Kayak Hate Thread

[Professor Rape]

Looks fucking stupid wearing a helmet and life jacket when going kayaking

Pussies............

 

[TheRevAlJolson]

WWAW doing a little fishing from a kayak on a peaceful river or lake?

 

[StlakerFatti]

the worst kayakers of them all are generally those who claim atheism.

 

[Dog Eater]

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

A story of a story:
On da sub somebody posted about a story they heard somebody tell on da radio. The guy stole a kayak from Walmart. He got away with it because nobody expected anybody to steal a kayak. He got caught because he came back when he realized he forgot to steal oars. also apparently you don't use oars on a kayak.

 

[BUBBLER]

And then there's paddleboarding AKA even gayer kayak.

Nice standing because your asshole hurts from buttsex

 

[Uncle Floyd]

Once of the first bodies I ever embalmed was a dude who flipped upside down in his kayak. That's why I'll never get in one.

 

[Racist Google Intern]

@TheGhostOfAbeVigoda
hit these guys with your oar.

 

[chocolatehellhole]

Once of the first bodies I ever embalmed was a dude who flipped upside down in his kayak. That's why I'll never get in one.

Nice "once" idiot... I could see misspelling it in the latter part of a sentence, but leading off with it?

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

 

[Juschippinyababe]

WWAW doing a little fishing from a kayak on a peaceful river or lake?

PFG

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Once of the first bodies I ever embalmed was a dude who flipped upside down in his kayak. That's why I'll never get in one.

Did he smash his head when he flipped or was he held in by one of those "skirts" (that's what they're called) that the white water faggots use?

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Douglas, I'm sorry about what happened with Marvelous Maxwell and His Magnificent Motown Monkeys, I've been sick to my stomach about it. We can still feature you live sometimes. "And here he is, folks, DOUGIE!!" *crowd goes wild like John Corabi bringing Vince Neil up onstage to sneeze out a bunch of bullshit*

Kayaks are great. I fish from mine and get drunk in it. It's complete serenity punctuated by raucous fake laughter from O&A clips and me screaming at the trees because I snagged one, or me shit talking beavers, muskrat and geese. Apparently we have nutria here now. If I ever see one it's legit getting the spear and I'm gonna eat it. I saw two of the reddest fucking deer I've ever seen from the kayak today.

I think a kayak and proximity to a chill as fuck lake or river would do you well. I mean that. You'd like it. Don't WEAR the life jacket. I used to keep one behind the seat because you're supposed to legally, now I keep one in between my legs and use it as a tackle box. Nobody wears a helmet. There are some pretty decent falls here that some people do paddle down and they never wear helmets. I did it once and flipped and got banged up but I was fine. I'd do it again if the water was higher and I didn't have a bunch of shit strapped to my kayak to make fishing out of it easier.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'll also add that I realize if you're somewhere where there's a bunch of boats out, kayakers are the cyclists of the water.

However today I met two young homos on a fucking motor boat in the little river right by my house I always use. They were leaving slick shit all over the water and I watched the one cocksucker catch a decent smallmouth right in front of me. I pounded on the top of my kayak so all the fish would fuck off as I went by them. You're driving your car on my bike path, dipshits. A couple weeks ago there were 3 fat assholes on jetskis as I was coming out and the one gunned it and flipped immediately. If they had of whizzed by me making crazy waves I would've tried to spear one of their jetskis and probably hit them.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Did he smash his head when he flipped or was he held in by one of those "skirts" (that's what they're called) that the white water faggots use?

I don't know why I'd expect you to know that detail.

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

I don't know why I'd expect you to know that detail.

Well if the guy's head was all split open he'd have had to patch it up. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for you fucking dummy

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Well if the guy's head was all split open he'd have had to patch it up. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for you fucking dummy

What if he was drowned but then a bear found him and took a swipe at his big dumb head for no reason?

 

[Turry Precision ™®©]

What if he was drowned but then a bear found him and took a swipe at his big dumb head for no reason?

They can tell if an injury occurred after death. You make me sick.

 

[Professor Rape]

I'm just gonna say it.

Surfing is fucking dumb too. Evidence: lots of women do it.

All that work to stand up for a little bit. Like it's cool I guess, but... Come on.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

They can tell if an injury occurred after death. You make me sick.

Why don't you just fuckin shut the hell up?