Leslie is a saint on Eart (I can sell this)

[DominusOdium]

Leslie and Lori are my two favorite broads

 

[guest]

Just riffin - - need to know if this is shit.

Last Word was a start-up that presented itself as a solution to "the bot cleansing." The Social Media Integrity Act of 2037 regulated that all platforms routinely perform an algorithmic removal of bots or accounts exhibiting bot-like behavior. This shook the entire PR industry to it's, admittedly, flimsy foundation. Although the cost of human stand ins for bots was prohibitive and the results were often less effective, some interests were vital enough to more than justify the expense.

The fist major campaign Last Word secured was Kitchen Caster tm. The wizard brand in Kitchen counter cleaup. They had come under fire after a consumer study claimed that the spray nozzels routinely failed before the bottle was half empty. This resonated with people to an alarming degree and neccesitated a flurry of adhoc focus groups to coordinate a rapid response team. According to the data, half the people would rather pour cleanser on their counters than purchase another spray bottle.

Enter Last Word. The strategy they employed was inelegant but proven effective: Meanness. Everyone who complained on Demos (think twitter) about any sort of malfunctioning nozzle would get a few comments about their ineptitude. Suggesting that they had an aversion to soap or cleanliness in general. Accounts boasting to be chefs or people that work in housekeeping, real salt of the Earth types emerged to lambaste the consumer for being a butter-fingered, fancy-pants. "Just have your maid do it for you." The sheer adulation and certainty of the Last Word agents worked magic on peoples self esteem. "Surely if these people couldn't even imagine have an issue with a simple nozzle then there must be something wrong with me?" Within a week, complaining about Kitchen Caster would collect you insults from thousands, very few of them agents.

 

[Will Tate]

Just riffin - - need to know if this is shit.

Last Word was a start-up that presented itself as a solution to "the bot cleansing." The Social Media Integrity Act of 2037 regulated that all platforms routinely perform an algorithmic removal of bots or accounts exhibiting bot-like behavior. This shook the entire PR industry to it's, admittedly, flimsy foundation. Although the cost of human stand ins for bots was prohibitive and the results were often less effective, some interests were vital enough to more than justify the expense.

The fist major campaign Last Word secured was Kitchen Caster tm. The wizard brand in Kitchen counter cleaup. They had come under fire after a consumer study claimed that the spray nozzels routinely failed before the bottle was half empty. This resonated with people to an alarming degree and neccesitated a flurry of adhoc focus groups to coordinate a rapid response team. According to the data, half the people would rather pour cleanser on their counters than purchase another spray bottle.

Enter Last Word. The strategy they employed was inelegant but proven effective: Meanness. Everyone who complained on Demos (think twitter) about any sort of malfunctioning nozzle would get a few comments about their ineptitude. Suggesting that they had an aversion to soap or cleanliness in general. Accounts boasting to be chefs or people that work in housekeeping, real salt of the Earth types emerged to lambaste the consumer for being a butter-fingered, fancy-pants. "Just have your maid do it for you." The sheer adulation and certainty of the Last Word agents worked magic on peoples self esteem. "Surely if these people couldn't even imagine have an issue with a simple nozzle then there must be something wrong with me?" Within a week, complaining about Kitchen Caster would collect you insults from thousands, very few of them agents.

As far as expository prose goes I've seen worse.

 

[guest]

As far as expository prose goes I've seen worse.

All I have to do is be better than Pat this first go-round. Thanks.

 

[PorqueDealer]

A good gimmick would be multiple writers writing different books all set in the same pativerse with shared characters.

• The fight club one would work. ed norton pat getting mugged by shines, to come home and tweet his tyler durden owning of a brotosaurus
• A shutter island style one where pat is hunting stalkers. just as he is about to imprison them he resets to norm11
• groundhog day, keeps reliving the BDA TRO court days, no matter what he does, he loses every time. the only way to end it is to drop the TRO but pat #CLTPW (can't let the pollack win)
• sci-fi time travel, where future pat tries to go back in time to stop himself from wrecking his life, except his past self ODD kicks in and he spites his future self further by doubling down.
• butterfly effect, Pat trying to get a win and tomlinsoning the world up with his retardation
• American psycho - pats various escapades in graphic detail. only to find its manic ramblings of a drunk insurance salesman on twitter.

