I'm going to start stealing valor

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I'll tell people my leg was blown off in Afghanistan and my dick was disfigured. It's not like they'd ask to verify that I had a prosthetic leg and a fucked up dick. They'd take my word for it. Because I'm a veteran.

People will be like "I loved you in Prancer!" And I'll be like "you must have me confused with someone else. I'm ex military and I had my leg and dick blown off in a firefight with those fuckin rag heads in the mountains of Afghanistan, protecting your freedoms. No big deal though. I'm just lucky to be alive, you don't need to thank me." And then they would thank me.

I'm not stealing valor for any material gain. I'm just doing it for the love of lying to strangers and making them feel sorry for me and admire me simultaneously.

 

[guest]

You like to lie to people, Abe? FIGURES!

 

[Carl Winslow]

THere are videos on YT of people getting called out. Most of the time, the people calling them out are bigger D-bags.

Honestly, I know faggots that got upper level awards and didn't do shit to get them, or borderline lied when they were put in for them.

Whatever, it's life.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

You like to lie to people, Abe? FIGURES!

View attachment 72273

Well if you're going by my Wikipedia, I was already in the military for real. The jew thing isn't true. I've been over this.

 

[guest]

Well if you're going by my Wikipedia, I was already in the military for real. The jew thing isn't true. I've been over this.

I missed that, please elaborate Abe…

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

THere are videos on YT of people getting called out. Most of the time, the people calling them out are bigger D-bags.

Honestly, I know faggots that got upper level awards and didn't do shit to get them, or borderline lied when they were put in for them.

Whatever, it's life.

I like the ones where they end up hitting the autistic guy playing dress up.

 

[bombvest]

thank you for your service!

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

I missed that, please elaborate Abe…

I told everyone I was a jew so I could get better roles in Hollywood. My name is Abrecht Voeglund and I was born in Germany. I have a foreskin and everything.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

thank you for your service!

Just doing my job, ma'am.

 

[fenrir]

You like to lie to people, Abe? FIGURES!

View attachment 72273

But what did his father have two of? Don't leave us in suspense!

 

[Monk]

I need you to thank me for my service.

 

[fenrir]

Well if you're going by my Wikipedia, I was already in the military for real.

You were in the Poof Patrol from the look of it:

If you can sit like a Tomlinson, you really did get your dick blown off.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

You were in the Poof Patrol from the look of it:

View attachment 72276

If you can sit like a Tomlinson, you really did get your dick blown off.

This is extremely fucking embarrassing. I'm going to kill myself.

 

[guest]

[MEDIA=youtube]W2jgrGtiYHE[/MEDIA]

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

I'll tell people my leg was blown off in Afghanistan and my dick was disfigured. It's not like they'd ask to verify that I had a prosthetic leg and a fucked up dick. They'd take my word for it. Because I'm a veteran.

People will be like "I loved you in Prancer!" And I'll be like "you must have me confused with someone else. I'm ex military and I had my leg and dick blown off in a firefight with those fuckin rag heads in the mountains of Afghanistan, protecting your freedoms. No big deal though. I'm just lucky to be alive, you don't need to thank me." And then they would thank me.

I'm not stealing valor for any material gain. I'm just doing it for the love of lying to strangers and making them feel sorry for me and admire me simultaneously.

Your amputated dick explains your behavior

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Only one person has thanked me for my service.

 

[CuntFucker .]

Start? You've been saying that you were in The Godfather (1972) for years by now.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

Start? You've been saying that you were in The Godfather (1972) for years by now.

I was the main fucking character. Salvatore "The Godfather" Tessio.

 

[CuntFucker .]

I was the main fucking character. Salvatore "The Godfather" Tessio.

Did you know that the novel the movie is based on is actually called Tessio?

 

[Meownaw]

I'm now imagining you looking like this guy from Red Rocket which is a PFG movie.