's Auto Body, and me and 3 aliens start walking toward 3rd Ave and I'm not even kidding, Joe Rogan, 5 minutes later we hear a whirring and look up and see the fucking UFO flying away. Someone stole the fucking UFO! *gasping for air*

Rogan: "WOW that's CRAZY! What did the aliens do?!"

Diaz: "Get this, Joe Rogan, this alien pulls out an iphone 13....an iphone 13, Joe Rogan, this was in 1984. How the FUCK did he get an iPhone let alone a 13? Don't ask me! I was bummed out that I left my fucking keys in the UFO!" *SNORTING AND LAUGHING WITH A RED FACE*


Does this bit have wheels, or am I wasting my time?

I love how Rogan in this script is in awe, like a stupid kid (at least that’s how I read it).

 

[johnnynoname]

y'all niggas love to shit on Rollins.....he still gets a pass in my books.......