 

[guest]

• butterfly effect, Pat trying to get a win and tomlinsoning the world up with his retardation

Trying to figure out how to do this. He get's some special hacking ability to go back after stepping on a rake and change not only what he tweeted but what his interlocuter tweeted so he can look like he dunked on him. Like when he used to edit peoples replies on his blog to come out on top. But even though the record changes people still remember what they said. Or maybe it's his delusion that he changed the record.

 

[guest]

Josiah wrote the briefly popular game Noozies VS Pedoozles, a silly 2d platformer that features Nazis and Pedophiles in a war for the streets. It got him a job in game design but he still finds time to go after Last Word inc. He publishes fake articles under alt accounts to draw out agents of Last Word in order to expose them. He's identified Pat's characters as being the easiest to expose. It's like Josiah's Walter from Golden Pond. It's his hobby but he considers himself an agent in his own right.

(not that Walter is easy to catch but when you're fishing and you feel him on the line . . you get it)

 

[O-BLOCK NIGGA!]

Just call him Fatrick Plomlinson.

 

[guest]

(Pat home from a typical day at Last Word, goes up to find niki lying in bed with her facing away from the door)

"Are you ready?" Niki shifted slightly kicking the covers off her legs and remained facing away.
"You know we are going to get dinner later so we should do highlights now."
"There's not a lot this time." She turns to face him.
"Two, just two." She reluctantly rises and heads for the bathroom.
"This one is shorter than I prefer but it got a lot of traction. I didn't even know why at the time but now that I think about it . . "
The shower sprayed noisily drowning out Pat's voice.
He moved to the doorway of the bath and took a moment to adjust his tone so that it would rise just above the decibel level of the running water but not so loud as to appear to be yelling. He was very good at this. His tone was strident but never alarming. Cooks could hear him over a hastily dropped basket of fries. Baristas over the screech of their steam vent.
"He started out by questioning my credentials and, as I think you know, that is never a good approach. No, what you want to do is ask a question that you think I can't answer. Now that won't work either but it allows you to save face. Now this guy . .are you gonna wash your hair too . .or . . you know you really should wash your hair if we're going out . . . there may be cameras. Please don't make that face . . you know what I mean. It's OK just wet your hair a little and pull it back will be fine it's not like we're spending money but . . and so the guy didn't even know what to say when Eric broke in and called me Army Major . ."

 

[TorqueWheeler]

WWAW Leslie becoming Owen's literary agent? We got any more novel pitches back there?

I'm open to optioning all of them for the movie rights.

 

[gassers]

A good gimmick would be multiple writers writing different books all set in the same pativerse with shared characters.

• The fight club one would work. ed norton pat getting mugged by shines, to come home and tweet his tyler durden owning of a brotosaurus
• A shutter island style one where pat is hunting stalkers. just as he is about to imprison them he resets to norm11
• groundhog day, keeps reliving the BDA TRO court days, no matter what he does, he loses every time. the only way to end it is to drop the TRO but pat #CLTPW (can't let the pollack win)
• sci-fi time travel, where future pat tries to go back in time to stop himself from wrecking his life, except his past self ODD kicks in and he spites his future self further by doubling down.
• butterfly effect, Pat trying to get a win and tomlinsoning the world up with his retardation
• American psycho - pats various escapades in graphic detail. only to find its manic ramblings of a drunk insurance salesman on twitter.

We need all hands on deck on this one asap, funster.

This is gold.

 

[gassers]

Request for @HH Brother , can you please do a photoshop on this for Fatrick:

Being Patrick Tomlinson:

A Pest takes up a job to support his family. While working late one night, he finds a portal that leads directly to the head of the Terminally Online Chronic Xeeter Patrick Tomlinson.

 

[guest]

That or something like a Chuck Palinuk book. Norton vs Pitt=Pat vs the delusional caricature of a persona he thinks he is in his own mind. I've considered this myself but I'd rather not put my headspace anywhere near where Pat's might be.

I'm drawing on all the things I hate about myself that I try to correct or at least suppress so I don't behave like Pat.
He's like the embodiment of all my worst instincts.